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Old 06-21-2017, 03:25 PM
 
4,994 posts, read 5,314,082 times
Reputation: 15763

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Quote:
Originally Posted by adventuregurl View Post
If you can, why not mail a pre-loaded visa credit card anonymously. That way he can use it for anything he needs.
Read some reviews on the pre-loaded Visa's. I don't think they work very well. If you want a gift card, do something like a Wal-Mart or a local grocery store.

If he won't accept money, show up with some bags of food or maybe even cooked meals if you cook. I've given money before, but only to my siblings. I sometimes will give restaurant cards to help out, but that may make your friend feel worse because he may feel the money could be put to better use.
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Old 06-21-2017, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,244,089 times
Reputation: 50807
I've given money before to someone who I thought needed it, even though she did not ask. This was years ago. I found a way to do so through another person who kept our names confidential. I think if the OP wants to, he or she can find a way to do this. Think of whatever you give as a gift, not a loan.

I think we have to help our friends out once in a while if we can. It is a great luxury to be able to give money to someone we care about when he or she needs our help.
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Old 06-21-2017, 04:37 PM
 
Location: OHIO
2,575 posts, read 2,086,664 times
Reputation: 5967
I've been that person actually.
I don't want to inconvenience anybody and I don't want to owe anybody. The second someone lends me even 20 bucks for food or gas, that's the second I start to panic and stress about when I can pay them back (even if they don't want it back). Will I have enough to pay them back next check? Can I split it up and pay them back in two checks? etc. I would live on very minimal food to avoid this happening.

But reverse the roles, I would totally help a friend out. I have helped friends out. If they need it and I can help, I will do anything I can. Maybe find a way to do and keep it confidential on who it's from. Or just bring over a few prepped meals for the week. Say you are trying this new meal prepping idea and made too much. Ask if they like whatever it is (make stuff you know they like) and just say you don't want it to go to waste.
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Old 06-21-2017, 05:05 PM
 
1,479 posts, read 1,313,766 times
Reputation: 5383
If this person doesn't like accepting help, do you have any yard work or something he can help you with? You can tell him that you would rather pay him then someone you don't know.
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Old 06-21-2017, 05:22 PM
 
10,505 posts, read 7,078,635 times
Reputation: 32348
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24 View Post
Say you knew someone, a friend or close acquaintance. He works steady, pays his bills, shows responsibility.
Say this person one time - and one time only - falls on a hard time. He pays his rent, bills, etc. but due to a circumstance, has no money left for food and/or other small expenses. You discover this somehow, but when you bring it up, he laughs it off and abruptly changes the subject. Only says "I'm good, I'm good!" but you can see that he's struggling.

He doesn't want to, but you know he needs help. Have you ever been in such situation?
I've been on the opposite side. I was just out of college, worked two jobs, had my own place and had my life budgeted down to the last nickel. My parents were annoyed that I moved out so quickly after graduation, but I just needed my space after living at home during school. My father predicted that I'd be hitting him up for cash every month.

So three months later, the bushings go out on my Chevette. Man, I hated that car. Wasn't even paid for yet, but the warranty had already expired. It was something like $250 to get it fixed, which sucked up what small savings I had with a week to go before payday. I had literally ten bucks left in my checking account. I bought a pack of baloney on sale, white bread that was like sawdust, cheap cannister of drink mix, and walked the 3/4ths of a mile to work every day. But I wasn't going to ask anyone for a dime.
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Old 06-21-2017, 05:31 PM
 
2,163 posts, read 1,555,551 times
Reputation: 6027
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
I've been on the opposite side. I was just out of college, worked two jobs, had my own place and had my life budgeted down to the last nickel. My parents were annoyed that I moved out so quickly after graduation, but I just needed my space after living at home during school. My father predicted that I'd be hitting him up for cash every month.

So three months later, the bushings go out on my Chevette. Man, I hated that car. Wasn't even paid for yet, but the warranty had already expired. It was something like $250 to get it fixed, which sucked up what small savings I had with a week to go before payday. I had literally ten bucks left in my checking account. I bought a pack of baloney on sale, white bread that was like sawdust, cheap cannister of drink mix, and walked the 3/4ths of a mile to work every day. But I wasn't going to ask anyone for a dime.
Great job proving him wrong. Many of us have been there, and it feels great once things get rolling again and you can look back and say to yourself, 'I got past that on my own'.
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Old 06-21-2017, 05:36 PM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,268,522 times
Reputation: 22686
Quote:
Originally Posted by crd08 View Post
I've been that person actually.
I don't want to inconvenience anybody and I don't want to owe anybody. The second someone lends me even 20 bucks for food or gas, that's the second I start to panic and stress about when I can pay them back (even if they don't want it back). Will I have enough to pay them back next check? Can I split it up and pay them back in two checks? etc. I would live on very minimal food to avoid this happening.

But reverse the roles, I would totally help a friend out. I have helped friends out. If they need it and I can help, I will do anything I can. Maybe find a way to do and keep it confidential on who it's from. Or just bring over a few prepped meals for the week. Say you are trying this new meal prepping idea and made too much. Ask if they like whatever it is (make stuff you know they like) and just say you don't want it to go to waste.
You sound like a good person.
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Old 06-21-2017, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,219,289 times
Reputation: 51126
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
I've been on the opposite side. I was just out of college, worked two jobs, had my own place and had my life budgeted down to the last nickel. My parents were annoyed that I moved out so quickly after graduation, but I just needed my space after living at home during school. My father predicted that I'd be hitting him up for cash every month.

So three months later, the bushings go out on my Chevette. Man, I hated that car. Wasn't even paid for yet, but the warranty had already expired. It was something like $250 to get it fixed, which sucked up what small savings I had with a week to go before payday. I had literally ten bucks left in my checking account. I bought a pack of baloney on sale, white bread that was like sawdust, cheap cannister of drink mix, and walked the 3/4ths of a mile to work every day. But I wasn't going to ask anyone for a dime.
Great story.

It reminded me of when Hubby and I were in graduate school and all we had to eat for two weeks was a sack of potatoes and a few cans of odds & ends in our cupboard. But, we survived and it made us stronger people.

Now, saying that. I still think that the OP should find a way to help out his friend.
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Old 06-21-2017, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Traveling
7,062 posts, read 6,328,983 times
Reputation: 14771
I helped out a friend but it was because she needed help with something her daughter was going through. She's paying me back as she can but still feels guilty for asking. I just told her I love her daughter too & it made me feel good that I could help.
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Old 06-21-2017, 07:19 PM
 
3,670 posts, read 7,173,887 times
Reputation: 4269
Quote:
Originally Posted by tottsieanna View Post
If this person doesn't like accepting help, do you have any yard work or something he can help you with? You can tell him that you would rather pay him then someone you don't know.
Yea this is what I was thinking. I am usually wary of accepting cash from others, i don't want to feel like I owe them something.
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