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How many off topic things can we really discuss? It's hard enough keeping this thread on track as it is. I see my nephews when I visit them. And my brother does not need to brining the kids and wife to visit me. Have you been reading this thread at all?
You clearly have no clue what it's like to take care of a 1 and 2 year old. If you are perfectly capable of going to visit them, why would your SIL want to be left alone with the kids so her husband can go visit you?
Really? So this is how it normally is? You basically lose your relationship outside occasional phone and text? Like I said. I have friends with kids and we do things all the time without the wife and kids involved. How can they make it work and not my brother and wife? I'm thinking some of the female posters on here are like my SIL, a little controlling and don't want their men doing things without them, so they are obviously being unreasonable and taking sides.
Honestly I rarely talk to my sister. When we get together it's like no time has passed. We're in a very busy phase of life right now. We both work, have kids, and live in different time zones. It doesn't mean we don't care. It means life changes.
If you were going to see him every 6-8 weeks, he didn't need to come see you.
It is very rare if it ever happens, that a married brother with young children would ever travel out of town to see his young single sister. It is kind of fuzzy thinking to expect him to do so. Especially leaving his wife and children at home, and going out of town to spend a few days hanging out with his sister. He has more important things to do, just helping his wife care for his children.
If your brother and his young family are normal, they are on a strict budget, and have every dollar spent before they get it to pay bills, and other family expenses, along with things like food, and dollars needed for spending on the children. They don't have a couple hundred dollars to spend so he can go down to where his sister is just to hang out. They have more important needs for their money, and those needs have to come first.
These are the reasons why, the single person is always the one to travel to see the married family.
What happens if one sibling has kids and marriage and one sibling is a Martian? Because from your recent posts, you have as much chance of being married and having kids as you do in being a Martian.
What you posted yesterday:
I'm now 35 and realize I've never loved a girl or person. I've had 3 girls want to marry me, yet I felt nothing for them. I don't ever miss anyone. I don't think about family or friends or miss them. Sometimes I wonder if my parents or brother died if I would cry or it would really affect me. Growing up my dad was always working and not around that much. I never thought about it or cared. It sounds sad I know!! I wonder if there is something seriously wrong and abnormal about this! At the same time, I have a lot of empathy for people.
So whats the point of this thread if you dont miss your family. Maybe your brother knows how you feel, and he just doesnt care to make the 6 hour round trip to see you.
After this, he said his brother "fills his time." It is not up to your brother to "fill your time." His time is filled with a wife and 2 young kids. You should be happy if they include you in birthdays, holidays, and accept your visits at other times. Any expectation beyond that is pretty selfish of you.
Okay. You are clearly blindly defending his wife/them. they live in the same city as her family! I think they've visited them at least 300 times by now. I don't think they have to visit her family who lives 15 minutes away the exact day we have a family reunion.
How do you know how many times they have visited her family?
After this, he said his brother "fills his time." It is not up to your brother to "fill your time." His time is filled with a wife and 2 young kids. You should be happy if they include you in birthdays, holidays, and accept your visits at other times. Any expectation beyond that is pretty selfish of you.
"I should be HAPPY if they include me in.....". I don't know what kind of family you come from, but things like this are standard to being welcome to, not something "I should be happy" about or feel they are doing me a favor. In fact, they invite me to all these things and are disappointed if I can't make it. And ACCEPT my visits. They ask me to visit. I don't ask and they accept. Especially since I'm 3 hours away now.
How do you know how many times they have visited her family?
I don't know exactly how many times, I know "at least" how many times based on weekly/monthly estimates, how many years they've been together, and using math.
"I should be HAPPY if they include me in.....". I don't know what kind of family you come from, but things like this are standard to being welcome to, not something "I should be happy" about or feel they are doing me a favor. In fact, they invite me to all these things and are disappointed if I can't make it. And ACCEPT my visits. They ask me to visit. I don't ask and they accept. Especially since I'm 3 hours away now. Get your head right.
You aren't doing yourself any favors with your attitude. The bottom line is your brother has a life with his wife and kids. I tried to politely explain that a few posts ago. Several people did. You might try reading the advice you've been given, and actually listening instead of getting defensive.
You aren't doing yourself any favors with your attitude. The bottom line is your brother has a life with his wife and kids. I tried to politely explain that a few posts ago. Several people did. You might try reading the advice you've been given, and actually listening instead of getting defensive.
Not everyone has been polite. I've listened. I was given advice on both sides of the argument, not just yours.
He rarely came down with one kid or before kids.
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