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So, I have an acquaintance who I've known for 9 months, here at university. We met each other at a society and we hit it off from there.
It started off that he invited me out for coffee a few times, then he stopped that so I invited him. We've been out for coffee and a few meals umpteen different times. Which is fine, except he doesn't iniate contact with me outside the groups or outside the coffee/meals.
It's always me messaging him and inviting him. Never do I hear from him. We last went for lunch about two weeks ago, and I haven't heard from him since.
I am getting the impression that by not contacting me he is giving hints that he isn't interested in friendship? I'm kind of getting tired of always being the one to initiate things. I get the impression, that I wouldn't hear anything from him for weeks if I didn't initiate contact.
In anycase, any friendship I have has always been met with a constant back and forth dialogue, I don't have that with this "friendship" and to me that is a little odd.
I'm totally confused? If he doesn't want to be bothered, why does he keep meeting up? Should I stop bothering with him altogether and move on?
Aren't multiple invitations to meet up enough of an indication of my intentions? Do you not think that he should be returning the invite, at least once?
Last edited by GymFanatic; 05-20-2017 at 07:37 PM..
So, I have an acquaintance who I've known for 9 months, here at university. We met each other at a society and we hit it off from there.
It started off that he invited me out for coffee a few times, then he stopped that so I invited him. We've been out for coffee and a few meals umpteen different times. Which is fine, except he doesn't iniate contact with me outside the groups or outside the coffee/meals.
It's always me messaging him and inviting him. Never do I hear from him. We last went for lunch about two weeks ago, and I haven't heard from him since.
I am getting the impression that by not contacting me he is giving hints that he isn't interested in friendship? I'm kind of getting tired of always being the one to initiate things. I get the impression, that I wouldn't hear anything from him for weeks if I didn't initiate contact.
In anycase, any friendship I have has always been met with a constant back and forth dialogue, I don't have that with this "friendship" and to me that is a little odd.
I'm totally confused? If he doesn't want to be bothered, why does he keep meeting up? Should I stop bothering with him altogether and move on?
There you go then mate that's what most people's definition of what a friendship is and it's clearly its not the case here so that's your answer.
The reason why he does still meet you I'd guess is because it's when he doesn't have much else on so you're in reserve sort of thing.
Out of interest have you voiced your concerns to him about this at all?
He probably has other friends that he also spends time with. Try to make some more friends yourself so you aren't so dependent on him for companionship.
There you go then mate that's what most people's definition of what a friendship is and it's clearly its not the case here so that's your answer.
The reason why he does still meet you I'd guess is because it's when he doesn't have much else on so you're in reserve sort of thing.
Out of interest have you voiced your concerns to him about this at all?
I've been thinking about it. I don't want to rock the boat so to speak.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint
He probably has other friends that he also spends time with. Try to make some more friends yourself so you aren't so dependent on him for companionship.
He does, but he also spends a lot of time studying in doors or relaxing, so free time for him is a plenty.
I've been thinking about it. I don't want to rock the boat so to speak.
I understand that but what's the alternative?
You carry on as you are and still feel unsure of yourself and uncertain of whether it is indeed a friendship or not or voicing your concerns and knowing what's what?
He has ADD. I don't know how that might manifest itself? I don't want to annoy him but I would like to get to the bottom of this for my own peace of mind.
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