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Ever been in a cluster of people you knew, only to quietly remove yourself?
I was at a get-together, winding down after an extraordinarily rough week.. Saw some friends, said hello, engaged in some casual conversation. After a time they drifted off, talking with others. Okay, that's fine. But after a bit of time, I started to feel that I wasn't of them, but rather among them. I don't know what got me to feeling that way, but without a word to anyone, I just went out, got in my car, and left.
Incidentally, not one of them texted or called to ask where I was.
Very uncomfortable? Or selfishness on my part?
So what stopped you from driving off to talk to others? Sounds like you're trying to feel sorry for yourself by saying they ignored you. They didn't ignore you...the norm for a get together is to mingle and chat with everyone.
Why should they call or text you if you chose to leave on your own?
I don't think it was "selfish" at all; you read the social/behavioral cues and made a decision. That decision seemed to be right based on your mention of no contact from the others afterwards. I have been there too - I would guess everyone has - where my "part" in the group wasn't really seeming that essential anymore and I move on.
no one made the op feel unwanted other than the op.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
And how do you know this? Were you there??? Did you see what transpired???
Don't be so damn judgmental unless you were there to see what happened!
Sometimes both are true. I often feel excluded, and have to remind myself to look at it from the outside--were they really snubbing me, or is it my own insecurities or biases framing the situation like that. This makes it both the other people ignoring me (this happens all the time in social situations--we just don't notice it because we move on to other people/are able to follow the interactions/recognize subtle social clues/etc.) and for me to be the cause of my own discomfort (reading way to much into situations and letting previous, unconnected interactions color how I'm seeing the current situation).
In the end, it doesn't matter, because that is how you felt, and I think you did the right thing. But don't hold it against your friends, especially if this is a new development. Most likely, it was because you had a hard week.
I would check in with them--they might be confused or upset because they thought you left them in the cold.
You left in anger without saying goodbye. Pretty rude. I wouldn't go chasing after you either. Nor would I be inviting you to any other "get togethers."
I don't think its selfish, but a bit melodramatic and immature.
Say your goodbyes, head out. Or find a way to get in the conversation. Find another person on the outskirts and strike up a convo.
Slinking out and brooding over no one making contact with your sudden leaving is not mature.
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