Are introverts doomed as far as relationships go? (jealous, wife, spouse)

[RickyBobbyjr]

1. If your husband/ wife/ significant other is a social addict and your an introvert would it work? (Opposites attract)
2. Is it normal to want for one best friend..and that being your significant other?
3. Am I the only person that wants to get rid of smartphones (except the cool apps and games) and enjoy one persons company?
4. Does everyone need outside relations?
5. How will my “soulmate” ever meet such an introvert?

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by RickyBobbyjr

1. If your husband/ wife/ significant other is a social addict and your an introvert would it work? (Opposites attract)
2. Is it normal to want for one best friend..and that being your significant other?
3. Am I the only person that wants to get rid of smartphones (except the cool apps and games) and enjoy one persons company?
4. Does everyone need outside relations?
5. How will my “soulmate” ever meet such an introvert?

1. Depends. "Social addict" doesn't sound promising, but you can pair with someone who is a bit more social than you if s/he is accepting that this is the way you are and doesn't try to make you different (in which case you have more problems than just the social thing, you have a person who wants you to be somebody different) and if s/he can find social outlets of his or her own that don't come between you.
2. It might be normal FOR YOU.
3. I doubt you are the only person like this. The warning light I see is to ask yourself if you would become possessive of that person's attentions. S/he might be that for you, but maybe you can't be that for him/her.
4. Apparently not. Most people do need something. Even my very introverted father (married to my very social mother) got some social interaction with his VFW buddies once a month at the meetings.
5. On a message board/Internet forum.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by RickyBobbyjr

1. If your husband/ wife/ significant other is a social addict and your an introvert would it work? (Opposites attract)

Yes, it can work, although it would be a challenge. Introverts aren't incapable of communicating, and you'll be fine as long as you can communicate with your spouse about your feelings and expectations about social situations.

Originally Posted by RickyBobbyjr

2. Is it normal to want for one best friend..and that being your significant other?

It doesn't matter if it's normal. As long as the two of you are ok with it ...

Originally Posted by RickyBobbyjr

3. Am I the only person that wants to get rid of smartphones (except the cool apps and games) and enjoy one persons company?

I doubt it, but smart phones and "enjoying one person's company" are not mutually exclusive.

Originally Posted by RickyBobbyjr

4. Does everyone need outside relations?

I think so. What the heck do you mean by "outside relations"?

Originally Posted by RickyBobbyjr

5. How will my “soulmate” ever meet such an introvert?

I don't believe in soulmates. Your goal is to find someone who can tolerate your quirks as well as you tolerate theirs.

[CapsChick]

Of course not. Introverts can be very social as well. I'm a very outgoing introvert. The majority of my career has been in sales and fundraising. I think you may have a very common misunderstanding of what an introvert is. It does not mean socially inept, shy, etc.

I know a couple who have been together for 20 years; she is a major introvert and he is very extroverted. It works for them!

[lovely40]

I'm an introvert. But, you would never guess it if you met me. I'm very outgoing in social settings. But, occasionally I need time to duck out and "hide". I rarely close a place down. I'll go for an appearance, then I'll leave. A lot of times w/o announcing I'm doing so. I'm attracted to extroverts to an extent. But, not the bouncing off the walls kind. I do believe in soul mates. You have to be willing to put yourself out there to a degree so your mate can find you.
Smart phones? Meh, I can take em or leave em. Mines rarely rings anyway. And, I don't do friends as I prefer my own company over that of others.

[brava4]

Introvert here and if I go somewhere I am very social but then need to leave and go home for downtime.


I was in a relationship with an extrovert for 8yrs and so much of the time it was hell for me.

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by CapsChick

I know a couple who have been together for 20 years; she is a major introvert and he is very extroverted. It works for them!

My parents are an introvert/extrovert couple and they've been married for over 50 years. My mom is a social butterfly and needs interaction to feel complete. Dad is an introvert who needs his downtime to recharge, but like others have said, it doesn't mean that he's awkward or misanthropic. They respect each other's needs--Dad will sometimes go to social events for my mom, and Mom knows that Dad needs his space and alone time.

[Atlguy39]

I don't know if we're doomed in relationships, however finding them is way more challenging for us than extroverts.

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by CapsChick

Of course not. Introverts can be very social as well. I'm a very outgoing introvert. The majority of my career has been in sales and fundraising. I think you may have a very common misunderstanding of what an introvert is. It does not mean socially inept, shy, etc.

I know a couple who have been together for 20 years; she is a major introvert and he is very extroverted. It works for them!

I know that it's now very popular to emphasize how an introvert CAN be quite social (and yet need to be alone to "recharge" - verging on trite terminology) but there are many introverts who even though aren't mute they still don't choose to socialize much. It sounds like that might be the OP.

I'm an introvert and I'm not afraid to say that I've never had more than one really good friend at a time...I'll duck down a hallway to avoid talking to people at work...I can't wait to be alone...and yet - I'm okay talking in front of large groups as long as I'm prepared for it. In fact I prefer large groups because I can "hold them at arm's length" and don't have to get in one on one conversations - I've actually been an instructor for classes with hundreds of students! I've also had several LTRs and have been in one now for the last 10 years.

OP - it's not impossible - there are introverts you likely have much in common with as well as less extreme extroverts. As long as you're not the jealous type, your partner can go off and socialize more on the occasions you don't want to and your relationship can thrive. No need to compartmentalize yourself and others so much - "socializing" is just another characteristic you may not need to match exactly on but just be within your tolerable limits - sot so different from other things you look for in a partner.

[bookspage]

I've read that extrovert man----introvert woman is a good match

Extrovert woman----introvert man....not a good match

(Don't know about same-sex relationships)

Apparently, the extrovert woman will start to resent the introvert man. But when it's reversed, the extrovert man carries a lot of the social weight of the couple which the introvert woman actually appreciates

Now, I don't know how true this is, but it makes sense to me and I've seen it play out like this in real life

Two extroverts are good together
Two introverts are good together but can get stuck in a rut