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She also does this weird thing were she favors him over his other cousin so I don't like to leave them alone because I don't want to cause any issue between him and his cousins. She will make comments like "your the smartest your going to be successful and take care of me" in front of his cousin who is the same age. While making negative comments to his cousin. They are six. On christmas she bought him 8 pricey gifts and his cousin two gifts that looked like they were from the dollar store. I can never figure her out its weird.
Isn't it obvious to you that she is grooming a second generation of the "Golden Child (grandchild)" and the "Scapegoat (grandchild)" ?
Do the parents of the grandchild who is told that he is dumber than his cousin and received two dollar store gifts when his cousin received eight expensive gifts also agree that she "isn't a bad grandmother?"
Isn't it obvious to you that she is grooming a second generation of the "Golden Child (grandchild)" and the "Scapegoat (grandchild)" ?
Do the parents of the grandchild who is told that he is dumber than his cousin and received two dollar store gifts when his cousin received eight expensive gifts also agree that she "isn't a bad grandmother?"
No my his sister is crazy enough to leave all her kids with her very often sometimes for a whole summer (can't afford summer camp). To be fair she is a single parents who's husband abandoned his kids. But she's literally the only one out the the 5 with children leave their kids with her alone. I do feel she's doing that but never wanted to fight with his father about their strange relationship. I know this sounds terrible but I figured she's dying and to leave it alone. At least my son will have good thoughts of her when she's gone.
I noticed the strange behavior since they are the only two the same age. The others grandkids are at the age where you give gift cards/ money or too young to even know they have received a gift.
Isn't it obvious to you that she is grooming a second generation of the "Golden Child (grandchild)" and the "Scapegoat (grandchild)" ?
Do the parents of the grandchild who is told that he is dumber than his cousin and received two dollar store gifts when his cousin received eight expensive gifts also agree that she "isn't a bad grandmother?"
This.
As the parent of the child who received too much, while a same-age little cousin received too little - I would have given half to the other child - and let her know it wasn't appropriate to treat children like that. I read a lot about the bad things people do to each other on this forum - but having a child be the recipient of this stuff is abhorrent. I could not just stand by and watch.
As the parent of the child who received too much, while a same-age little cousin received too little - I would have given half to the other child - and let her know it wasn't appropriate to treat children like that. I read a lot about the bad things people do to each other on this forum - but having a child be the recipient of this stuff is abhorrent. I could not just stand by and watch.
I gave him extra gifts. Not in front of her of course.
I gave him extra gifts. Not in front of her of course.
Why not in front of her? You did it like you did something wrong and had to be sneaky. You are enabling her horrible behavior towards the children. I am sorry - that crap would be rectified and she would be told not to do it again. It's children.
I'm just throwing this out here.. My grandson lives with me so he get's a lot of extra's that my other grandkids don't get, so I make up for it on their birthdays. I explained to him why I do what I do, and as far as Christmas goes he usually opens his gifts Christmas eve but I hold back some of them for Christmas day anyway.
Could that be the case? You say your sis in law leaves them with her often.
Why not in front of her? You did it like you did something wrong and had to be sneaky. You are enabling her horrible behavior towards the children. I am sorry - that crap would be rectified and she would be told not to do it again. It's children.
I personally don't want to be the one to do it. Out of all 8 of her kids they should not me. I bought extra because I felt bad. But they can speak to their own mother.
....Also yes the kids spend a lot of time with her so I guess she does feed them. Plus any other daily care but she doesn't really give that loving grandmother vibe to them. Its more of a baby sitter. She does no more than she has to.
She has never spanked my son (well she's know we are against that form of discipline) but has no problem spanking them. If he brakes something she'll let it go but I know thats not the case with the others. My son went with his dad to visit her. When he came home he said that she was being mean to his cousin. So if a six year old can notice that then I'm sure all of them can. I try my best to pick him up when I'm free if I know he's over there.
I have tried before to talk to her as gently as possible about the situation. I know she likes me a lot and will let me say a little bit more than they can. I have told her if she doesn't want to take the kids to refuse especially in her state of health and mind. I have also spoke with her about going easy on the child who is my sons age. I honestly haven't got further than that. I never had to deal with anyone like that before.
I appreciate the advice though for dealing with this craziness.
Your husband is the main problem here. Unfortunately, he was groomed by his mother to be codependent and seems to have acted in this manner for his whole life. Your husband could really use some therapy because this is going to affect him for the rest of his life
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