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Yeah, this is what I figured, but without OP mentioning it AT ALL, it comes across as totally unrelated. It's also petty and silly.
THIS. WTF? How does someone do this without ever explaining what happened? The fact that this went on means there is something wrong with this relationship. The OP is not that important to this guy. She shouldn't go out of her way to make plans with him. She can message him saying she'd be in NYC and they could get together, but unless he makes a concrete plan, don't count on it. And if he makes a concrete plan but then blows it off, then don't ever make plans again. He's messing with her.
This, with the whole netflix thing shows he's using her. You don't share a netflix account with a casual friend. He used it because he could.
I didn’t think him using my Netflix account equaled a romantic relationship.
I didn’t think him using my Netflix account equaled a romantic relationship.
No one said it did, but how many friends do you give your information to? He seems more like a casual acquaintance. I wouldn't be giving passwords and personal information out to casual acquaintances, so it seems like you think the relationship is something more then what it is.
Yeah, I was confused by what the OP was upset about. She planned a trip to New York with her kid, it doesnt sound like he invited her to come visit him for the 4th of July holiday. He spent 2 days with her, after already telling her he would be busy, and on the 3rd day told her that he was too busy to do anything. Then it was the fourth of July, which he may have already had other plans for.
Maybe he didn't realize he was supposed to entertain the OP everyday of her trip, and thought a dinner, an afternoon of playomg tourist, and giving them a metro card would be enough. Especially when he already made it clear he was going to be busy. I know I'd be a little annoyed if a friend planned a vacation to where I lived, and then expected me to be their entertainment for a week, especially during a holiday. I don't know if I'd ignore their calls, but after already saying, "hey sorry, I'm busy", I might. Although I might send a text asking about what they had planned for their vacation.
Especially since it doesn't sound like they're that close of friends, at least not as close as the OP wants them to be. A close friend isn't going to just not show up to a planned Vegas vacation without any explanation. That's weird, and sounds like he had something else going on and didn't see this trip as a big deal.
That’s not what happened. I’ve been planning this trip all year. He told me all year he would be spending the 4th of July with us. When he found out he had to work that day he told me. Like I said we talk pretty much every day. Him ignoring my call is what’s weird.
That’s not what happened. I’ve been planning this trip all year. He told me all year he would be spending the 4th of July with us. When he found out he had to work that day he told me. Like I said we talk pretty much every day. Him ignoring my call is what’s weird.
If he told you he would be working all day and was busy, why were you calling him? Maybe he was annoyed with you, and that's why he didn't call you back.
He didn't show up to a planned trip to Vegas, and never called or explained himself. Is ignoring your call after he already said he would be busy really all that weird?
No one said it did, but how many friends do you give your information to? He seems more like a casual acquaintance. I wouldn't be giving passwords and personal information out to casual acquaintances, so it seems like you think the relationship is something more then what it is.
Maybe I’m delusional. Maybe he’s using me. For what I’m not sure yet but this felt like a friendship to me.
If he told you he would be working all day and was busy, why were you calling him? Maybe he was annoyed with you, and that's why he didn't call you back.
He didn't show up to a planned trip to Vegas, and never called or explained himself. Is ignoring your call after he already said he would be busy really all that weird?
Again that’s not what happened. He said he had to work 1/2 a day. He even told me this again Monday that he would spend the 4th with us. This is what makes weird.
07-06-2018, 11:30 AM
KeysDreamin2019
n/a posts
have you heard from him since the last time he told you he'd see you on the fourth in any form of communication?
Maybe I’m delusional. Maybe he’s using me. For what I’m not sure yet but this felt like a friendship to me.
It doesnt sound like he is using you, just that he doesn't see the friendship the same way you do.
It sucks finding out that someone you thought of as a close friend doesnt see you in the same way. I get it, I've been there. Looking back, there were probably many signs telling you this, but you chose to ignore them. Like Vegas, at least the way you explained it, that was a pretty big indicator that he doesn't value your friendship the way you do.
I don't know if I would completely drop him from your life, but maybe lower your expectations.
The talking almost every day thing is interesting. The OP says they talk almost every day, have been friends for 10 years, and he's like family.
Talking almost every day seems a little unusual - maybe you mean that you two email (or text) almost every day, rather than talk just on the phone almost every day?
Some people (believe it or not - ha) use holidays and some days surrounding them to catch up on sleep and to rejuvenate from the hardships and stress of working every day! Maybe your friend was doing that.
Some people wouldn't enjoy showing a friend (and kid) around NYC or doing things around NYC with visitors. Maybe he has some stresses in his life that he hasn't mentioned to you.
Some people would find it enough to have shown a visiting friend (and kid) around New York City for the day or half-day that your friend did, and having dinner together which you did.
Some people do not like extended time periods with people and find several hours together or a half-day and dinner plenty of time spent together. Other people are able to spend 3 or 5 or 7 entire whole days together without problem.
Enjoyable time spent together varies a lot by individual. I have a friend who is going to spend Weds evening, all day Thursday, all day Friday, and part or all of Saturday with a group of people (former softball players) at a lake and lake cabin together next month. I could NOT do that. One evening together of about 4 hours would be enough for me!
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