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I don't know how you can even waste your time hanging out with her. It sounds too exhausting having a friend like that. Sometimes ya just gotta let go, even if it's a long term relationship. It sucks because there's a history, but it sounds to me like this relationship has run its course. She's insecure and sounds like a teenager. People grow, and it appears she hasnt. Move on and at the very least, limit your time with her.
She has simply written it off to, "I was being weird."
I try to dress as modestly and loosely as possible when I'm with her, I almost never mention any of my successes,
"No, you are being an ass."
And stop that! If she can't take it, that's her problem, not yours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by frosty_charge
Recently, she's been bragging about her new higher salary and how great her resume is.
"Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?" Then walk away.
At some point you have to stand up for yourself by giving it right back. She will either stop being a jerk or you two will have to part ways, and it couldn't happen soon enough as far as I'm concerned. no way would I hang out with someone like that.
And stop that! If she can't take it, that's her problem, not yours.
"Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?" Then walk away.
At some point you have to stand up for yourself by giving it right back. She will either stop being a jerk or you two will have to part ways, and it couldn't happen soon enough as far as I'm concerned. no way would I hang out with someone like that.
Here's the thing that makes me doubt myself. She doesn't say it rude or aggressively. She says it with a nice tone, with a smile on her face, in a friendly manner, and saying it sensitively, "Your body is like a stick whereas mine is curvy."
I think it's time for me to bite back as she does, nicely, in a sensitive manner, "You're so mean."
The same with her new salary and resume. She will brag but not arrogantly, but will go on for hours about herself.
Maybe I am too sensitive? Jealous? I also find it odd that she'll try to explain to me medicine. She's been very bad at science all her life, but here she goes arguing with me about something she's read and I'm like, well, that's not really so, and she gets all defensive. Or she'll cut me off to put in her own input.
She doesn't say it rude or aggressively. She says it with a nice tone, with a smile on her face, in a friendly manner, and saying it sensitively, "Your body is like a stick whereas mine is curvy."
That's called passive-aggressive manipulation.
Do not say some mamby-pamby, "Don't be mean to me."
Call her out directly, "Stop saying that to me. I've had enough of your insults, and I'm not going to stand for it anymore."
Here's the thing that makes me doubt myself. She doesn't say it rude or aggressively. She says it with a nice tone, with a smile on her face, in a friendly manner, and saying it sensitively, "Your body is like a stick whereas mine is curvy."
I think it's time for me to bite back as she does, nicely, in a sensitive manner, "You're so mean."
The same with her new salary and resume. She will brag but not arrogantly, but will go on for hours about herself.
Maybe I am too sensitive? Jealous? I also find it odd that she'll try to explain to me medicine. She's been very bad at science all her life, but here she goes arguing with me about something she's read and I'm like, well, that's not really so, and she gets all defensive. Or she'll cut me off to put in her own input.
Recently, she's been bragging about her new higher salary and how great her resume is. I'm happy for her, I know she deserves it but after several hours of her going on and on about it, I felt a bit insecure myself because I chose to further my education (podiatry school) so obviously, I don't have an income right now, my classes are hard, I'm stressed. When I began to tell her about my hard classes, she immediately cut off the conversation and went back to boasting how hard her new job is.
There ya go. This bothers you because you are insecure with yourself. If you were secure in yourself, her comments wouldn't bother you.
I will do it. F it. But next time she compares again, I'll ask her straight up, "How come you make comments about my body/me negatively?"
Passive-aggressive, hm, I'll Google that.
She's right!
I live with someone like that.
I call them out on how what they said was hurtful and I get, "That wasn't hurtful, I was simply stating a fact." It's argumentative as if I was lying or it's my fault.
I feel for you cause it does wear on you after while.
There ya go. This bothers you because you are insecure with yourself. If you were secure in yourself, her comments wouldn't bother you.
I know, but I try my best. I can't be secure 24/7 100%.
For the most part, they don't bother me but when she goes on and on for hours on end about her life, her job, her relationship, I'm like, okay, I don't feel so great now. And I do think she does this with a purpose, too. Because I don't take this approach. When I failed organic chemistry, she boasted about her straight As in English. When she failed Algebra, I kept my successes to myself. Shouldn't a friend be considerate of others?
When your friend gets laid off and you get a promotion, are you going to be first thing boasting about your promotion?
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