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your mother had just lost her husband unexpectedly and was grieving. You forced her into a confrontation you knew she would hate over something she deemed insignificant compared to her loss. You cared more about your feelings of outrage over flowers and ego than you did about her feelings at a most vulnerable and difficult time, and it wasn't even your money. No wonder she was upset!
I'm just curious what others think of this behavior, both by the store clerk and by my Mother.[COLOR="red"
I'm not really[/color] looking for criticism of my behavior, as I was just trying to do the best I could and don't feel that I did anything wrong. You would have to know my Mother to realize that NOTHING would have gotten done if it had been left up to her
I just love it when people ask for opinion and then say they don't want to be criticized. If Mom does not like confrontation I certainly would not have dragged her to the store. You ordered the flowers. If you felt you had been wronged I see no reason you could have not gone to the store by yourself and given the clerk a good piece of your mind.
What did she think they were going back to the flower store for? She could have refused to go if she felt that strongly about it.
That's a good point. I'm really curious if the OP told his mom in advance that they were going back to the store to demand a refund because the flowers were wrong, or if he simply said he needed to "stop by the florist" or said nothing at all.
And if he told her upfront what they were doing, I'm curious if she was on board with that or tried to object. If she went willingly with the OP to the store knowing he was going to demand a refund then she blew up at him afterwards, then she reacted wrong. But the OP didn't say anything about his mom changing her tune so I'm betting the mom was never ok with it. If she was blindsided or pushed into going then she oughta be upset.
Curious about what set up the trip back to the florist too...
Funerals are for the living. The ones left behind. Your Dad doesnt care about the flowers. If your Mom is okay with it then you should have just let it alone. She doesnt want the memory of her husband's funeral capped off with a confrontation with the florist.
Or maybe you shouldve gone and got the refund without her.
This is about someone who didn't like the color or type of flowers that were substituted for what was ordered. If 'mom' paid for them and she didn't care then she wasn't 'wronged', and she didn't overreact to someone creating a distressing situation on her behalf.
It's not as though this was a situation that would result in loss or harm if no one stepped up and involved themselves in this business. Priorities, this one is way down at the bottom.
That's one way to look at it. I think the florist was trying to rip her off. I'm not the only one:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint
It's not that unusual for florists to pull that, especially for funerals. "Get rid of the flowers that are past prime or over-stocked." You were right to get a refund, and the florist knew it. I think you were right in preventing your mother from being taken advantage of by her.
But the OP didn't say anything about his mom changing her tune so I'm betting the mom was never ok with it. If she was blindsided or pushed into going then she oughta be upset.
Possibly, and I can see her being upset over it, but I can't imagine the amount screaming/berating/anger being over this incident alone.
Possibly, and I can see her being upset over it, but I can't imagine the amount screaming/berating/anger being over this incident alone.
You can never look in from the outside and know the full context and background of a situation. One thing you can count on is if you are given the context and background of an altercation from an involved party is that it will be biased in favor of the party giving it. I'll bet the mom would have a different story to tell.
A little background on my Mother: she held one brief job when she was a about 20 years old, which was how she met my Dad, and she married him two years later. She was a stay-at-home Mom with the mentality of a child. She would throw tantrums and fight with me as if I were her sister rather than her daughter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia
That's a good point. I'm really curious if the OP told his mom in advance that they were going back to the store to demand a refund because the flowers were wrong, or if he simply said he needed to "stop by the florist" or said nothing at all.
And if he told her upfront what they were doing, I'm curious if she was on board with that or tried to object. If she went willingly with the OP to the store knowing he was going to demand a refund then she blew up at him afterwards, then she reacted wrong. But the OP didn't say anything about his mom changing her tune so I'm betting the mom was never ok with it. If she was blindsided or pushed into going then she oughta be upset.
Apparently, the mother in this story has been able to carry on with her life, even though several of us expressed skepticism about that, based on the OP's description of her. If the OP doesn't want to tell us about that, it's her choice. And it should be noted that several posters have assumed that the OP was a son, but actually was identified as a daughter in the first post.
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If Mom does not like confrontation I certainly would not have dragged her to the store. You ordered the flowers. If you felt you had been wronged I see no reason you could have not gone to the store by yourself and given the clerk a good piece of your mind.
