He Assumed I Spoke "Asian" Because Of My Race! (meeting, person)
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You don't seem to get the dynamic is different, because of the racial minority context
By joking about it. Which is not very funny.
I agree. Those of us who have never lived as minorities in the midst of a dominant majority, to which we seem not to belong, cannot understand how it feels to be constantly assumed to be foreign, not quite belonging. But we should try to understand. I agree; this is sensitive, and not a joke.
I agree. Those of us who have never lived as minorities in the midst of a dominant majority, to which we seem not to belong, cannot understand how it feels to be constantly assumed to be foreign, not quite belonging. But we should try to understand. I agree; this is sensitive, and not a joke.
A refreshing take on this... contrary to the handful on here that probably realized they got their foot stuck in their mouth
Well, I guess you should have slammed it on him. That'll show 'em.
You were instigating, by trying to cast light on a previous encounter that involved someone with a NEGATIVE intention (like you had with your remarks) which is irrelevant to the encounter of this post
OP my wife has this happen to her frequently. She's Korean-American, and speaks only English. We live in an area with a high population of various Asian ethnicities. Several times a week she tells me of people attempting to speak Chinese with her only to get upset when she cannot speak it back. I know she's tired of it.
Yesterday I held the door for this white man and he said "Xie Xie" (Chinese for thank you) and then when I had no response and no reaction, he said "Arigato" (Japanese)
Now I don't speak either language, I was aware of those greetings as many people who don't speak the language do, as others understand "Bonjour" etc. But just because I was Asian, he ASSUMED that I spoke the language. I am Chinese-American but that does not necessarily mean I speak Chinese or any other languages, just based on my race.
THEN, when I had no reaction again, he said "Are you Filipino"?!
I said "No I am not and you have been wrong!"
This is almost an opposite situation from the recent run ins I've had where I felt race was a trigger for encounters with rude strangers, in that this man "meant well" but "Thanks" would've sufficed, this is California 2018 after all. But the assumption about language ability and THEN ethnicity (with multiple failed attempts) just screamed ignorance.
It's not cute that just because you know 1 greeting in language X you use it on someone who you THINK comes from that country X.
Oh and this is not the 1st time something like this has happened
OP, in one of your earlier encounters, you felt racially threatened because of old ladies walking in "your" path.
This is a similar incident.
Yesterday I held the door for this white man and he said "Xie Xie" (Chinese for thank you) and then when I had no response and no reaction, he said "Arigato" (Japanese)
Now I don't speak either language, I was aware of those greetings as many people who don't speak the language do, as others understand "Bonjour" etc. But just because I was Asian, he ASSUMED that I spoke the language. I am Chinese-American but that does not necessarily mean I speak Chinese or any other languages, just based on my race.
THEN, when I had no reaction again, he said "Are you Filipino"?!
I said "No I am not and you have been wrong!"
This is almost an opposite situation from the recent run ins I've had where I felt race was a trigger for encounters with rude strangers, in that this man "meant well" but "Thanks" would've sufficed, this is California 2018 after all. But the assumption about language ability and THEN ethnicity (with multiple failed attempts) just screamed ignorance.
It's not cute that just because you know 1 greeting in language X you use it on someone who you THINK comes from that country X.
Oh and this is not the 1st time something like this has happened
Chill out. He was simply trying to extend a nice gesture to you by possibly using some words you were familiar with. It is no different than seeing a T shirt on someone and commenting on what it reads, simply a way to break the ice.
I just had breakfast over Thanksgiving at a hotel while we were traveling. We sat down at a table with a man and his two daughters, and they appeared to be Asian. We struck up a conversation, us asking questions and him asking questions, and after a while I said to him, "Where are you folks from ?", and he said "Georgia !" (not the answer I expected, but funny ! )
We continued to talk while eating, and at the end I told him my name and asked his, and he said "Mike". He was in no way offended, and we parted on friendly terms, giving him suggestions of what they might want to see in the area. I just figure he has either lived in America so long, or was born here, that he is simply Mike from Georgia !
You're of course welcome to feel however you want about this brief interaction. But your level of sensitivity will give you undue grief in life if you persist as such. You are making a mountain out of a molehill. It is much easier to overcome molehills than mountains.
Understand that it is embedded in human nature to make snap judgements based on superficial qualities such as race, speech, dress, and bearing - especially during brief, superficial interactions such as this. By replying either "No problem" or "Sorry, I only speak English" you would have provided him with a chance for meaningful education, or given him pause for his assumptions. You would have been able to turn what you perceived as a negative into a positive.
I know of many Western white people who live in Asia, speaking the language fluently and without accent, adopting the customs, embracing the culture, and eating and cooking local foods. I imagine if they had met a fellow Westerner and had children, those kids when grown would have received a similar reaction from a local Asian person as you had received from that gentleman, had they done something similar.
If a Brazilian or Peruvian of Asian descent had held the door for me in their respective countries, I wonder how I would react in that sudden moment? I probably would have said "Thank you," but not "Obrigado", and I would not have known that they only spoke Portuguese unless they informed me.
Lastly, in this time of erosion of common courtesy and civility, be glad he made an attempt to thank you. Most of the time, I receive little to no acknowledgement.
Yesterday I held the door for this white man and he said "Xie Xie" (Chinese for thank you) and then when I had no response and no reaction, he said "Arigato" (Japanese)
Sounds like the guy was harmless if a bit loopy, and trying to "virtue signal" by speaking a foreign language. I'd just let it go at that.
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(not the answer I expected, but funny ! 
