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So my sister in-law has a boyfriend she's been dating for a couple years now. He has a 12 year old kid and she has a 10 year old. Both by previous marriages. He's been coming to the family functions since the beginning of their relationship. We are getting together for Christmas this Saturday at my in-laws. I received a text today from my sister in-law asking for all of us to give her boyfriends kid a small present such as cash or a gift card. She's asking this so he won't feel left out when we open gifts. There will be 3 other kids there as well, but all relatives. So my husband (her brother) says absolutely not! This is only our second time meeting this kid and we're not buying him anything. I see the SIL's point of not wanting him to feel left out, but I also see my husbands point that we don't even know this child. Thoughts? I could really use some advice here on what to do!! Buy a gift or not?
I feel like it's a kid and it's the holidays; now is not the time to be keeping score. Spending $10-20 on a little something so a kid doesn't feel left out in a room full of almost strangers is in the spirit of the season.
Does the child live in your sister-in-law's house now? If so he is part of her family now and I think it would be tasteless to give a gift to one child in the household but not the other. If he doesn't live with them I think it would be a nice gesture to get him something small. I don't know if I agree with your husband's bah-humbug attitude. There is nothing wrong with extending a small kindness to a child.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Technically your husband is right. BUT leaving the kid out of the gifts is just not a good look. Take a $20 out the ATM, give it to the kid, and don't be the Scrooge.
Last edited by The Dissenter; 12-14-2016 at 02:07 PM..
So I feel the same, we should get the kid a little something. The reason why my husband says no is because at Thanksgiving the child was there as well. He didn't say a word to anyone and just sat and played video games. Of course, he could have been scared not knowing anyone, so I get it! My husband leaned over to my SIL's boyfriend and asked what they were getting my niece this year for Christmas and he said "I'm not getting her anything, it's not my kid"! So you can now see where my husband is coming from! Nonetheless, I feel bad for this kid, but I don't want to argue with my husband over it either!
Your husband's sister reached out to him to specifically ask he include this child, it very well could be because she knows his feelings will be hurt or that he's even told her he feels left out.
There really isn't a way for your husband to deliberately not get a gift for one of the 4 children without looking like a petty jerk.
So what the kid didn't talk to him, the kids 12, maybe he picked up on the fact that your husband doesn't like him.
If you aren't broke a $20 in a card really isn't asking much. Sometimes you have to pick which hill is worth dying on and I don't think it's this one.
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