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That is absolutely not true. Didn't work for me in a small city, nor a big city like Atlanta. Its a nerd herd. Stay away from it! Join a sports league or take a class.
Meetup is always given as quick fix. In reality as you said in a large city it's going to very difficult. A Meetup group in a large city could have several hundred members. So going to 3 or 4 events for the same group could mean you don't ever see the same people.
A sports league or a class where you see the same people in a smaller group is a much better way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
Great advice. I agree. Its really hard. You will have to work at it much more than you would have, say 20 years ago. People no longer value friendships like they once did. Having said that, again, there are worse places to relocate to, such as where I moved. Difficult decision for sure.
Thank you, it is much harder. Which is something you have to keep in mind. OP doesn't mention anything about work, I always found it better to keep work and social life separate.
Sometimes the move you don't make is the best move.
Austin? Great city but waaay too many people live there. Our friends there told us that several hundred people move there every MONTH. The highways have overpasses up to 6 stacked above each other. The place is insane.
Austin? Great city but waaay too many people live there. Our friends there told us that several hundred people move there every MONTH. The highways have overpasses up to 6 stacked above each other. The place is insane.
Which means there are hundreds of people in the OP's position.
My wife and I moved to San Diego from the East Coast when I was in my 30s and she was in her 20s. We made a tons of friends out here, and zero of them are from work (in both cases). Somebody brought up athletics - - out here in San Diego, there are tons of ways of joining intramural teams that are all about meeting people. You don't even have to be an athlete - - one of the ones available here is kickball. You'll have to be proactive, but as long as you have some personality and the will to put yourself out there, in a city like Austin, you'll have no trouble meeting new people.
Most women in their 40's do not participate in sports teams/leagues. (bowling or curling, yes. Maybe badminton) Some who are runners would, but not the majority. I would wager that the majority of women in their 30's also do not do sports teams/leagues. Yes, there are good number who do - but a large portion of women are not athletic nor into kickball, touch football, softball, etc - and in one's 40's, it would be an exception. (don't know about the OP)
I think the majority of people who spout off recommending Meetup.com have never tried it! It's a glib suggestion.
Also this weekend pertaining to volunteering, one person on CD glibly said 'visit a rest home', as if just anyone off the street can walk into a nursing home or assisted living facility, sit down, and start talking to people (or would even want to) and as if everyone has the ability to walk into a facility and effectively talk with older people comfortably.
Last edited by matisse12; 07-04-2017 at 11:30 PM..
Which means there are hundreds of people in the OP's position.
My wife and I moved to San Diego from the East Coast when I was in my 30s and she was in her 20s. We made a tons of friends out here, and zero of them are from work (in both cases). Somebody brought up athletics - - out here in San Diego, there are tons of ways of joining intramural teams that are all about meeting people. You don't even have to be an athlete - - one of the ones available here is kickball. You'll have to be proactive, but as long as you have some personality and the will to put yourself out there, in a city like Austin, you'll have no trouble meeting new people.
Great, I moved to LA and still reside there in my mid 20s, over 25 years ago. Times have changed, the OP is in their 40s and seems to be single. Not exactly the same.
You also moved as a couple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12
Most women in their 40's do not participate in sports teams/leagues. (bowling or curling, yes. Maybe badminton) Some who are runners would, but not the majority. I would wager that the majority of women in their 30's also do not do sports teams/leagues. Yes, there are good number who do - but a large portion of women are not athletic nor into kickball, touch football, softball, etc - and in one's 40's, it would be an exception. (don't know about the OP)
I think the majority of people who spout off recommending Meetup.com have never tried it! It's a glib suggestion. This weekend one person on CD glibly said 'visit a rest home', as if just anyone off the street can walk into a nursing home or assisted living facility, sit down, and start talking to people, and as if everyone has the ability to walk into a facility and effectively talk with older people comfortably.
It's a very glib suggestion. Like telling someone to "just move" if they have a problem with a neighbor. No real thought or solution given.
Very good point, some on here are using their stories about how easy it was when they did it at much younger age than the OP. Even when I moved to CA it took a few years to make friends, and it was back when everyone wasn't walking around staring down at phones. As we get older time moves quicker and we have less of it to waste.
Personally I think it's not too good of an idea at that age to move somewhere you don't know a soul. Could be different if you at least knew one or two people well enough who would include you, and introduce you to others.
Great, I moved to LA and still reside there in my mid 20s, over 25 years ago. Times have changed, the OP is in their 40s and seems to be single. Not exactly the same.
You also moved as a couple.
I moved at 35 in 2005. Nothing has happened in twelve years that has changed being able to meet people, and the difference between 35 and being in your 40s is negligible. Anyone arguing otherwise is a defeatist. If anything, it's much easier to meet people today because of technology with different websites and aps dedicated to such situations.
I moved at 35 in 2005. Nothing has happened in twelve years that has changed being able to meet people, and the difference between 35 and being in your 40s is negligible. Anyone arguing otherwise is a defeatist. If anything, it's much easier to meet people today because of technology with different websites and aps dedicated to such situations.
Meeting people online isn't meeting people. I know a few people who go on dating sites and talk online, when I ask how come you don't meet in person(when they live a few miles apart) they act like that is a strange thing to do.
Many today are so "connected" that they're "disconnected". Not everyone but many. Just go to your local Starbucks, the ones sitting there with their laptops and earbuds in, not someone you're going to start a conversation with.
San Diego for example is a more transient place, you have the Navy people and families coming and going, people come from all over. That makes it easier than other places. LA tends to be the same. When you find you're surronded by more transplants than natives, you're all kind of in the same boat.
IDK about Austin, TX but I had my own experience of moving to Portland from LA for two years over a decade ago. It's not the people weren't polite, they were and could be cordial, but you were an outsider and being from CA was not a plus.....LOL.
I suggested the OP think long and hard about this. I know a few people who left CA for TX, and couple of them came back. One can't now as they can't afford to do so.
Again, it's not always easy to "undo" once you discover you made a mistake.
The OP if they haven't should take a few visits to Austin(and during the hot/humid months) and oberve the people, is this a place I see myself living.
I moved at 35 in 2005. Nothing has happened in twelve years that has changed being able to meet people, and the difference between 35 and being in your 40s is negligible. Anyone arguing otherwise is a defeatist. If anything, it's much easier to meet people today because of technology with different websites and aps dedicated to such situations.
Well good for you. Maybe you're an extrovert or live in an exceptional city. Yours is the the exception to the rule. Apps give people ADD and they don't talk to people anymore. Technology has definitely made things worse IMO.
Meeting people online isn't meeting people. I know a few people who go on dating sites and talk online, when I ask how come you don't meet in person(when they live a few miles apart) they act like that is a strange thing to do.
Many today are so "connected" that they're "disconnected". Not everyone but many. Just go to your local Starbucks, the ones sitting there with their laptops and earbuds in, not someone you're going to start a conversation with.
San Diego for example is a more transient place, you have the Navy people and families coming and going, people come from all over. That makes it easier than other places. LA tends to be the same. When you find you're surronded by more transplants than natives, you're all kind of in the same boat.
IDK about Austin, TX but I had my own experience of moving to Portland from LA for two years over a decade ago. It's not the people weren't polite, they were and could be cordial, but you were an outsider and being from CA was not a plus.....LOL.
I suggested the OP think long and hard about this. I know a few people who left CA for TX, and couple of them came back. One can't now as they can't afford to do so.
Again, it's not always easy to "undo" once you discover you made a mistake.
The OP if they haven't should take a few visits to Austin(and during the hot/humid months) and oberve the people, is this a place I see myself living.
Well said. For me, moving to Oklahoma City was a huge mistake for my personal life. Professionally, I had to do it, but my gosh, I couldn't think of a worse city for a middle aged guy not knowing anyone. I'm trying to undo this mistake and get back to Atlanta, but after looking for 18 months, I'm still looking. Not easy at all and life is passing me by.
Great, I moved to LA and still reside there in my mid 20s, over 25 years ago. Times have changed, the OP is in their 40s and seems to be single. Not exactly the same.
You also moved as a couple.
It's a very glib suggestion. Like telling someone to "just move" if they have a problem with a neighbor. No real thought or solution given.
Very good point, some on here are using their stories about how easy it was when they did it at much younger age than the OP. Even when I moved to CA it took a few years to make friends, and it was back when everyone wasn't walking around staring down at phones. As we get older time moves quicker and we have less of it to waste.
Personally I think it's not too good of an idea at that age to move somewhere you don't know a soul. Could be different if you at least knew one or two people well enough who would include you, and introduce you to others.
I've tried meetup and had luck when I moved to a new city. It's just a matter of finding the right group. I tried several groups that were awful, but there were a few groups that were wonderful and had a good core set of people in there. I'm in my 40s and many people I met in the meetup groups were a variety of ages.
It isn't necessarily the right choice for every city, and you need to try a variety of activities in each city. In a smaller city, I met people through classes the city offered, and even in the bigger city, I met people the same way.
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