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It doesn't sound like the game was wedding event, just some friends going to game.
It would be very disappointing if they were omitting you on purpose to wedding fesitivities.
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My older brother is getting married in July. I'm the best man in the wedding. I felt honored to be asked to do so. Anyway, my brother is a firefighter and has been one for close to ten years now. He is close friends with his fellow firefighters and a few cops. To be frank, I'm sick and tired of their "brotherhood" attitudes and the firefighter friends that are in the wedding almost act as if they are important to my brother than I am. It pisses me off and I can't stand their "brother" bull. I have been in my brother's life for 31 years now and I feel like being shafted out by people that aren't related to us and also people who we didn't grow up with. Lately with planning the bachelor party and other pre wedding events, I'm tired of his firefighter friends trying to act like they are more important than me.
Grow up.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-05-2018 at 04:54 AM..
There is, of course, the possibility that they are purposely not including him, which does happen sometimes to people who use wheelchairs. Because they don't know what your limitations are. They apparently know you don't have money to spend on a game, and so maybe they felt not including you was the better thing to do. Also, many people don't know about the mechanics of transportation, and whether a game is something you could do successfully.
There is also the reality that this is their very dear friend's once-in-a-lifetime event, and they want to do it up big. And your financial limitations are causing it to be very awkward - they want to do something huge and memorable, and you are not able to. And so, they might actually be pulling rank, saying they're closer to him than you are. So I see now what you've been saying.
They left me out of the gifts they have given my brother and they also took him to a Colts game a few months back and i wasn't even invited. I probably wouldn't have had the money to go, but it pisses me off that they couldn't even ask or tell me. I had to see it on my brother's Facebook. I'm trying to plan the bachelor party locally, but they keep pushing for events out of state that I can't afford and so yes I think they are doing what they can to make me look bad and like I don't care about my brother. It's also their bull**** comments about being "brothers" and how they have stronger bond that **** me off.
Out of state for a bachelor party? So is the plan that only they're going to be the bachelor party?
Because if other guys were to be invited it get's expensive and usually involves time off from their jobs for something like that. Regardless, seems a bit much.
Before your accident, did you feel that you should be included in your brother's circle of closest friends? Before the accident, if he and his friends were planning to go to a Colts game, would you have been included, or would you have felt slighted not to be included?
Was the Colts game a wedding party function thing, (seems a little hard to believe since the wedding is so far in the future, but maybe) or was it just this group of guys getting together because that's what they do?
They are not close knit because they are his wedding party, they are his wedding party because they are close knit.
And you are the best man, although you're not part of their social circle.
Yes, the Colts game was a wedding party thing. That same day, the guys' girlfriends and wives went to a spa with my soon to be sister-in-law.
I am always there for my brother and so don't accuse me of not being there for my brother. I just don't want his work friends to be more important to him than me.
Hey, I NEVER accused YOU of anything like that. Why is it so many misconstrue what others say. I said my friends were there for me, as #1 they live in the same town, my bro and sis, lived 3000 miles from me for the last 50+ yrs. Enjoy the wedding.
Too bad so much anger going on. I'm very sorry for your accident and where you are but so many live with many health challenges. I use a walker now and often decline going to dinner with friends due to the hassle of dealing with my issue and having them kinda wait on me.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 02-04-2018 at 03:46 PM..
They left me out of the gifts they have given my brother and they also took him to a Colts game a few months back and i wasn't even invited. I probably wouldn't have had the money to go, but it pisses me off that they couldn't even ask or tell me. I had to see it on my brother's Facebook. I'm trying to plan the bachelor party locally, but they keep pushing for events out of state that I can't afford and so yes I think they are doing what they can to make me look bad and like I don't care about my brother. It's also their bull**** comments about being "brothers" and how they have stronger bond that **** me off.
Are you sure this is their motivation? Hard to believe without listening to them. They might be just as uncomfortable with your situation as you are. People are often stupid about such things...not maliciously stupid, just awkwardly clueless. They may be aware of your financial limits and didn't want to pressure you into paying for expensive gifts. They may have thought it would embarrass you to have to turn down the invitations. The logistics of event planning to include you may be strange territory to them. This doesn't excuse it, but it might explain it.
People are not mind readers. They probably have no idea how you are perceiving all this. Have you tried suggesting something specific, local, affordable, and being up front about why it matters? Maybe ask them for help arranging it? Not because you can't do it yourself, but because it could break the ice. People love to be helpful. They just don't know how until someone tells them. You don't have to limit the events to what THEY propose. You can hold your own, turn the tables, and invite the group to something you prefer to do.
There is, of course, the possibility that they are purposely not including him, which does happen sometimes to people who use wheelchairs. Because they don't know what your limitations are. They apparently know you don't have money to spend on a game, and so maybe they felt not including you was the better thing to do. Also, many people don't know about the mechanics of transportation, and whether a game is something you could do successfully.
You don't think firefighters who deal constantly with limitations of the people they assist know anything about wheelchairs?
IDK where the OP lives, but the starting salary here in LA for an LAFD trainee is over $50K going up to $75K. I would imagine these are for the most part single guys, they couldn't all chip in and cover the OP's costs?
They're well paid (as they should be) in most parts of the country.
Sounds like a lot of poor excuses to me.
We're not talking about recently graduated frat boys with business degrees.
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