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As I just said they listed the event as Wedding Party Football Outing on social media. It wasn't done as "work family" thing.
So everyone went and you knew nothing about it until afterwards? No one spoke to you about it? Who told you the reason the didn't invite you and when?
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I am always there for my brother and so don't accuse me of not being there for my brother. I just don't want his work friends to be more important to him than me.
It's not a competition.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
I was injured in a skiing accident last year and ended up with a spinal cord injury and I'm stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life so yeah I'm a little pissed about things.
I am very sorry about that. Of course you are having all kind of emotions, and you have plenty to be upset about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
There's no a counselor in the world that will help me feel like a full man again or will help me enjoy being around my able bodied brother and his able bodied friends.
A counselor could help you sort out your feelings and realize why you are having them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
They left me out of the gifts they have given my brother and they also took him to a Colts game a few months back and i wasn't even invited. I probably wouldn't have had the money to go, but it pisses me off that they couldn't even ask or tell me. I had to see it on my brother's Facebook. I'm trying to plan the bachelor party locally, but they keep pushing for events out of state that I can't afford and so yes I think they are doing what they can to make me look bad and like I don't care about my brother. It's also their bull**** comments about being "brothers" and how they have stronger bond that **** me off.
You need to talk to your brother about this. I would hope that he would want you involved, an would either find a way for you to go, or tell them that he wants it local so you can be there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
I don't enjoy other people trying to take my place in my brother's life. At the end of the day they should just be like co-workers and not view each other as "family".
They aren't. They are his friends. Your brother is allowed to have friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
I believe in putting blood families and spouses first and not viewing co-workers or friends in the same category as family. It pisses me off that my own brother is putting other people in that category and not telling his co-workers that he already has a brother and that's me and they aren't his brothers.
Not your call. You brother has one of those professions that goes beyond just work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
I'm trying to plan the bachelor party and write a best man's speech. I was left out of the gifts they got for my brother and the Colts game and I wouldn' be surprised if they leave me out of other events where they to sporting events or other places.
The groomsmen don't decide who makes speeches. How many wedding events are there going to be? This seems like a lot, especially for guys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
It would still hurt me that I can't be at their expensive out of town party especially since I'm the best man.
You need to discuss this with your brother. The bachelor party should be something you all can attend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
I don't like that my brother has a shared bond with them because it makes it seem like i'm not good enough for him.
I understand jealousy, but you need to take a step back and realize that this is out of hand. Your brother is allowed to have friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
I know he still values me, but at times it feels like he values them more especially since he was ok with me being left out of the Colts game and the gifts they pitched in to get. He didn't stand up for me when I wasn't involved in those things.
Talk to him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
I'm not obxnious at all. They listed the event as a Wedding Party Football outing. They didn't invite me because of my money issues.
They probably (wrongly) think that they did you a favor by not asking so you didn't have to decline because of money. It does sound like they should be taking you into account more if these really are wedding events.
Bottom line, you need to talk to your brother. He should be standing up for you, but he needs to do it in a way that he doesn't sound ungrateful for what his friends are doing for him.
Yes, I didn't know about it and I was told on Facebook by one of the guys that they didn't invite me because of my money issues.
Which are legitimate, and surely your brother is aware of them. Yet is doesn't seem your brother did anything to ensure your attendance, which makes me think this wasn't an actual wedding event, as much as a gathering of friends who just happen to be part of the same wedding party.
I think you should plan an activity with just yourself and your brother. Don't spend the time complaining, use it to remind him of your many years together. Wish him well, and let him know you wish things were different, but you just don't have the resources for the multiple pre-wedding parties, but you'll be proud to be his best man on the day it really matters.
Thank you again. I have been treated like<bleep> just because I'm disabled and don't have money for expensive gifts and football games.
Are you, though? Do you think other people shouldn't do these things because you can't? I think I understand why you are upset, but you need to look at it from the perspective of others. What are you really asking? Are you asking to be invited, even though you can't go? Are you asking for your brother to decline because you can't go? Are you asking for you brother's friends not to go?
I hope that, after you discuss this with your brother, you have an in-town bachelor party that you all can attend.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-05-2018 at 05:13 AM..
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