The problem of women saying they don't like having lots of girlfriends. (children, brother)
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How about sticking together in regards to helping and supporting other women in areas where women are sorely needed such as business, politics, academia etc. We still live in a male-dominated system of patriarchy, we need to come together and support each other instead of tearing each other down. Think about it: When women get into it with each other whether it be physically or mentally it can be over something serious yet men just laugh it off as "cat fights". All the while we have women for all intents and purposes siding with the enemy not trying to be viewed as one of "those women". If women could compete on a far more fair and equal basis you wouldn't see women putting each other down like we do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Staphangel
It's great seeing that I am getting some support. The sad thing is the women here saying "I just have more guy friends" in reality have their own internalized misogyny that makes them not be good friends with other women. We need to come together and combat the patriarchy which causes just this sort of thing. Instead of siding with your sisters women think it's safer and easier to side with theenemy, they are no better than collaborators in any other war.
What was somewhat muted in the original post emerges with forceful clarity in these two subsequent posts (see the bolded). Anyone who professes to see half of humanity as the "enemy" is showing an abject failure as a human being. Hatred has somehow taken over. Pathetic.
Life is not a "war" between one half of humanity and the other half.
Really! "The enemy"? I wouldn't vote for someone for president just because I'm a woman and she's a woman (I would hope no thinking person would), and I won't befriend someone just because I'm a woman and she's a woman. You either share interests and click or you don't.
Staphangel .... although I understand your position I hope that you will rethink it. You are not wrong about patriarchy and the fact that men have been predominately in a one-up position, but that has changed and continues to change and a lot of that is due to men.
Should every black person in America see every white person as the enemy because of the history of oppression? Not that they don't have good reason, but many white people fought for the rights of black people. What about those white people?
It's not a good idea to tar everyone with the same brush. We can recognize inequality without denouncing an entire sector of the population because of it. Not because it's safe or politically correct, but simply because it's not an accurate or effective way of dealing.
Look, I consider myself a feminist, but my definition of feminism doesn't include denigrating men or seeing them as the enemy. We need men to help us fight the fight against inequality and they can be tremendous allies. My male friendships have been invaluable because they help give me a different perspective on things and they help me to better understand the opposite sex and my romantic relationships. Male friendships don't mean that I hate women, that I think that women are second-class citizens, or that we are aching for male attention. I have more male friends that support women's equality and their right to autonomy over their own bodies than I have women friends that feel the same way. I have a hard time trusting people that don't see the value of their interactions with the opposite sex outside the realm of romantic relationships.
It's great seeing that I am getting some support. The sad thing is the women here saying "I just have more guy friends" in reality have their own internalized misogyny that makes them not be good friends with other women. We need to come together and combat the patriarchy which causes just this sort of thing. Instead of siding with your sisters women think it's safer and easier to side with the enemy, they are no better than collaborators in any other war.
It's great seeing that I am getting some support. The sad thing is the women here saying "I just have more guy friends" in reality have their own internalized misogyny that makes them not be good friends with other women. We need to come together and combat the patriarchy which causes just this sort of thing. Instead of siding with your sisters women think it's safer and easier to side with the enemy, they are no better than collaborators in any other war.
I apologize if this is not the right forum to say this, but it is something that I and I am sure many others have noticed. Namely women that say "I don't really have a lot of girlfriends because I don't get along with other women" "I am not like other girls (as if other girls are somehow "bad")" "I have lots more guy friends than girlfriends" etc. etc. ad nauseum.
It's really sad. For one most do it just to look "cool" for guys, then internalize it and blow off other women even though they could be great friends! It's fine to have guys as friends, but as a general rule it works better if the friends women have are more women than men, to me if I meet a woman that says any of the above or has more guy friends I don't trust her.
Not to get political, but we live in an age where women more than ever should be helping and supporting each other, we should always support other women and come together in sisterhood. Yet it's really sad how so many feel it's a kind of badge of honor to say "I'm not like other girls/women". Anyone else feel the same?
We can't help it if women are often catty and competitive with one another even with friends. We can't help it that we can discuss things other than hair and make-up and the latest kind of bra or spanx or whatever with men and not many women.
I've never in my life thought it made me 'cool' to hang out with the boys/men it just worked out that way. Now I do have more female friends and honestly it's exhausting. You have to say 200 words when 10 will do.
I'm in the middle of all this DRAMA right now with the LADIES of my complex and I just can't. I can talk to the (male) manager and have a normal, fact-based discussion. I can talk to the (male) head of maintenance and have a normal, fact-based discussion.
When I get to the other LADIES we have to go around and around and around on ever topic and you know so and so said this and that? omfg can we discuss the issue at hand, make a plan, and then let me go so you can talk about he said/she said the rest of the day? ugh.
Even the woman who is supposedly my good friend turned on me out of the blue the other day. It left my jaw hanging open.
4 years we've been friends. 4 years she knows I am on her side regarding politics of our HOA. She knows I am friendly with some people 'on the other side' but she knows I don't agree with them on this issue. Suddenly I'm simply describing some FACTS about an HOA job that wasn't done right. No complaints, just FACTS leading up to the current status and SOLUTION is all I care about suddenly she loses it feeling that I am criticisng the manager who she is loyal to like he's her first born.
It doesn't make any sense. You can say to most men I'm not blaming so and so I am just after a solution and they are ON-BOARD with solution-mined convos.
A number of women just get tired of the cattiness, gossipy and backstabbing that can come from having "female friendships" Oh did I mention the constant comparisons, jealousy of what the other has, etc. Women can learn alot from male friendships.
Seriously. Including in romantic stations. I have a strong personality so men tended to bend to my will pretty much. But of course who did I really fall for? One who is also strong. When he got upset, he'd walk away, which I thought was pretty effing rude. But it was effective. He didn't want to fight or drag it on. He wanted to deal with being upset and get over it.
Not everything gains from talking and talking and talking. If he made a mistake that hurt me he was genuinely sorry but wasn't going to get punished forever for it - he didn't punish me. He forgave me and got over it, so I learned to do the same.
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