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OP: They are his friends and YOU are his blood brother. Be the best man and let things go as your brother is planning things.
My brother and sister (she is gone) were my blood but friends were OFTEN more important in my life, there were there for me so so so much more. We all have our family issues but do the wedding as it's your brother's.
And if the OP feels that way about his brother's really good friends, I can't imagine how he must feel about his brother's soon-to-be wife. Yikes.
Their whole "band of brothers" deal doesn't have anything at all to do with the wedding. They'll be close regardless of whether or not the OP is in the wedding. That's just the nature of their bond. OP flouncing off to sulk wouldn't change anything (except disappointing his family on what should be a unifying day.)
I like his fiancee a lot and I have no issues with her.
OP: They are his friends and YOU are his blood brother. Be the best man and let things go as your brother is planning things.
My brother and sister (she is gone) were my blood but friends were OFTEN more important in my life, there were there for me so so so much more. We all have our family issues but do the wedding as it's your brother's.
I am always there for my brother and so don't accuse me of not being there for my brother. I just don't want his work friends to be more important to him than me.
I am always there for my brother and so don't accuse me of not being there for my brother. I just don't want his work friends to be more important to him than me.
Some of them may be, you can't control who is the "most" important to him.
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The OP might benefit from talking to a third party such as a professional counselor or psychologist [...] This sounds like it is more about the OP's oversensitivity about what he feels is his "disadvantaged" position due to disability and current lack of funds.
I agree with your suggestion about talking with a therapist, someone who is non-judgmental and can offer some insights. None of us are in his position, I'd wager. If we were, we might very well be having a difficult time coping and need someone to vent to.
The OP might benefit from talking to a third party such as a professional counselor or psychologist to figure out why he appears to be seeking offense where it is very likely none is offered or intended. This sounds like it is more about the OP's oversensitivity about what he feels is his "disadvantaged" position due to disability and current lack of funds.
Again, OP, as many others have said, the wedding is not about you. Throwing a tantrum about the "mean boys" and refusing to be a part of the wedding will not achieve the goal you think it will. You will hurt him and possibly embarrass him, and while he might forgive you, he won't forget that you tried to make his wedding all about you. It will very likely have a significant effect on your relationship with him in the future, and not a good one.
He asked you to be his best man. He did not ask any of his firefighter or police officer friends to be his best man. That should tell you everything you need to know about your place in his life.
I was injured in a skiing accident last year and ended up with a spinal cord injury and I'm stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life so yeah I'm a little pissed about things.
I was injured in a skiing accident last year and ended up with a spinal cord injury and I'm stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life so yeah I'm a little pissed about things.
Since you are self-aware enough to understand that that might be the source of your discontent, it is very possible that discussing your feelings and your reaction to your brother's friends with a counselor might help you gain some perspective and allow you to enjoy the experience of participating in your brother's wedding along with his friends.
My older brother is getting married in July. I'm the best man in the wedding. I felt honored to be asked to do so. Anyway, my brother is a firefighter and has been one for close to ten years now. He is close friends with his fellow firefighters and a few cops. To be frank, I'm sick and tired of their "brotherhood" attitudes and the firefighter friends that are in the wedding almost act as if they are important to my brother than I am. It pisses me off and I can't stand their "brother" bull. I have been in my brother's life for 31 years now and I feel like being shafted out by people that aren't related to us and also people who we didn't grow up with. Lately with planning the bachelor party and other pre wedding events, I'm tired of his firefighter friends trying to act like they are more important than me.
I would decline and not stress over it one bit. Don't let them guilt you, sounds as if he has very egotistical friends who are quite manipulative. Sorry but he is attracted to them for a reason. Not the best crowd and life is short. Enjoy it. If you feel like passing on the reception, do that too. Attend the wedding for sure though
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-05-2018 at 04:49 AM..
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