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Basically, I want to know whether or not I am justified to be angry and/or concerned about this
It's pretty minor and silly. But is it signal of worse things to come? Only been married about a year.
Background:
My MIL belongs to this music band putting on a Christmas concert soon as part of a small town volunteer band. Not a rock band or a "cool" band by any stretch - you know, the traditional classical songs, sing-alongs, Rudolf, Jingle Bells, Santa is Coming to Town blah blah blah. The primary audience for this crap is old people, and maybe families with small kids. This stuff is popular with a certain crowd I suppose and I get that. Do what makes you happy. But as far as I go personally... not at ALL into it. Would rather stay home and not attend, but of course I will be going to this concert just to spare myself from the fallout if I DARED had the audacity not to attend.
Anyway, in the program, you can buy space to put a small advertisement, or a Christmas message, etc. Without my knowledge, she went ahead and bought an ad and put me and my wife's names on it with a 'Happy Holidays' message. So, yeah, she essentially used my name without my permission and paid for this message herself.. I don't fully get her purpose in doing this - I'm pretty sure she knows that I'm "not that into" this type of thing and would never, ever pay for an ad like this, I'm not the type to be spreading holiday cheer to strangers.
Now course, I'm a little ticked about it, and my wife is getting ticked because I am ticked. She doesn't really see anything wrong with this. Yes, its a minor thing, and only a handful of folks are going to see this ad, but still.... I don't like things like this done behind my back. Am I wrong for being ticked off?
OK, well then please tell me your name, so I can use your name without your consent, and pay for messages that you didn't write, and post them publically. No problem there!
Quit with the MIL criticism and learn to get along with people who aren't like you. If you don't ease off, the next message she leaves may actually be something to complain about rather than the perfectly harmless Merry Christmas message. Grow up.
She didn't use your name to steal your identity and take all your money. She didn't post a message revealing your deepest darkest secrets. She wished you and your wife happy holidays.
As a result of your marriage you have expanded your family. Learn to get along, just as you have with other members of your family. This isn't the issue you want to make a big deal out of in my opinion.
She didn't use your name to steal your identity and take all your money. She didn't post a message revealing your deepest darkest secrets. She wished you and your wife happy holidays.
No, she didn't wish ME and my wife happy holidays
She wished a bunch of STRANGERS happy holidays on BEHALF of us
As a result of your marriage you have expanded your family. Learn to get along, just as you have with other members of your family. This isn't the issue you want to make a big deal out of in my opinion.
I understand that, and as I said, this is minor. But is it a signal of further boundaries that will be pushed?
Think of it like the "broken windows" theory of crime management... you let the small petty crimes go, and rates of major crime go up. If I let this go un discussed, what else will happen?
I thinks it's bizarre on her part to do this. What is the motive other than to tick me off?
And everyone here defending her is probably just an intrusive MIL themselves
It's extremely minor. You have married a family and doubtless you'll have more important issues down the road. Save your energy for those. This is not a hill worth dying on. You said your wife is already annoyed with you about it. Please let it go.
What is her motive? My guess would be she was assigned to sell a certain number of ads and ran out of ideas so she sold one to you and paid for it herself considering it a gift to you.
In the whole scope of things it's so, so minor. Let it go.
For the record, I am no one's MIL, but I had one for 30 years. She would have done exactly that, and I would have tried to accept it in the spirit in which it was intended.
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She doesn't really see anything wrong with this. Yes, its a minor thing, and only a handful of folks are going to see this ad, but still.... I don't like things like this done behind my back. Am I wrong for being ticked off?