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Not sure what your train of thought is behind helping, but I beg of you one thing: If you are thinking of paying it just to get the calls to stop, you're:
1. Giving the collection companies what they want (and this may not be the only account that's behind - it may not stop all calls)
2. Paying a debt that's not yours
3. May be enabling and validating further indebtedness
4. Setting up a really awkward relationship where they now expect you to help
Offer to assess first, then educate. Do they intend to one day pay it, or does it not look like they will be able to begin paying on it in the foreseeable future? Are they willing to phone the company and make payment arrangements?
If not willing to, or unable to pay, offer to show them how to pull credit reports and see where this debt stands: Still w/ orig creditor (rights to collect) or with a 3rd party (no right to collect). If the latter, they could benefit w/ Lexington Law or similar services to wipe it out and stop the calls.
A debt collector once called me about my neighbor. I told her to go straight to hell.
However, I think you owe it to your brother to say something to him. I realize you don't want to embarrass him, but he needs to know what's up. Tell him that you won't tell another soul because, hey, your his brother. And never mention it again.
However, I think you owe it to your brother to say something to him. I realize you don't want to embarrass him, but he needs to know what's up. Tell him that you won't tell another soul because, hey, your his brother. And never mention it again.
Why should she tell the brother when she's already told the brother's wife? That would mean she is also telling him that his wife is concealing important info from him, which is a pretty insulting and baseless accusation.
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Why did a debt collector manage to call YOUR husband for info on your brother's wife???
Did he cosign for something one time?
Stay out of it.
I have had people call my cell phone looking for my ex-husband. I was divorced in 1997. I didn't even have this phone number when I was married. They will try anything and anybody.
I have had people call my cell phone looking for my ex-husband. I was divorced in 1997. I didn't even have this phone number when I was married. They will try anything and anybody.
Absolutely true. I have received calls from bill collectors looking for every one of my siblings. I didn'ty even have phone numbers for some.
My brother's wife (now ex for this reason) ran up debts behind my brother's back, causing them to get so far in debt ($100k) that they ended up having to mortgage a home they owned free and clear, and then she did it again and they had to file bankruptcy. If it was my brother and I knew, I would tell him. As a married couple he is also responsible for debts incurred during the marriage, and possibly even for some from before the marriage. If she is not paying the way she agreed, he may not know that.
My vote is for you to tell him discreetly when the wife isn't around, then let them deal with it on their own. Stay out of other people's money issues, but let him know in case she's hiding it from him. He may say that he knows already, so once you've told him, butt out unless he asks for help.
I agree with Shadow. Let him know that you've received the phone call and leave it at that. He should be made aware of any debt that he's attached to because he's married to the person who made the debt. Then just leave it at that unless he asks for help.
I'm honestly surprised at all the replies telling the OP to stay out of it. She isn't talking about spreading gossip; she knows for a fact that bill collectors are on the trail of her sister-in-law. And since her sister-in-law is married to the OP's brother, that means that her debts become his debts. He's on the hook for these unpaid debts, most likely.
Yes, the OP should tell her brother. Not in an accusatory way, but in an "I received a call about a debt that your wife owes" matter-of-fact sort of way. Tell him whatever the collector said and give him their number. Once the OP has done that, then she can remove herself from the situation with a clear conscience. But her brother has the right to know if his family members are being called by debt collectors because of his wife's debts.
A lot of times a 'legitimate' debt collector will try to go after an illegitimate debt. One that has been settled already years ago, or never really existed, or cannot be verified that it ever really existed because the company that held the alleged debt went into receivership years (sometimes decades) ago, and therefore no documentation can be obtained to prove or disprove a debt.
As an example, just because an attorney can go into a court with a photo copy of a late notice on a bill from 10 years ago doesn't mean it is sufficient proof of an existing debt. In fact, it is not proof of anything.
To keep harassing someone by phone when told to stop is illegal. The indebted person can take the collector to court for not providing legal proof of a debt, as in the above example, and also for continued harassment once put on notice. I personally know an alleged 'debtor' that was awarded $3K when he sued the collector, after he showed up at court to fight the attempted collection and had that thrown out. He asked in court for the plaintiff to prove his debt as he had asked in writing prior to being summoned to court. A debt collector cannot legally summon you to court based on a copy of an old bill.
First, you should look at the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act to know what your rights are regarding the harassment.
Second, discreetly tell you sister in law to look the FDCPA over too. These guys have specific rules they have to follow, including what documentation they can use to prove a debt, and many times will not bother to obey the rules.
Third, send letters requesting that they stop calling your telephone number regarding someone who does not live at your address or use that telephone number, or you will be forced to bring legal action against them for the unwarranted harassment they are inflicting on you. Send the letter certified/return receipt requested to prove you asked for proof of the debt and/or for the unwarranted collection calls to stop.
Stay in your lane. To do otherwise can cause more problems than it does help. It can even cause family problems because you are helping to screw her up when she hasn't asked for any help, and may not need any help.
Your SIL needs to show up at court if summoned, and hopefully will take a copy of her request for the collector to prove her debt with her and the signed returned receipt from that letter.
These guys depend on people ignoring the summons. They have even been known to hide them around the property so they can claim to have served you, but of course, you may not ever find it.
DONT ignore any summons. Courts look at that as an admission of guilt, even if you aren't truly guilty of anything.
(b) Communication with third parties
Except as provided in section 1692b of this title, without the prior consent of the consumer given directly to the debt collector, or the express permission of a court of competent jurisdiction, or as reasonably necessary to effectuate a postjudgment judicial remedy, a debt collector may not communicate, in connection with the collection of any debt, with any person other than the consumer, his attorney, a consumer reporting agency if otherwise permitted by law, the creditor, the attorney of the creditor, or the attorney of the debt collector.
^ This is the part that says they are not allowed to communicate with YOU. Your SIL already has a case against them for doing so, unless she gave them permission.
Last edited by ComeCloser; 11-04-2019 at 01:58 PM..
I'm honestly surprised at all the replies telling the OP to stay out of it. She isn't talking about spreading gossip; she knows for a fact that bill collectors are on the trail of her sister-in-law. And since her sister-in-law is married to the OP's brother, that means that her debts become his debts. He's on the hook for these unpaid debts, most likely.
Yes, the OP should tell her brother. Not in an accusatory way, but in an "I received a call about a debt that your wife owes" matter-of-fact sort of way. Tell him whatever the collector said and give him their number. Once the OP has done that, then she can remove herself from the situation with a clear conscience. But her brother has the right to know if his family members are being called by debt collectors because of his wife's debts.
Again, WHY tell the brother if she has already told the brother's wife about the debt collector call?
WHY assume this debt is some big secret? Do you really think this husband doesn't KNOW about his wife's 20-year old student loan?
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