How to talk my sister out of meeting an online friend in person? (husband, divorced)
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This is just one thing that I really needed help with. My sister sometimes does things that I don't agree with and I worry about her constantly.
She is 34 and she is living on her own after getting divorced from her husband about a year ago. They were together for almost 13 years. They seemed happy, but she would confide in me about problems they were having, which seemed normal for every couple. My husband and I fight on occasion. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I think she wanted to do more in life and he didn't. They had a mutual break up and got divorced. My sister got her own place afterwards and she seems happier now.
She told me that she was going to travel to Washington State to meet an online friend. Apparently they were friends before she was married and she stopped talking to him when she started dating her husband. She recently found him online and they started talking again. She has never mentioned this guy to me. He's 8 years older than her and he lives with his brother in Seattle.
My sister used to talk to guys online when she was younger and I was always worried that one day she would be abducted because she's an open book. Our mom passed away years ago and neither of us talk to our dad, so I'm kind of alone here. I don't know what this guy's intentions are and I don't know what she is expecting to happen.
I haven't said anything to her about this. I want to chose my words carefully. She is very sensitive and I don't want her to take anything the wrong way. She is a free spirit and in the end she is going to do whatever she wants, but I want her to know how unsafe this sounds. I'm not great with words and I could use some help.
Maybe I'm old school, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with any woman traveling to meet a man for first contact. IMO, it should be the guy who travels. I just think it sends the wrong message.
Having said that, these two have known each other previously, so it's not as if she is traveling to meet a total stranger. Let's call it what it is - a booty call.
I would express reservations, maybe find some articles of the issues that have arisen for such visits and that's it. The ultimate choice is hers to make as an adult.
This is just one thing that I really needed help with. My sister sometimes does things that I don't agree with and I worry about her constantly.
She is 34...
...which means it's none of your business. She's a fully functioning adult and unless she has been living under a rock for the last 20 years, she knows the risks. Likewise, what she's expecting is none of your business either, and you're not her keeper such that you need to make inquiries about his intentions.
Still want to butt in? "How come he's not traveling to meet you, instead?"
But you've already said she's going to do what she wants, so there's not much you can do about it.
Did they know each other in person before or just online?
Hate to break it to you, but pretty much everyone is meeting online and then meeting in person now days, so I hope it's just the traveling part giving you pause.
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Did they know each other in person before or just online?
Hate to break it to you, but pretty much everyone is meeting online and then meeting in person now days, so I hope it's just the traveling part giving you pause.
She used to talk to him online when she was younger, around 17 or 18, I think.
Is there a reason you feel she needs you to mother her? Does she have a history of poor and/or dangerous decisions that have ended poorly?
Remind her of ways to be safe under the circumstances, and remind her, she doesn't really know this guy.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
This is just one thing that I really needed help with. My sister sometimes does things that I don't agree with and I worry about her constantly.
She is 34 and she is living on her own after getting divorced from her husband about a year ago. They were together for almost 13 years. They seemed happy, but she would confide in me about problems they were having, which seemed normal for every couple. My husband and I fight on occasion. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I think she wanted to do more in life and he didn't. They had a mutual break up and got divorced. My sister got her own place afterwards and she seems happier now.
She told me that she was going to travel to Washington State to meet an online friend. Apparently they were friends before she was married and she stopped talking to him when she started dating her husband. She recently found him online and they started talking again. She has never mentioned this guy to me. He's 8 years older than her and he lives with his brother in Seattle.
My sister used to talk to guys online when she was younger and I was always worried that one day she would be abducted because she's an open book. Our mom passed away years ago and neither of us talk to our dad, so I'm kind of alone here. I don't know what this guy's intentions are and I don't know what she is expecting to happen.
I haven't said anything to her about this. I want to chose my words carefully. She is very sensitive and I don't want her to take anything the wrong way. She is a free spirit and in the end she is going to do whatever she wants, but I want her to know how unsafe this sounds. I'm not great with words and I could use some help.
Thanks
She seems like she has know him a pretty long time. It is a wonder why it has taken them so long to try and meet in person? Make sure she tells you all the details ex where she is staying. All of his contact information and all that before she goes. Also could anyone go with her? I have done stuff like this in the past... and nothing ever happen to me. You could meet the guy next door and he could turn out to be a serial killer. It is pretty romantic if they do end up together !
Maybe I'm old school, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with any woman traveling to meet a man for first contact. IMO, it should be the guy who travels. I just think it sends the wrong message.
I don't get your logic? What "message" is this arrangement sending? How would the message be different if he travelled?
Quote:
Originally Posted by reds37win
Let's call it what it is - a booty call.
Not sure why you would assume that. If two people meet online and want to meet someone in person, they arrange a date and time to do it. It doesn't mean there is sex involved.
If those two people happen to live in different states, someone (or both people) will have to travel to meet in person. Why, again, are you assuming sex is involved?
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Free spirit type speaking ...
!
