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My older brother is getting married in July. I'm the best man in the wedding. I felt honored to be asked to do so. Anyway, my brother is a firefighter and has been one for close to ten years now. He is close friends with his fellow firefighters and a few cops. To be frank, I'm sick and tired of their "brotherhood" attitudes and the firefighter friends that are in the wedding almost act as if they are important to my brother than I am. It pisses me off and I can't stand their "brother" bull<bleep>. I have been in my brother's life for 31 years now and I feel like being shafted out by people that aren't related to us and also people who we didn't grow up with. Lately with planning the bachelor party and other pre wedding events, I'm tired of his firefighter friends trying to act like they are more important than me.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-05-2018 at 04:34 AM..
Reason: language filter
You need to talk to your brother and let him know this stuff is bothering you, before you just bail out of his wedding altogether.
I've tried talking to him about this and didn't go well because he said that he goes through a lot with these guys due to their jobs which I get. But, I did tell him that I feel like I'm being pushed out of his life by them and that I deserve respect because I'm his actual brother and not a co-worker. He gave that sappy bull<bleep> response about how friends can become family.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-05-2018 at 04:36 AM..
Reason: language..again
I've tried talking to him about this and didn't go well because he said that he goes through a lot with these guys due to their jobs which I get. But, I did tell him that I feel like I'm being pushed out of his life by them and that I deserve respect because I'm his actual brother and not a co-worker. He gave that sappy bull<delete> response about how friends can become family.
Well, they aren't just co-workers. They are literally responsible for each others' lives. They are closer than friends; closer than co-workers. Unfortunately, the English language is very limited, so the closest word they can come up with is brother. Just remind yourself that there is more than one meaning to the word. They can't diminish what you and your bother share ... unless you let them, that is.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-05-2018 at 04:36 AM..
My older brother is getting married in July. I'm the best man in the wedding. I felt honored to be asked to do so. Anyway, my brother is a firefighter and has been one for close to ten years now. He is close friends with his fellow firefighters and a few cops. To be frank, I'm sick and tired of their "brotherhood" attitudes and the firefighter friends that are in the wedding almost act as if they are important to my brother than I am. It pisses me off and I can't stand their "brother" bull. I have been in my brother's life for 31 years now and I feel like being shafted out by people that aren't related to us and also people who we didn't grow up with. Lately with planning the bachelor party and other pre wedding events, I'm tired of his firefighter friends trying to act like they are more important than me.
I understand how you feel. I'd hate it, too. But IMO, this wedding is about your brother and not you. He has made clear that you are his best man, not one of them. It would hurt your brother if you bowed out. So do the right thing and put your brother's feelings above your own, for just one day. You won't regret it. Just smile, don't say negative things, and get through the day. Hang out with your parents or other relatives, if you are being excluded by the juvenile firefighters.
And hey....free food! And as a member of the family, maybe you can take a platter of the leftovers home!
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-05-2018 at 04:37 AM..
Why the insecurity? Your brother asked you to be his best man, how much more importance do you think you merit? The wedding isn't about you. I think you feel like a third wheel around your brother's co-workers, and you may be, but suck it up anyway, for your brother's sake.
Well, they aren't just co-workers. They are literally responsible for each others' lives. They are closer than friends; closer than co-workers. Unfortunately, the English language is very limited, so the closest word they can come up with is brother. Just remind yourself that there is more than one meaning to the word. They can't diminish what you and your bother share ... unless you let them, that is.
I get that.<bleep> They should call themselves friends and that's it.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-05-2018 at 04:39 AM..
Reason: You are not sllowed to circumvent the language filter
Well, they aren't just co-workers. They are literally responsible for each others' lives. They are closer than friends; closer than co-workers. Unfortunately, the English language is very limited, so the closest word they can come up with is brother. Just remind yourself that there is more than one meaning to the word. They can't diminish what you and your bother share ... unless you let them, that is.
^ agree
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
Why the insecurity? Your brother asked you to be his best man, how much more importance do you think you merit? The wedding isn't about you. I think you feel like a third wheel around your brother's co-workers, and you may be, but suck it up anyway, for your brother's sake.
Why the insecurity? Your brother asked you to be his best man, how much more importance do you think you merit? The wedding isn't about you. I think you feel like a third wheel around your brother's co-workers, and you may be, but suck it up anyway, for your brother's sake.
I know that wedding isn't about me. My real issue is those guys trying to shove me out of my brother's life.
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