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And as I'm the son of a preacher man, he's qualified to give them. Anyway:
Apparently because I've spent the last three and a bit years reinventing myself and establishing my own place in the world since my mother died (parents of disabled children are very protective- don't ask), it's now time to 'expand and enrich your world by inviting someone into it.'
Er, no. I own my own home, I'm studying again after a long hiatus, I'm working towards some goals that will set me up for the long term and I'm finally in a position where I have absolute control of my own destiny. Why would I compromise and complicate all that by making room for a relationship I have no time for or interest in?
I'm forty. If I was ever going to couple up, I would have tried harder to achieve it by now. I don't see any value in that kind of life, and while I begrudge no-one their 'happily ever after' if that's what they want, I have other things to do and focus on. Father Of Mine has other ideas for his decisively uninvolved and deliberately unmarried son and he won't take no for answer.
The lady in question is someone I consider a friend, although we're not as close as he would like, and someone I've been out with a handful of times socially with no romantic intentions. The first dinner we shared confirmed that, while we enjoy each other's company, neither of us have any plans to take things further.
I made the mistake of mentioning these occasional friendly catch-ups to my Dad, and he's had us practically engaged from day one. As I mentioned in another thread, he even suggested I hold off on buying a new bed 'until ____ moves in', then you can choose something together.' Riiiigggghhht...
The old man lives out of state, and his ideal daughter in law has joined us for dinner on a number of occasions, including my birthday, while he's been over here visiting me. I know for a fact she does this to humour him and as a favour to me because she's a thoroughly decent person, but he will insist on reading more into the 'relationship' than there is. Any attempt to dissuade him leads to a telling off because I'm not trying hard enough or running away .
I put up with more of this than I should because Dad and I have only been in regular contact and come to know and trust each each other since my Mum died. He never really had the chance to be a parent or have much involvement in my life until then, but I wish he'd leave this alone. I am not good at setting boundaries, especially with my own flesh and blood. How can I get him to drop it?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76
And as I'm the son of a preacher man, he's qualified to give them. Anyway:
Apparently because I've spent the last three and a bit years reinventing myself and establishing my own place in the world since my mother died (parents of disabled children are very protective- don't ask), it's now time to 'expand and enrich your world by inviting someone into it.'
Er, no. I own my own home, I'm studying again after a long hiatus, I'm working towards some goals that will set me up for the long term and I'm finally in a position where I have absolute control of my own destiny. Why would I compromise and complicate all that by making room for a relationship I have no time for or interest in?
I'm forty. If I was ever going to couple up, I would have tried harder to achieve it by now. I don't see any value in that kind of life, and while I begrudge no-one their 'happily ever after' if that's what they want, I have other things to do. Father Of Mine has other ideas for his decisively uninvolved and deliberately unmarried son and he won't take no for answer.
The lady in question is someone I consider a friend, although we're not as close as he would like, and someone I've been out with a handful of times socially with no romantic intentions. The first dinner we shared confirmed that, while we enjoy each other's company, neither of us have any plans to take things further.
I made the mistake of mentioning these occasional friendly catch-ups to my Dad, and he's had us practically engaged from day one. As I mentioned in another thread, he even suggested I hold off on buying a new bed 'until ____ moves in', then you can choose something together.' Riiiigggghhht...
The old man lives out of state, and his ideal daughter in law has joined us for dinner on a number of occasions, including my birthday, while he's been over here visiting me. I know for a fact she does this to humour him and as a favour to me because she's a thoroughly decent person, but he will insist on reading more into the 'relationship' than there is. Any attempt to dissuade him leads to a telling off because I'm not trying hard enough or running away .
I put up with more of this than I should because Dad and I have only been in regular contact and come to know and trust each each other in the three years since my Mum died. He never really had the chance to be a parent or have much involvement in my life until then, but I wish he'd leave this alone. I am not good at setting boundaries, especially with my own flesh and blood. How can I get him to drop it?
"Enrich your world my inviting someone into it." I've heard some stupid lines from my parents on the subject of dating but that takes the cake.
I think you'll just have to be blunt and say my dating life is off limits. Of course, this could always lead to a worse argument (it does when I say it to my mother) but you have to draw a line in the sand.
And as I'm the son of a preacher man, he's qualified to give them. Anyway:
Apparently because I've spent the last three and a bit years reinventing myself and establishing my own place in the world since my mother died (parents of disabled children are very protective- don't ask), it's now time to 'expand and enrich your world by inviting someone into it.'
Er, no. I own my own home, I'm studying again after a long hiatus, I'm working towards some goals that will set me up for the long term and I'm finally in a position where I have absolute control of my own destiny. Why would I compromise and complicate all that by making room for a relationship I have no time for or interest in?
I'm forty. If I was ever going to couple up, I would have tried harder to achieve it by now. I don't see any value in that kind of life, and while I begrudge no-one their 'happily ever after' if that's what they want, I have other things to do and focus on. Father Of Mine has other ideas for his decisively uninvolved and deliberately unmarried son and he won't take no for answer.
The lady in question is someone I consider a friend, although we're not as close as he would like, and someone I've been out with a handful of times socially with no romantic intentions. The first dinner we shared confirmed that, while we enjoy each other's company, neither of us have any plans to take things further.
I made the mistake of mentioning these occasional friendly catch-ups to my Dad, and he's had us practically engaged from day one. As I mentioned in another thread, he even suggested I hold off on buying a new bed 'until ____ moves in', then you can choose something together.' Riiiigggghhht...
The old man lives out of state, and his ideal daughter in law has joined us for dinner on a number of occasions, including my birthday, while he's been over here visiting me. I know for a fact she does this to humour him and as a favour to me because she's a thoroughly decent person, but he will insist on reading more into the 'relationship' than there is. Any attempt to dissuade him leads to a telling off because I'm not trying hard enough or running away .
I put up with more of this than I should because Dad and I have only been in regular contact and come to know and trust each each other since my Mum died. He never really had the chance to be a parent or have much involvement in my life until then, but I wish he'd leave this alone. I am not good at setting boundaries, especially with my own flesh and blood. How can I get him to drop it?
That was an unexpected question after all you wrote.
Just quit talking about her and dont invite her when he is around.
There has to be a tactful way to tell him to mind his own business. Or tell the most disgustingly salacious stories about your personal life to make him sorry that he ever broached the subject
And as I'm the son of a preacher man, he's qualified to give them. Anyway:
Apparently because I've spent the last three and a bit years reinventing myself and establishing my own place in the world since my mother died (parents of disabled children are very protective- don't ask), it's now time to 'expand and enrich your world by inviting someone into it.'
Er, no. I own my own home, I'm studying again after a long hiatus, I'm working towards some goals that will set me up for the long term and I'm finally in a position where I have absolute control of my own destiny. Why would I compromise and complicate all that by making room for a relationship I have no time for or interest in?
I'm forty. If I was ever going to couple up, I would have tried harder to achieve it by now. I don't see any value in that kind of life, and while I begrudge no-one their 'happily ever after' if that's what they want, I have other things to do and focus on. Father Of Mine has other ideas for his decisively uninvolved and deliberately unmarried son and he won't take no for answer.
The lady in question is someone I consider a friend, although we're not as close as he would like, and someone I've been out with a handful of times socially with no romantic intentions. The first dinner we shared confirmed that, while we enjoy each other's company, neither of us have any plans to take things further.
I made the mistake of mentioning these occasional friendly catch-ups to my Dad, and he's had us practically engaged from day one. As I mentioned in another thread, he even suggested I hold off on buying a new bed 'until ____ moves in', then you can choose something together.' Riiiigggghhht...
The old man lives out of state, and his ideal daughter in law has joined us for dinner on a number of occasions, including my birthday, while he's been over here visiting me. I know for a fact she does this to humour him and as a favour to me because she's a thoroughly decent person, but he will insist on reading more into the 'relationship' than there is. Any attempt to dissuade him leads to a telling off because I'm not trying hard enough or running away .
I put up with more of this than I should because Dad and I have only been in regular contact and come to know and trust each each other since my Mum died. He never really had the chance to be a parent or have much involvement in my life until then, but I wish he'd leave this alone. I am not good at setting boundaries, especially with my own flesh and blood. How can I get him to drop it?
Tell him you will never have kids and there will be no grandkids in his future. Tell him you don't want to co-mingle assets and liabilities with another human being. Tell him you are part of the Marriage Strike.
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