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Wow tough spot. My initial thought is that if you show up with an eviction notice 2 weeks after family just lost their Dad and hand it to your own family, you are playing hardball. This is going to get very ugly.
Having been through two executor situations, something seems very "off" with this situation. Has Grandma even talked with an estate lawyer? Does she understand about probate?
Appearing with a real estate agent to appraise the house without any prior warning to the uncle seems really vindictive, especially since your grandfather indicated this house would be his in the future.
Since you keep repeating this is out of character for your grandmother, I believe you. It seems like your uncle made extremely poor financial choices but he also kept the business going for your grandfather when he became increasingly ill as well as for himself.
From your previous threads, I see your narcissistic parents' fingerprints all over this situation. If the house is sold before Grandma dies, they profit. Does Grandma really need the money so quickly? Kind of surprises me as she already has a house and you mentioned lots of jewelry, etc. - she doesn't seem poor.
If her name was on the deed of the property and business along with the grandfather's its her house and business. All she has to do is produce a death certificate and she is within her rights to sell the house, even if the grandfather made a will that specifically states that it goes to the OPs uncle. Its not a part of any probate, if that is the case. Perhaps someone was gambling that grandma would go first, or, the grandfather was too sick, and the uncle too naïve to get it writing.
The uncle may be within his rights to challenge what she is doing, but he will have to seek counsel, and still face the prospect of paying an attorney and still not gain what seems to be common knowledge in the family was supposed to become his. Then the family will have to give depositions. Everyone has to be willing to take a stand against grandma. Which honestly, has more potential to cause the family to crumble more than it already is.
I guess we can learn from this in the sense that if such deals are made amongst family, you should go to an attorney and get the paperwork straight from the get-go. Sure, its an expense, but it will be small in comparison to relying on the trust the uncle had in the grandfather, and avoid any issues once he passed.
To be fair to Grandma, depending on values of the business and property, she can be looking at taxes beyond her means, and that would rest on the laws in the location. And, again, she no longer has the grandfather's social security coming in. Also, the grandfather could have been planning a hood-wink on his own, to trick the uncle into earning his keep, and also get him used to doing something for a living before the grandfather passed. He was living rent free for 30 years, afterall. It would/could also be expensive to transfer deeds and such to the uncle, and she may have no faith that he would not lose the home and business eventually given the track record of the uncle.
No one truly knows but the grandfather, and he ain't talking. As for jewelry, most men don't really have a ton of jewelry, at least not in comparison to their wives. If they inherit jewelry, they usually give it to their wife and others while they are alive. Any jewelry he gave to grandma is not a part of the estate either. If its in a safe deposit box with both their names on it, consider it gone and it wont be a part of the probate either.
There may be nothing that IS a part of the probate, if provisions were already made. Joint ownership on deeds, bank accounts, anything put in trust for, etc. are not things that are considered assets that need to go through probate.
Last edited by ComeCloser; 11-11-2017 at 11:05 AM..
I have had a few friends lose husbands I know that no matter how you prepare the paperwork ,medical bills, insurance, social security etc is overwhelming and scary.
I don't know the dynamics so I can't say your gran is justified or not but your uncle has had a free ride for 30 years, and who has to pay the taxes on the house,insurance and the repairs. As a widow she needs to simplify and minimize her expenses as much as possible.
Thanks, everyone. You're confirming a lot of my general thoughts. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and concerned. To answer a few questions...
The house was in both of their names, and the will gives everything to the surviving spouse. I saw the will several years ago when my grandfather first had health issues that could be catastrophic and my grandmother showed me where all the important documents and items were. My memory is fuzzy on specifics, but everything would go to the spouse who lived. When they both pass, my uncle was willed the house he lives in and my mom will get the house my grandmother lives in. The other kids/stepkids get percentages (and that's going to be a disaster as they're dramatically unequal) and the grandkids get a percentage equally. My grandmother has a lot of family heirlooms, collections, and jewelry that are specifically willed to either my mother, brother, uncle, or I.
Now, I don't know the legality of such things, but my assumption is that the house would only go to my uncle if it was still left after all was said and done. It is *very* well understood in my family that my mom gets my grandmother's house and my uncle gets the other house, and I really don't think anyone considered that either/or might not be there as my grandparents need to make those assets liquid.
You are correct. As his will appears to be written your grandmother now owns everything and therefore can do as she pleases, change her will to leave it all to someone else or sell it. If your grandfather wanted it differently he should have told his lawyer who would have written it up as leaving the houses in a living trust or left the house your Uncle lived in to him on his death and left the house your grandmother lived in in a living trust to be left to your mother upon your grandmother's death. At this point, everything in his will leaves all assets to your grandmother and she is free to do as she wishes. As to probate on the houses, since they were in both names they probably were in right to survivorship as well so aren't included in probate so she is now free to do as she wishes with them.
I think I would just check in with Grandma to get her side of the story. You don't have to meddle, just let her talk. She may have additional information that will fix the bigger picture for you.
gran'ma should have 2 of the closest kids , including the uncle who has been by their side for 30 years, together for a personal conference. People that live far away and are not involved in day to day living arrangements, need not apply. Grand Ma, and these people need to sit down and figure out what they will do. One mans death, with a survivor, means there is no inheritance involved.
Grandma can change everything right now, in writing, laying out all the paperwork, involving property, business, second homes, all in one. Grand Ma is the only one who can resolve this, and she does not need anyone demanding or clouding her mind with forced decisions. From what I have read, your mom is using you as a pawn , for the family fortune. Until grandma passes, there is no need for the money grab, and is the best time that grandma makes arrangements.
As for your uncle, and any deals he may have had, he has put in work and been a good son. Extra tough when his mom works right downstairs, and is involved with many aspects of his life. But uncle did stick around. So what if the business and property was in grand pa's name, he has un imaginable rights, living there for 30 years, and it carries alot of weight in court. No one knows his arrangement with his father.
Lower Salary and housing, for putting in hours in a family business of 30 years? compensation does seem justified. That is alot of work to put in, especially when uncle could have worked some where else, get a pension, in a different better paying career. who knows? I am sure Uncle can keep the business going, and keep grandma in her shop, and keep income coming in for Grand Ma to live off of.
Uncle should not share any more info with outsiders,need to know basis only. Uncle also needs to shut his siblings up now, people taking jabs and talking out of line , need to be confronted. how does it sound, when adult kids get involved in mommy and daddies business, like it belongs to them. If a parent is not asking for help, how does a son/daughter feel it is their place to decide for them?
If you do communicate with GrandMa and Uncle on a regular basis, feel comfortable with them, I would talk to them , and tell them how you feel. You do not need to be loyal to your mom, if things were going good with your uncle and grandma, especially over some bogus inheritance.
It sounds like grandma has wanted to make some changes for a long time, and has found her opportunity.
Families fall apart when people die. My husband's mother died, and his fell apart. Same with my immediate family, and also my extended family when my grandmother died.
If I were you, I'd stay on the sidelines. Don't choose sides.
Hopefully, everything will work out. These are all adults, and they need to work things out for themselves.
Your grandmother can do whatever she wishes with her home.
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