Struggling to adapt to a new, small town.

[Giesela]

Originally Posted by aliss2

Thanks for the advice. My spouse works in a social services field, with meth addicts specifically, so it's not a criticism but a reality that we have moved to a town with serious drug problems and poverty. So yeah, it's for love.

I understand people are trying to be friendly. But I have never in my life encountered such overt encounters with people asking personal information. I have smiled, been polite, made wee small talk, but I'm not comfortable at all and it's a shock.

Well if its anything like my hometown which is midwestern, a shadow of its former self in terms of population and people with 2 cents to rub together I would think

(1) people may know about your husband and so feel like they know you or should be friendly to you
because honestly many midwestern towns arent that friendly
(2) most of these towns have lost population. People who had the means have left. Its quite an
anomaly for someone to move in, especially someone who seems like they didn't have to. So you are a bit like a new zoo creature

[cattalk1]

Would stick to the library for doing work, better crowd.

Church might put you in touch with the educated professionals, but maybe not.

There may be a bad joke coming for you soon. Recommend you do NOT get angry about anything inappropriate that happens to you....Just keep quiet and the church people around you will explain how the towns run. Some of the smaller Kansas towns will ruin new workers from city who tried to leave so don't be surprised if you are victim of bad joke. The local wealthy is just testing how he can use you....If you get angry, some get ruined. Small town cops can be completely dirty too so no need to bother unless you had burglary and all is missing as insurance will want a police report.

Works great to just keep quiet, smile and be friendly while you let strangers talk. Recommend you do not have an opinion of anything while in country as farmers own it in Kansas, ecological concerns are nil. Do not discuss or rant in public if you got disappointed or screwed. It is best to just discuss once with husband at home and NEVER discuss it again. Can just agree to avoid that one but some towns will just allow the aggressor to keep on coming....All is a balancing act and some places are pretty loaded to challenge the lower-middle class ones who have a little extra money but not well off....Keep emergency fund so you can leave if you wish.

Ran into some country spots with money & lots of weekenders are treating people okay until you move there for good. Is hot in Kansas bigger cities to have a country property so you will have a place to go if you get screwed or finally reach a point where you want to leave city. Then small town will try to ********* to test you......Small towns people didn't mind getting a nicely fixed up property a city slicker abandoned....