Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Is there some type of craft activity that they can do together? Perhaps, your older son and Grandma can make simple Christmas ornaments or fall or winter decorations for both your houses. If they are working with their hands it may not be as awkward as sitting on the couch staring at each other trying to think of conversational topics.
Perhaps, going for a walk together or going out for ice cream together. Is there some type of local activity that your family can do together? Perhaps, go to a children's museum or a nature preserve or a fall festival or something like that.
They also make memory book (types of things) where there are questions like "What do you like to do as a little girl?", "Share a favorite school memory." You could select a few of these topics that are not likely to trigger your mom.
I wish you well.
I have been giving this some thought. My mother was trained, and I was trained I suppose, to have everything taken care of before the "guest" arrives. However, I think good memories (and bad) are made through having experiences together.
Mom can be difficult in this regard. If something makes her feel uncomfortable in anyway or if she feels like it's not worth her attention she can raise a stink (this was like my grandmother in some ways, her mom). However, if it's an activity where there isn't any pressure to perform or it won't in any way wear her out she might enjoy it. So, for example.. she's really good at planning trips and shopping. Sometimes she enjoys helping me with either, going into a lot of detail and research, but other times she won't offer and barely wants to talk about it. I guess she's inconsistent.
So I think I'm going to ask my mom to help decorate the boys' birthday cakes (one kid has a birthday on Saturday, the other on Monday). I baked and froze the cakes a week or so ago, but I will assemble and frost one on each of their birthdays. I, in no way, expect to make them bakery-quality design. I just want them to taste good!
I also thought about a jigsaw puzzle.. the biggest issue with that are the cats... they LOVE them.. knocking down the pieces or laying on them...
We've played board games.. and I will get those out too...
I am looking for some ideas of good, easy and pleasant conversation starters and ideas that my boys and I can use with my mom who is coming to visit this week. Although I talk to her on the phone once a week or every other week we only see her once a year. I feel like I will mostly be fine, but even I have been blindsided by uncomfortable topics or statements. My boys are simply inexperienced with having conversations with older people and I want to guide them and give them help and confidence. I was mostly the same at their ages and I don't recall anyone actually helping me. I did a quick internet search, but the recommendations were more personal than I want to get into.. my mom has always been a private person... so I'm starting to wonder if we should treat this as someone we aren't exactly intimately related to.. like meeting some friend of the family? What kind of questions could my boys (13 and 16) ask to have a nice time with my mom at dinner?
How about asking her to bring any scrapbooks she might have, and everyone can go through the scrap books? I would think it could be cool for all of you to sit down and go through old pictures.
Ask her what her favorite things to do were, when she was the kids' ages. Ask her when she thought she was a full fledged adult. Did she feel "grown up" at 18 (for example) or was she younger or older than that? Was grandpa her first boyfriend? How did she know grandpa was "the one"? Did she have a certain "type"? Did grandpa fit the type? What were the fads when she was young? Was she popular in school? Did she ever go to a class reunion? Did she ever have crushes on movie stars? Who were they? Where did she grow up? If she had to work for a travel bureau, how would she persuade someone to visit her hometown?
OK, it would've been better if I'd read through the whole thread, and I admit, I didn't. Maybe asking about grandpa is not a good idea. But...I still think asking about boyfriends maybe, and if she had a 'type' and movie stars...I think it'd be a pleasant enough discussion.
Last edited by Sassybluesy; 10-07-2019 at 12:29 PM..
If she is comfortable with discussing her life, then you can buy her one of those Grandma books, and have the boys ask questions about her life. She can write things down in the book for them to have later.
As a grandma, myself, I have to say that it is up to grandma to ask them about themselves. One hopes she extends herself to act interested in the kids.
Suggestions: Take grandma to the boys' favorite restaurant, and have them share what they like to eat there. Plan a visit to a place you all can enjoy. Or plan a short drive out of town to an interesting site. Then everyone take pics on your phones.
I think simply including her in your day to day lives will give you opportunities for conversation. I also think that making too much of what the kids might say is putting a lot of pressure on them. Sure, kids ask personal questions. But grandma is an adult who should love her grandkids. She should be able to roll with whatever they throw at her.
Ask her what her favorite things to do were, when she was the kids' ages. Ask her when she thought she was a full fledged adult. Did she feel "grown up" at 18 (for example) or was she younger or older than that? Was grandpa her first boyfriend? How did she know grandpa was "the one"? Did she have a certain "type"? Did grandpa fit the type? What were the fads when she was young? Was she popular in school? Did she ever go to a class reunion? Did she ever have crushes on movie stars? Who were they? Where did she grow up? If she had to work for a travel bureau, how would she persuade someone to visit her hometown?
OK, it would've been better if I'd read through the whole thread, and I admit, I didn't. Maybe asking about grandpa is not a good idea. But...I still think asking about boyfriends maybe, and if she had a 'type' and movie stars...I think it'd be a pleasant enough discussion.
Just realize that Grandma is probably a baby boomer (like me). Most of us didn’t grow up in provincial time; we smoked dope, went on marches, lived thru the Vietnam war era and so many, many of us have had multiple marriages/relationships. We really didn’t have crushes on movie stars.....Your questions sound like things we would have asked our own grandmothers....
How about asking her to bring any scrapbooks she might have, and everyone can go through the scrap books? I would think it could be cool for all of you to sit down and go through old pictures.
Oh we aren't crafty and she never kept photos of us either. She never displayed a single photo of us (my sister or I). I think there might be a box of photos that she still keeps, but I haven't seen it in probably 30 years. After the grandkids came she did put a few of their photos on the fridge. Before the divorce she only made dinner, kept the house clean, read the paper front to back, planned trips and groomed herself. After the divorce she added in an outdoor social club (more heavy on the social), a couple book clubs (no longer meeting) and lots of outings with new friends (dinners, mostly, but some travel and one has a cabin).
Ask her what her favorite things to do were, when she was the kids' ages. Ask her when she thought she was a full fledged adult. Did she feel "grown up" at 18 (for example) or was she younger or older than that? Was grandpa her first boyfriend? How did she know grandpa was "the one"? Did she have a certain "type"? Did grandpa fit the type? What were the fads when she was young? Was she popular in school? Did she ever go to a class reunion? Did she ever have crushes on movie stars? Who were they? Where did she grow up? If she had to work for a travel bureau, how would she persuade someone to visit her hometown?
OK, it would've been better if I'd read through the whole thread, and I admit, I didn't. Maybe asking about grandpa is not a good idea. But...I still think asking about boyfriends maybe, and if she had a 'type' and movie stars...I think it'd be a pleasant enough discussion.
That's okay. I think it's great you came up with these questions and they were kind I could use with one of my grandmothers. She was the nicest person in my whole family and I miss her a lot.
Just realize that Grandma is probably a baby boomer (like me). Most of us didn’t grow up in provincial time; we smoked dope, went on marches, lived thru the Vietnam war era and so many, many of us have had multiple marriages/relationships. We really didn’t have crushes on movie stars.....Your questions sound like things we would have asked our own grandmothers....
Mom did many of these things. She doesn't like to talk about it.. I heard stories from my dad before they got divorced. My dad, on the other hand, LOVED telling stories from his youth and they were honestly a lot of fun and wacky.
I like the idea of asking her how things have changed in her lifetime - another poster mentioned asking her about her childhood.There must be some times that were good. What her favorite tv shows and movies were. Changes in clothing, how we prepare meals, transportation. Best book she ever read, school subjects she liked or hated ( your boys may have some in common).
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
