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We have a friend (single and in his 40s) who we offered to take out to a restaurant for his birthday. Instead of saying "sure I would love to go" or "no, I have other plans, but thank you" the individual responded by inviting himself over to our home to drink and eat.
We replied by saying we were happy to take him out as offered or could have him over another time, but his birthday falls in the middle of a busy work period and we just don't have the capacity to entertain at home during this time. He has still not said yes or no to a restaurant dinner.
Is it me, or is it really rude to respond to an invite with a counter offer?
Maybe clueless? Family tradition? Doesn't want to sit at home on his birthday?
Have him come over and cook dinner for you, then clean up. That sounds like a plan.
Maybe clueless? Family tradition? Doesn't want to sit at home on his birthday?
Have him come over and cook dinner for you, then clean up. That sounds like a plan.
In previous posts the OP has stated he's complaining to friends now about their invite. Probably not tradition, as they're friends & it doesn't sound like this was an issue before. Doesn't want to sit home... yeah, they invited to buy him dinner... he's not going to be at home alone, unless he continues to be rude. Clueless? That & unappreciative, from the sound of it.
Inviting him over & assigning him chef responsibilities wasn't in their plans, as they've already said... as working people, it's mid-week, so they kindly offered to take him to dinner.
The approach at this point is to be blunt. "We offered you b'day dinner at a restaurant & are calling to confirm. If you're not okay with that, as we've heard through the grapevine, perhaps we can extend ourselves another time & you can make other plans."
WTHeck else can they do? And, what's wrong with this guy? He took a lovely gesture & turned it into a chore & a drag for his "friends".
I would think that, but he just talked to my mate and said that he wanted to go to the most expensive restaurant in town....as well as complained that we weren't going to have him over.
What an odd idea. No. Must everything be "for kids"?
OP is this friend a big drinker or something? From a couple of posts it almost seems like he wants to come to your place more to drink.
Drinking is part of it. He knows I don't cook so the "home cooked meal" angle isn't that. We do have a nice place and he has hinted before that we should host a party for him. I thought he might be kidding. Guess not!
I'm rather blunt when it comes to personal relationships, with that kind of thing I'd be calling them up and say that given the confusion, other plans fell into place and maybe everyone can get together some other time in the future. I'd then wait for THEM to plan it.
Thankfully I've culled those kinds of 'friends' from my life. Too much work.
This is an excellent way to word it.
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