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My very secret wish is that one of my girls would step up and take on the job of hosting all the holidays. I have held the job of keeping the traditions going (in my home) for more than 50 years. Time for a rest
You're right, it's time (although sons can host too!). Have you said as much?
After cooking and hosting Thanksgiving for 30 years, I told my brother, who is my only nearby sibling, that now that I was working, I would not be doing it. He said "Well, I guess it's our turn, so please join us."
This may be the most relaxing Nov-Dec I've experienced since I was a kid.
The past couple of Christmas' I have given mostly gift cards to my children and their spouses. All the teens get money and only the youngest get toys. They all seem to just enjoy our traditional Christmas eve buffet and gift exchange and family fun and the big traditional Christmas day dinner.
We are a large and very close family and live quite close except for my son who is 4 hours away, but always comes home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
My very secret wish is that one of my girls would step up and take on the job of hosting all the holidays. I have held the job of keeping the traditions going (in my home) for more than 50 years. Time for a rest
My advice is to not keep your wish secret. Please tell everyone that this is your last year of hosting and you are turning over the joy & responsibility to someone else, or multiple people, in the next generation.
I was talking to my hubby's aunt yesterday on the phone (she lives 1,000 miles away). She commented that she had hosted both her immediate family and the extended relatives every year for multiple holiday celebrations, in addition to Thanksgiving and Christmas, often Easter, 4th of July, Labor Day, etc.
She said that as she is in her late 70s and both her & her husband are in very poor health, it was someone's else's turn to take over. She said that she was happy that her daughter, who lived about an hour's drive away, was going to be in charge of Thanksgivings & Christmas this year.
But she also said that even though her nieces & nephews, and their families, came to her house for decades, for many of the major holidays, she had never even once been invited to their homes for a holiday celebration.
It was just assumed that Aunt Mary & Uncle John would be hosting (and buying most or all of the food, and doing all the cooking & cleaning, etc. etc.) She said that she had really wished that years earlier she had "put her foot down" and said that everyone should take turns hosting at least some of the holiday celebrations. And, the nieces & nephews are not young, single kids anymore, as they were when their aunt first started to invite them, they are all in their 50s and usually come with their spouses & adult children!
Last edited by germaine2626; 11-20-2016 at 08:26 AM..
I've been fighting the gift thing in my family for years. I'm single, I don't have kids, and my siblings and nieces and nephews and parents get together for Christmas. We've traditionally exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve, but there's so many people involved now that it gets difficult. At one point somebody decided on a $10/person limit, but then you just end up getting a bunch of dollar store crap that you never wanted in the first place or a stack of gift cards. Last year I tallied up the money I'd spend and made a donation to Heifer International, which seems like a fairly neutral charity. I might do the same this year.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 11-20-2016 at 09:29 AM..
We do not exchange gifts in my family. Why should we? The adults have everything that they need - really don't need more "stuff" piling up in their homes. Trouble is - without the gift opening process, there isn't much entertainment at Christmas gatherings...we've talked about doing a White Elephant gift exchange. Done properly, and with the right group of people, those can be fun. And you arent cluttering your home with more stuff.
We do not exchange gifts in my family. Why should we? The adults have everything that they need - really don't need more "stuff" piling up in their homes. Trouble is - without the gift opening process, there isn't much entertainment at Christmas gatherings...we've talked about doing a White Elephant gift exchange. Done properly, and with the right group of people, those can be fun. And you arent cluttering your home with more stuff.
I know quite a few adults, either as a family or as a group of friends, do white elephant exchanges. Most people just love them.
A friend of mine and I were talking and the topic got around to Christmas gifts.
I'm of the decision that I'm only getting gift cards for my family. It's just my brother, sister, myself, my nephew (my sister's son) and grandnephew (nephew's son).
In other words, there's not many of us left. All of our elders (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles) all passed on; we have distant cousins mostly down south.
I am sorry for your losses. I had many aunts and uncles. At this time of year I feel their absence most keenly.
I got everyone except DH Amazon gift cards last year. I watch people when they open gifts and so far, I've never seen anyone's face fall when they realize they received a gift card. Apparently I have given other gifts that were clunkers (who hasn't) but gift cards seem safe.
Enjoy your holidays. Do something nice for yourself.
Christmas as a concept (peace on Earth, goodwill to.....) has always been a idea I've held close to my heart. But I long ago gave up the commercial attachment to it that I had when I was younger. Lots of reasons for that way of thinking, probably too many to go into any great lengths about here but I'll list a few.
Mom was a firm believer in the idea that you get her a gift at some random point of the year instead of on a "manufactured" holiday that suggests you're a bad person if you don't spend money on a loved one. Buy a bag of cat food for her pets, bring a pizza and spend some time with her because you want to, in, let's say, the middle of May. To her, that showed you really cared.
One Christmas years ago was the haul of the century for my twin boys, maybe they were eight at the time. Grandparents were still alive, all the old aunts and uncles. The floor around the tree could hardly hold the motherlode of gifts they received. They'd lost interest in opening any more gifts after the first ten or so and went back to playing their video game. The rest of the gifts sat there and were then relegated, unopened, to a closet. Years later they were finally donated off, opened only because you couldn't give wrapped toys away to the drive.
Twenty years in radio meant twenty holiday seasons of recording massive amounts of commercials for the local businesses. Hundreds of them. The only time any of them shut up about the deals they had, and why you should spend money with them, would be the actual day itself. Then it was full tilt boogie mode for the after holiday sales. Sell, sell, sell. That took a lot of fun out of the season.
So, what do I do? Not a nickel spent on gifts, for anybody. But, all the loved ones are welcome at the house. I'm welcome at theirs. The gift of time and friendship is the best gift I can give, the best I can receive. Thankfully I've managed to gather a good network of folks over the years who understand my peculiar ways.
I am sorry for your losses. I had many aunts and uncles. At this time of year I feel their absence most keenly.
I got everyone except DH Amazon gift cards last year. I watch people when they open gifts and so far, I've never seen anyone's face fall when they realize they received a gift card. Apparently I have given other gifts that were clunkers (who hasn't) but gift cards seem safe.
Enjoy your holidays. Do something nice for yourself.
Thanks fluffy....
We still exchange gifts, but we don't go crazy anymore. Last Christmas I got my brother and sister each a wireless tablet; my nephew a camouflage sweater. The sweater was so nice I considered stealing it back! (LOL).
I believe that the one Christmas gift I appreciate more than anything....is time spent with my family! We speak on current events, yet we still reminisce about the old days!
For who? My kids aren't little, they're in their 20s. They can spend the day with their girlfriends. I wouldn't have made the decision without their input or if I felt they were going along with the idea just to make me happy. They said they loved the travel plan.
I'll send a gift to my mother, and to our grandson.
Well you can do something for someone or a family who is less fortunate than yourself. I don't believe you necessarily have to be a christian or religious to be in the spirit of giving this time of year. Christmas is widely celebrated in Japan, a non christian nation as well as in other non christian nations. But, I understand your point of view Mattie. I just hate to see you totally abandon the spirit of Christmas, but whatever works for you and your family.
Just because someone doesnt do Christmas, doesnt make them a Grinch. I HATE this time of year because we DONT do Thanksgiving or Christmas and people assume we do...it makes it hard on US. " Oh, whats Santa bringing you" while standing in line.." We dont celebrate Christmas" and then we get that glare.
I agree with Mattie..why do a small version? Just because tradition says to?
I was only kidding around, was not being serious at all. Trying to have a little light hearted fun during this holiday season. Sure Mattie can do whatever she wants, but this a forum and people respond. It's not that serious.
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