Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,709 posts, read 41,878,024 times
Reputation: 41446
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella
Having an opinion on the lonliness of another diner eating alone in a restaurant is not failing to mind one’s business. To achieve that status, one would have to express that opinion to the diner eating alone. But thinking about the sadness of someone eating alone is called empathy.
Well if you are eating with someone to notice someone else eating alone, you are giving the someone you are with attention making them potentially feel alone.
Empathy? Nope, it is being judgmental and holier than thou.
Well if you are eating with someone to notice someone else eating alone, you are giving the someone you are with attention making them potentially feel alone.
Empathy? Nope, it is being judgmental and holier than thou.
Not if you look at them carefully and make the effort to avoid appearing as if you are staring or noticing them. A quick glance, observe the reality, move on.
As for the alleged fun of eating with others versus the sorrow of eating alone, I hope the majority of diners eating with others are enjoying themselves. But there are undoubtedly some (many?) who aren't. Look at some of the threads here about what goes on between people, both in and out of restaurants. Snarky remarks/insults. Not really listening to each other---just waiting for the other person to stop talking to talk about themselves, much like parallel conversations of two year olds. Feeling neglected while dining companions use their phones. Not being present because YOU are using the phone. Being with complainers. Don't forget---a lot of people are eating together because they have to (family, co-workers/bosses, social obligations).
I forced myself for years to eat with other people often, both "friends" and strangers (I actually ran dining Meetup groups---crazy for an introvert, but I was seeing if I could change my evil ways.) I tried hard to make it look like I was having fun, but I seldom was. And remember, you may see people smiling widely when you see them eating out with others and it's posted on social media, but believe me, most weren't smiling throughout the meal. Most smiles end once the photo is taken.
I would truly enjoy good food with good companionship---if I could find it. People who cared what I had to say and weren't critical of it. Gentle, not mean, senses of humor. Decent table manners. Interesting talk about interesting subjects (for me, this isn't sports or celebrities or most TV shows or movies). And good behavior, people trying to be their best selves. The last meal I had out with "friends" (another couple), the female kept asking her husband to pass her napkins (he was sitting next to the dispenser). He got aggravated by one request too many and shoved the dispenser at her. It felt violent to me, then awkward (what do you say, where do you look when couples fight with each other in front of you rather than save it when they are alone?). It took away from what was already a mediocre get-together.
As for Disney World alone, if I were into amusement parks, I actually think that would be amazing---to do exactly what I wanted when I wanted. I know that it is meant for families/children and in theory it should be wonderful to experience through a child's eye, but there are downsides to being with kids: whining, tantrums, energy level, nonstop consumerism buying stuff they don't need. Just like with travel---I've read amazing memoirs from people who travel alone and many seem to have better/deeper experiences meeting more people, both locals and other tourists, than they would have if coupled or in a group.
I would truly enjoy good food with good companionship---if I could find it. People who cared what I had to say and weren't critical of it. Gentle, not mean, senses of humor.
This entire thread should be renamed "what is wrong with the world today" because over and over again you see this here.
Clearly there is an absolute epidemic of people who suck the life out of others and don't listen to them.
I have no problem eating alone. As long as I have something interesting to read or watch.
I'm definitely a loner, with dogs.
But i'm hardly a recluse. I give talks at libraries, colleges, historical societies etc. I'm on a museum board which also serves as a quasi-social club. I have a couple of longtime internet friends. But I'm still a loner, in that I spend 75% of my time alone at home. I enjoy people's company in small doses.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,709 posts, read 41,878,024 times
Reputation: 41446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella
Not if you look at them carefully and make the effort to avoid appearing as if you are staring or noticing them. A quick glance, observe the reality, move on.
It’s the thinking that you’re expressing that is giving off a vibe of holier than thou, not the looking.
I have no problem eating alone. As long as I have something interesting to read or watch.
I'm definitely a loner, with dogs.
But i'm hardly a recluse. I give talks at libraries, colleges, historical societies etc. I'm on a museum board which also serves as a quasi-social club. I have a couple of longtime internet friends. But I'm still a loner, in that I spend 75% of my time alone at home. I enjoy people's company in small doses.
This system has worked well enough so far.
If the system works for you, that's all that matters.
You feel sorry for the person and wish they were eating with a spouse or a good friend.
You do. I don't.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
