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Confronting her will just confirm her opinion of you as somebody who likes to argue. And, it won't work. She will either lie to your face and say she doesn't have a problem with you, or she'll tell you exactly why she doesn't like you, which isn't going to help bring you closer. But, why does she have to? You aren't marrying her, and as long as you can be reasonably cordial to each other during family events, then give up your ideal of a big happy family.
Sometimes it takes years to be comfortable with in-laws, I felt that way about a couple of mine. Now we're quite friendly, but they have been in-laws for decades.
she doesn't like you. there's very little you can do about that. probably everything you do to reach out to her will be perceived as being annoying by her. just let your relationship with her build naturally. i would not try to reach out to her in any way and DO NOT ask her why she doesn't like you. if someone did that to me, i'd dislike them even more. not all family has to like each other.
You say "times change" but you're only just now trying to befriend your SIL? Doesn't sound like there's been much time since you've decided to change your approach towards her. Granted, you should've been building something a long while ago.
For her to shut you out like that, I'm wondering if there is perhaps a situation that you need to atone for?
Confronting her will just confirm her opinion of you as somebody who likes to argue. And, it won't work. She will either lie to your face and say she doesn't have a problem with you, or she'll tell you exactly why she doesn't like you, which isn't going to help bring you closer. But, why does she have to? You aren't marrying her, and as long as you can be reasonably cordial to each other during family events, then give up your ideal of a big happy family.
Sometimes it takes years to be comfortable with in-laws, I felt that way about a couple of mine. Now we're quite friendly, but they have been in-laws for decades.
I really dislike my brother in law. I honestly have never wanted to just punch someone right in the face before , but he has no idea or at least he doesn't let on that he knows I don't care for him. Let it go and just be polite to each other; that can be enough .
Maybe she just doesn't like you? I do think civility is a must, but she is probably never going to truly LIKE you, and there isn't much you can do to change that. As long as people are polite and curteous, that is all that is needed. You don't have to be friends.
You cannot force everyone to like you. She has made up her mind to be like this so there is nothing you can do to change that. You have tried to reach out to her but she didn't respond so you don't have to give her any more importance than that. Just be civil with her & that's about it. I hope over time she will get used to you & become good friends so give it some time. Some people take time to warm up especially when they had bitter experiences with people in the past. Maybe something in you reminds her of someone from her past who wasn't good to her. Whatever her reasons, she is being immature & you don't need to indulge such people. So stay polite & diplomatic in her company. Engage others in conversations & pay attention to people who are good to you rather than impressing the ones who don't like you. They are not worth your time so ignore them.
I agree with the above posters. You can't force someone to like you. Some people don't like people who always has to make their opinion known and confront people who don't agree with them. You say you've changed. Time will tell and maybe if she sees that you have really changed she may warm up to you.
At least she isn't rude, hateful about it. She is just keeping her distance.
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, but he has no idea or at least he doesn't let on that he knows I don't care for him. Let it go and just be polite to each other; that can be enough 
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