Am I responsible for always remembering my sister-in-law's B-day (house, issues, money)
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And this is where I reiterate my belief in the USPS. So many people think that it's an anachronism and bypass it in favor of a text, or a phone call, and so the birthday greeting becomes an insincere, hurried, get-it-over-with obligation.
Nothing like picking up your mail and finding a personal greeting. It means someone thought of you and picked out a card and put it in the mail. It took a bit of advance planning and makes the greeting so much more special. And I don't care how old you are, you like feeling special.
Brother shouldn't have taken his complaint to Mom; Mom shouldn't have repeated his complaint to you; you shouldn't look any deeper than your SIL's disappointment at not being remembered individually: not when there's such an easy fix. Dollar Store cards are two for a buck. Stamps are less than 50 cents. You can make somebody (SIL) feel special for under a dollar. Why wouldn't you?
As for being responsible for remembering? Of course you're not "responsible for remembering". But if you like the woman even marginally, it's just a nice thing to do.
I dont even believe this thread..I can't even believe this can be an issue to adults.
Sister in Law has her own family that she grew up with. They know her birthday, and they probably wish her a happy birthday. She has a husband, he can wish her happy birthday. Now she's wanting brother in laws and mother in laws too? What is she, 10 years old? Your brother is your brother, he's immediate family. You grew up with him. Easy to remember his birthday.
When people act stupid like that to me, I wash my hands of them, and dont do anything. If someone whined to me like that, Id never acknowledge their birthday again. You are in a no-win situation. You've been scolded, now you must tell her happy birthday every year. Yeah right.
How stupid.
Edited to add: my SO and I have the same birthday. Same day, same month. We barely remember our own birthdays, much less others.
"if you want people to read your posts with clarity and flow stop breaking it up like a coloring book. just stixk with basic black and do your art somewhere else"
who ever wrote above phrase at rep comments. keep your harassment somewhere else too. Why you are afraid to leave your name ???? If you don't want to read stop!!!! it is that simple!!! read other comments. If you want to insult and harass do them with your name.
Come to think of it. My brother and my SIL, are not punctual with their bday wishes for me or my sister either. My bday is around the holidays so it's kind of lumped in whenever they see me around that time.
Also an update: texted my brother yesterday. Told him I had a bunch of food and cards for him and wife I wanted to bring. He said wife was exercising (he's at work), come over in 35 minutes. I wait 35 minutes, load car with cake, flowers card (three bags of stuff) and a puppy I am currently watching, which she loves dogs. Drive over to their house, knock on door for ten minutes, no answer. Call home phone, no answer. Text brother, he says he'll call her. He calls me back. "She's in shower, just leave it all at the door." I didn't hear any water running.
Alright? She knew I was coming, I was told told to wait 35 minutes before coming. I waited and went to her house and she was still unavailable. She wouldn't answer the door and still, as of this post, she hasn't called to apologize and thank me and family for gifts. She had my brother call with a very lukewarm thank you.
This woman has a history of gift issues. It seems this woman has nothing better to do than micromanage the kinds of gifts she'll be given, whether she'll accept them or not and the exact time and manner in which they will be given. This is not a birthday party for a two year old. Real adults don't have time for this.
If she doesn't call me thanking me for the effort I put into this, dragging an unruly puppy with me who just wants to eat every bug and stick in sight, with three bags of stuff, after I spend hours at a time helping her fix her computer "problems" (which is ridiculous in itself), I'm just going to opt out of gift exchange with my brother and his wife.
Meanwhile she excludes our side of the family from all sorts of activities and finds excuses not to participate when invited to ours. This seems to be more about attention than gift giving etiquette.
I have to be upfront. I didn't marry her and I do resent her assigning me a job. That's kind of messed up when someone you personally didn't voluntarily enter a relationship with, being upset because you didn't show her deference at the appointed time.
Last edited by Shankapotomus; 03-09-2016 at 07:37 AM..
If I am not mistaken you posted before about this SIL that you bullied her at HS and your brother married her and she does not even want to make friends or keep in touch. look like you still bully her.
Well, this would CERTAINLY explain a great deal! News flash....high school is over! Stop being one of the mean girls. Good grief. It's a birthday card not a million dollars.
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