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With friends like that op, who need enemies. I believe you really liked this guy and really wanted him in your life as your best friend. Perhaps it made you felt good about yourself having a real cool best friend, or even a very good looking best friend. Perhaps you were trying to make him into the bud you always wanted, but nothing was there on his part, it just wasn't in him.
With friends like that op, who need enemies. I believe you really liked this guy and really wanted him in your life as your best friend. Perhaps it made you felt good about yourself having a real cool best friend, or even a very good looking best friend. Perhaps you were trying to make him into the bud you always wanted, but nothing was there on his part, it just wasn't in him.
I think I genuinely did want a friendship, and I don't think that was his interest however. But I guess the little glimpses of what I thought were genuine moments where I thought we were friends was just a front. Some people tend to pull you in, and push you back out whenever THEY feel like it. I guess I started to notice the cycle. I'm more vigilant now however, and from here on out I choose me.
Lessons learned. I do plan on taking him to small claims court to recuperate my losses. However with the car situation its just up in the air. I asked him to refinance it and put it in his name or something.
I think I genuinely did want a friendship, and I don't think that was his interest however. But I guess the little glimpses of what I thought were genuine moments where I thought we were friends was just a front. Some people tend to pull you in, and push you back out whenever THEY feel like it. I guess I started to notice the cycle. I'm more vigilant now however, and from here on out I choose me.
Lessons learned. I do plan on taking him to small claims court to recuperate my losses. However with the car situation its just up in the air. I asked him to refinance it and put it in his name or something.
Never co-sign a loan with anyone other than your spouse. Never. (With the maybe, possible exception of your own children.) What's done is done, but never do it again. In the meantime, do whatever you can to get yourself out of this one.
I had, and still have, a good friend who means well, but isn't always the most financially stable. He asked me to co-sign something once, and I refused. Backed it up by showing him that the Bible argues against co-signing. (The words it uses are "surety" and "guarantor of debt" and "pledges," but it's the same idea.) He wasn't happy about my answer, but he accepted it, and that was that.
People have bad credit for a reason, and it's usually because they can't or won't manage their money properly. Some of them will see a person with good credit and try to latch on to them, using the other person's good name and good credit to cover over their own irresponsibility. Don't let it happen to you.
If you are Christian, using the Bible to back yourself up and fortify your resolve can work well. If you're not . . . well, there's always "just say no."
This guy had proved time and time again that he was a user of the first degree. He screwed you over on the phone. He screwed you over the last time you leased with him - AND YET, you signed a lease at a new place with him AND co-signed for his car.
You were lucky they let you out of the lease last time. This time may prove different. Co-signing on a car that gets re-possessed WILL hurt your credit - possibly for a looooooong time.
You didn't "allow" this to happen to you - you actively participated in setting yourself up for trouble.
Chances are the car won't be re-possessed since the lender has him as a co-signer, they'll just attach his wages & make him pay for that guy's car. Damn shame. If I were him I'd take that guy to Judge Judy.
OP, why would you agree to get a place with him in the first place, just because your mom was moving away? Why not get your own place, especially recalling the earlier instance in your life when renting with him didn't work out? When he got that job while living at your mom's, I would have suggested he get his own place, since he could afford it.
To say nothing of co-signing on a car loan! Totally unnecessary! If he needed a car to get to work, he could get a perfectly good used Toyota or Honda for $2000, no loan necessary. So where does the car loan issue stand now? Now that he's avoiding you and you two are hardly in contact?
Best friend? OP, it sounds to me that he never was your best friend. You two "broke up" and moved out of your shared place, each going his own way, way back then, for a reason. The red flags were there, even back then.
You don't need "friends" like this. This is not what friendship is about.
Consider taking an assertiveness-training workshop, to learn to be firm and say "no", and mean it, without being overbearing or rude. Learn to heed that little voice inside that tries to tell you "this isn't a good idea", or "there's something wrong with this picture". That little voice can save you a lot of grief if you learn to tune in to it, and then to put your foot down.
He didn't have anywhere else to go, and needed a place to stay
...
we were once roommates before a few years before and it didn't end well
...
he was looking for a new car and needed a co-signer
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he failed to tell me that he wasn't working
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he just stopped doing that because he stated "he didn't feel like it"
...
I'm pretty much stuck paying the rent by myself
... It's as if he didn't think about how his actions affect me, only that he's okay
Chances are the car won't be re-possessed since the lender has him as a co-signer, they'll just attach his wages & make him pay for that guy's car. Damn shame. If I were him I'd take that guy to Judge Judy.
The car will be repossessed AND the OP will be on the hook for the money still owed on the loan.
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Totally unnecessary! If he needed a car to get to work, he could get a perfectly good used Toyota or Honda for $2000, no loan necessary. So where does the car loan issue stand now? Now that he's avoiding you and you two are hardly in contact?
