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I think your problem is your husband who does not act is if he cares about you, or your feelings. Have a frank talk with him, or revisit counselor who can help you and him talk through his actions, and your reactions.
To me, he sounds as if he really wants to be with this woman socially, no matter what. You need to know why.
Not worried about her friendship with your husband? I would rethink that as he defends her and trivializes your concerns. Why can't he hike with a male friend or a couple or a group? Why can't she hike with other women, a couple, or a group?
Exactly, add in that they don't live in the same area yet they manage to go on hiking and kayaking trips. Two interests that you're kind of out of contact and not easily reachable....hmmm.
These are activities where as you said you can find groups that are local if you're so interested in them.
There aren't a lot of straight men(especially if they're married) who have women friends, it's different if it's two couples who always socialize, but that's not what is going here.
There aren't a lot of straight men(especially if they're married) who have women friends, it's different if it's two couples who always socialize, but that's not what is going here.
Yes, in my experience men don't seek out women to be friends with, and a smart man doesn't add another couple to a trip with his wife so he can do activities without his wife.
Gee, I'm glad I'm not the paranoid type. I've had single male friends with no issues, and have no problem with my husband doing his outdoors stuff with a woman I've known for years.
BTW, she invited us out and bought us lunch today. I feel like she's finally stepping up to the plate.
Well in your title you called her an "acquaintance", not a woman you've known for years. Plus you wrote just as much or more about rather shabby treatment from your husband, in part while spending time with her and leaving you at the hotel. Hope you had a nice lunch.
I know a guy like this. I see him as a ten or eleven year old who has to b with his little friends or he'll be very very angry. Somehow, sometimes this actually continues. I see it as part of those guys' abusive narcissism now.
It is not about being paranoid, which wouldn't allow you to function normally in society. It is about going one step above being functional and having relationships that benefit you as well. But, people don't really need to strive for that as long as they can pay their bills.
Gee, I'm glad I'm not the paranoid type. I've had single male friends with no issues, and have no problem with my husband doing his outdoors stuff with a woman I've known for years.
BTW, she invited us out and bought us lunch today. I feel like she's finally stepping up to the plate.
Has nothing to do with being paranoid. It's called being aware. Maybe nothing is going on, but it's odd that the two of them share interests that have them being isolated from being around others.
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Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
What a miraculous turnaround.
Amazing isn't it.
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Originally Posted by Harpaint
Well in your title you called her an "acquaintance", not a woman you've known for years. Plus you wrote just as much or more about rather shabby treatment from your husband, in part while spending time with her and leaving you at the hotel. Hope you had a nice lunch.
It's pretty bad when your partner or even a friend takes the side of a stranger in another car while driving, and finds the OP always at fault.
My husband's friend called and asked if she could spend the night at our house tonight because she had business in our town and needed a place to stay.
We said sure. As arranged, she came by about 6pm. She brought a bottle of red wine. Neither of us drink wine, but she's about polished it off.
She talks endlessly about herself. If you change the subject, she wrests it back to her. After listening to her for an hour or so, I wandered off to my studio. Apparently, she didn't eat dinner before coming, just expected we'd feed her, even though she didn't ask and we didn't offer.
We eat around 4 or 5 pm every day, so weren't planning to cook again, but my husband fixed her some eggs.
Every time we make plans with her, I feel used.
For instance,
We gave her a ride from the airport to her mom's house an hour away, and she promised to buy us lunch. We got to her mom's house, and she decided she was too tired to eat, so we drove another hour home (we fed ourselves on the way).
A few weeks later, she came to our house for lunch. I expected her to invite us out, but she never did.
We arranged to meet her at an event. The event was cancelled right when she was supposed to meet us, so we waited around for half an hour to see her. We finally left, and she was upset we "stood her up" because she got there 35 minutes late. She didn't text to let us know she was running late, just a "where are you" after she got there.
The only thing she's "invited" us to do was housesit for her when she was travelling. Um....no thanks.
My husband gets mad at me when I complain that she needs to do a little payback, or she's just using us.
Hubster and I had plans to go to a balloon festival out of town. After making our plans, he mentioned that he'd invited his friend and her boyfriend to meet us there, and they'd all spend a couple days exploring the area. He suggested I could hang out in the hotel, or go shopping, except he was probably going to need the car. Sheesh. We just went to the balloon festival in Albuquerque and I decided I don't need to see more balloons any time soon, so I'll enjoy a few days at home.
Thanks if you've read this far, I needed to get it off my chest.
I'm not worried about her friendship with my husband. They both like to hike and kayak (and I don't); I like that he has someone to share the great outdoors, but I resent having to put up with a boring person who takes and takes.
Can her like tuna.
She can always find others to use. Trust me on that. And he can find someone else to kayak.
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