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I find some interesting candies or chocolates are nice. Presumably the hostess has passed along the same message of not bringing anything to all her invites, so you run the risk of everyone bringing her flowers. I once had a dinner party where I told everyone that I had all the food covered and just asked everyone to bring dessert. I ended up having 5 full size cakes at the party.
Flowers when you know how badly we suffer from allergies? I'd tell you to put them in your car and don't bring them into our house to set off asthma. What a horrible idea. You wold not be our friend and not know we have this issue. My husband ends up with asthma over the smallest smells/pollen in the hospital with flowers in the house, it'd be the last time you'd be invited.
But if your hostess says bring nothing why not respect her and bring nothing. She is the hostess maybe she has everything planned to a tee. Maybe in her mind she is paying back others and wants them to come and have a nice mealshe planned for her guests.
If someone insists, I say bring a dessert and we'll put it with my planned desert. I've done this and boy was the one brought better than mine. We loved it. This guest was a caterer and knew she's bring something I'd love but never take the time to make.
A host or hostess gift is nice, but make sure it's not flowers for someone who has asthma, chocolates for someone with an allergy, wine for someone who doesn't drink...I think you all get the idea.
If you do bring some item of food or drink, don't expect it to be served with the meal. The meal has probably already been planned.
There is, of course, nothing wrong with sending a nice note after the fact, perhaps with a gift certificate for something like a spa visit or other little luxury.
Also, believe it or not, there really are people who issue invitations who honestly want nothing more than the pleasure of your company!
A host or hostess gift is nice, but make sure it's not flowers for someone who has asthma, chocolates for someone with an allergy, wine for someone who doesn't drink...I think you all get the idea.
If you do bring some item of food or drink, don't expect it to be served with the meal. The meal has probably already been planned.
There is, of course, nothing wrong with sending a nice note after the fact, perhaps with a gift certificate for something like a spa visit or other little luxury.
Also, believe it or not, there really are people who issue invitations who honestly want nothing more than the pleasure of your company!
Reading through this thread I'm realizing some customs/manners are based on the community. I'm a stickler for manners, and I do know etiquette!
But yes, in my grouping of friends, if you ask what can I bring and the hostess says nothing you bring nothing. You might bring along a game to play that evening if that works out that way, but you don't show up with a potted plant or flowers or a bottle of champagne or an extra unwanted dessert.
Unless you don't share hosting. If one person always hosts (and we do have that too, there's someone who does Halloween and someone who does New Years Eve) the guests bring the party. So in those cases, you bring a nice food item and something to drink and share if you plan to drink, and the hostess might have a few items out but the guests bring the bulk.
If I invite a few couples to dinner, please don't bring me a potted plant or candy to be consumed later.
Reading this thread, it is apparent that something once rather basic as a simple food, floral, or other hostess gift has become yet another minefield of potential insult in our current world.
I like to take an orchid, they last a long time & are beautiful to look at. I think they bypass some of the allergy issues too, but I am waiting to be corrected on that one.
Flowers for some/maybe? I stopped doing that years ago, more work for the hostess.
Bring something chocolate. Just about everyone loves chocolate.. Not a lot but something nice. A small well constructed cake or local brownies/cookies are always welcome. Even if the family saves it for their future. Don't insist she puts it out. Always works for me as a guest..
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I usually get assigned to make dessert. If I don't make something I take gift basket with pure vanilla extract and or some gourmet spices like Penzys. If you cook you can always use some fresh spices. Just about everybody uses vanilla. The good stuff is expensive.
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What a horrible idea. You wold not be our friend and not know we have this issue. My husband ends up with asthma over the smallest smells/pollen in the hospital with flowers in the house, it'd be the last time you'd be invited. 
