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... And I am not the only person in the history of the world to have that reaction.
Right. We all have. It's literally not a unique reaction, as I already stated here:
Quote:
Originally Posted by heavyweight
That website gets a bad wrap...It's just fun for most of us to joke about CL being disgusting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nonchalance
Do you by any chance own stock in CL?
CL isn't a publicly traded company.
What I'm doing, is staying on topic and trying to be helpful. The OP asked for *suggestions* and I actually made one. You made none. You simply told us you think CL is gross while confirming you never tried to use CL to make a human connection. Thus, your experience isn't terribly relevant to the topic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat
Yes, I know what you mean. Even in the "platonic" section most of the ads seemed to be suggesting something other than just-friends. I needed a decoder ring.
It's quite likely that the quality of CL varies from city to city and that it is as good or as bad as people report.
Agreed, your mileage may vary. No different than a dating app. The quality of young professional educated outdoorsy people is going to be higher in, say, Seattle WA than it would in Tupelo MS. Yet, if your interests are target practice and line dancing, Tupelo might be your ideal spot to find late twenty-something friends.
Point is, CL is a tool that's underrated because most folks dismiss it due to reputation or surface glance, as posters attested to on this thread.
I'm also beta-testing a free (for now) friendship app. Similar to Tinder in that you swipe right/left. You are alerted to matches and you can message someone even if they haven't matched you yet. Anyone making romantic overtures gets banned.
I can't personally recommend it because I haven't had success with it yet. I recently signed up and haven't met any of my matches in person due to holidays/travel etc. I would caution that it isn't worth your time in beta if you're in a smaller city. Anyone can PM for more info.
I would say to the OP to try meetups, check his local paper for interesting events, or even Adult Ed classes rather than CL.
Just out of curiosity, I returned to CL, and looked in the 'Relationships' section. There are several boxes you can tick to eliminate categories. The only one I left on was 'Platonic.' The category that was suggested to the OP.
I'm in my late 20s, several years out of college and settled into a job. I have never been the very outgoing type. When I started college I started to finally make a few friends that I could meet up with outside of school. As time went on, they began to be in my life less often because of circumstances but I tried to make sure that we still met up at least once a week or at least two or three times a month. As I got older and settled into a career they helped me with the stress of that. Over the last year or two though, I think we started to drift apart. I noticed the last few times that we met up, they had started to have different interests and we didn't have the bond we once had. My friends stopped hanging out together too which killed socializing with a group. I also have been going through some personal struggles and haven't at times felt like meeting up because I was in a gloomy or negative mood, that I didn't want to put on them.
So over the last 6 months or more, we haven't met up at all. I was asked to meet up a couple of times but I just didn't know if it was a good idea. I decided over the last couple months to try to meet up again, but whenever I ask, they are out of town doing something, which they really are, they aren't making excuses. But I feel deep down that we have grown apart and the friendship has run its course.
Being that I'm the age I am and the point of life I'm at, I don't have a clue where to meet people any more. College and school are the easiest places if you are in the general age group of most students. But after you start a career and people are getting settled and having children, the opportunities just aren't there.
I have tried volunteering and all that but I just find most people there aren't doing it to meet others or they don't want to have any sort of friendship outside of there. Or otherwise they have their own groups of insiders.
I'm also not the type to socialize with coworkers. We will go out to lunch once in a while, but I don't want it to go further than that. I don't fit well, and some seem to be reserved as well.
I have tried getting out and about on the weekends to try to be around people and not be a hermit. But it doesn't help me socially because you can't meet potential friends when shopping or dining out. Or at least I can't. People don't go to those places to make friends, I don't think.
Honestly most of the time I don't mind being alone but there are times I'd like to have someone to go to dinner with or watch a movie or just talk to. I don't feel right going to a nice restaurant or movie alone. I suppose I could do a movie alone but just sitting at a table alone at a restaurant seems foreign to me. I could just eat at home. I also miss going on trips with others, if I want to go anywhere now, I have to go alone. At times it is nice to get away, but it does get lonely. There's not even anyone now that I feel I could just call up and have a conversation with. They'll either be busy or I feel I just can't any more.
It's been especially noticeable at the holidays.
Anyone have ideas on this or been in a similar situation?
One bit of advice I can give you is... Don't be afraid to go to a restaurant by yourself. Just make sure you sit in the bar area and not at a table. I always see single people in situations like that, and you won't be out of place.
One bit of advice I can give you is... Don't be afraid to go to a restaurant by yourself. Just make sure you sit in the bar area and not at a table. I always see single people in situations like that, and you won't be out of place.
Good luck.
It is also easy to make small talk at the bar.
But sometimes it is better to have a table. Don't be afraid. Start with lunch or breakfast.
Thanks for the advice. I have looked on meetup.com and Craigslist and they don't have anything around my area listed.
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