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What this world has enough of is finger-wagging, tongue-clucking, condescending Judgy McJudgersons.
Personally, I think that people who won't pay their debts deserve some judgment.
To be sure, this may not apply to the OP's brother and SIL. Maybe they've already got a payment plan worked out and they're diligently working to clear off their debt. Presumably, they've paid the rent that they owe to the OP on time, so they've got that going for them. Maybe they made a genuine error in judgment in having the SIL pursue an avocation that they legitimately thought would have made them enough of an income, but it turned out they were wrong.
So, I'm not prepared to tar and feather the brother and SIL, at least not yet. But the fact that she has held a student loan for 20-some years is worrisome. (Aren't student loans supposed to have 10-year terms?) Especially since she should have had that loan paid off before she switched careers from cubicle drudge to free-spirit artist. Something in all this isn't quite right. And the OP, as a family member and their landlord and (maybe) their creditor for a car loan, is justified in being concerned.
Again, WHY tell the brother if she has already told the brother's wife about the debt collector call?
WHY assume this debt is some big secret? Do you really think this husband doesn't KNOW about his wife's 20-year old student loan?
You may be surprised at how reluctant some people are to discuss finances. In my opinion, the safest assumption is to assume that the brother knows nothing about this, and thus the OP is doing him a favor by alerting him to the fact of a debt that, most likely, he has some legal responsibility for, as a result of marrying the debtor.
Once the OP has informed her brother about the call from the debt collector, she will have fulfilled her moral duty (as I see it) and she can refrain from any further comment. But yes, I think she should not withhold this information from him.
(b) Communication with third parties
Except as provided in section 1692b of this title, without the prior consent of the consumer given directly to the debt collector, or the express permission of a court of competent jurisdiction, or as reasonably necessary to effectuate a postjudgment judicial remedy, a debt collector may not communicate, in connection with the collection of any debt, with any person other than the consumer, his attorney, a consumer reporting agency if otherwise permitted by law, the creditor, the attorney of the creditor, or the attorney of the debt collector.
^ This is the part that says they are not allowed to communicate with YOU. Your SIL already has a case against them for doing so, unless she gave them permission.
(b) Communication with third parties
Except as provided in section 1692b of this title, without the prior consent of the consumer given directly to the debt collector, or the express permission of a court of competent jurisdiction, or as reasonably necessary to effectuate a postjudgment judicial remedy, a debt collector may not communicate, in connection with the collection of any debt, with any person other than the consumer, his attorney, a consumer reporting agency if otherwise permitted by law, the creditor, the attorney of the creditor, or the attorney of the debt collector.
^ This is the part that says they are not allowed to communicate with YOU. Your SIL already has a case against them for doing so, unless she gave them permission.
yeah, that's the part that confused me too. I once got on a debt collection agencies call list because they had the wrong phone number and unfortunately the person that didn't pay her debt had the same first name as me. So, every time they called and asked for me, I'd say yes, this is she.. and then they'd get nasty. Every time they called, I told them not to contact me anymore but they didn't listen. I got so annoyed with their harassing phone calls that I tried to get them to give me info so I could contact the store or organization that person owed the debt to hopefully get off that collection list, but the collection agency wouldn't tell me anything. They were perfectly willing to confirm any info that I would voluntarily give them though.. but I wasn't about to do that.
It got to the point where they were threatening legal action, threatening to withhold my pay, jail time, all sorts of threats and my response was... go ahead.. knock yourself out. just stop calling me.. I still get calls from them to this day.
yeah, that's the part that confused me too. I once got on a debt collection agencies call list because they had the wrong phone number and unfortunately the person that didn't pay her debt had the same first name as me. So, every time they called and asked for me, I'd say yes, this is she.. and then they'd get nasty. I got so annoyed with their harassing phone calls that I tried to get them to give me info so I could contact the store or organization that person owed the debt to hopefully get off that collection list, but the collection agency wouldn't tell me anything. They were perfectly willing to confirm any info that I would voluntarily give them though.. but I wasn't about to do that.
It got to the point where they were threatening legal action, threatening to withhold my pay, jail time, all sorts of threats and my response was... go ahead.. knock yourself out. just stop calling me.. I still get calls from them to this day.
They try to collect on any record they find. Cases can be settled and debts long paid and they will still try to collect. Manytimes businesses will be long closed, and someone is still trying to collect a debt - for themselves. One reason this happens is when businesses or collectors don't update their files, and then sell the information on your alleged debt to another collector when you don't owe anything.
Don't assume someone is guilty, and don't assume its not a scam. Its good you didn't give them any personal info, but don't claim to be someone you are not, it only encourages them to keep after you because they assume you are the person they want, and are just lying.
Find out who they are, get their mailing address - then send them a request to stop harassing you. You can lie too, "I want to mail you a check." Send your request to stop Certified/Return Receipt so you can prove you notified them.
If these businesses and collectors were using a good moral compass, the Federal Trade Commission would have never needed to draft and pass the FDCPA.
They try to collect on any record they find. Cases can be settled and debts long paid and they will still try to collect. Manytimes businesses will be long closed, and someone is still trying to collect a debt - for themselves.
Don't assume someone is guilty, and don't assume its not a scam. Its good you didn't give them any personal info, but don't claim to be someone you are not, it only encourages them to keep after you because they assume you are the person they want, and are just lying.
Find out who they are, get their mailing address - then send them a request to stop harassing you. You can lie too, "I want to mail you a check." Send your request to stop Certified/Return Receipt so you can prove you notified them.
They assumed I was lying when I told them they had the wrong number. I honestly tried being nice in the beginning and would patiently explain they had the wrong person, but they never believed me. I'm normally a nice person but you can only push me so far and after the constant harassment that's when I just told them go head, do your worst, but stop calling me and I'd hang up.
I wouldn't say I'd send them a check because then they might really think I'm her.
Stay out of it and if a collector calls your number looking for information you don't know anything.
And if they ask for phone nos and address, just say you are not in touch.
You do not have an obligation to disclose and there are no repurcussions if you don't.
Quote article: "The debt collector may file a lawsuit against you if you ignore the calls and letters. If you then ignore the lawsuit, this could lead to a judgment and the collection agency may be able to garnish your wages or go after the funds in your bank account."
They try to collect on any record they find. Cases can be settled and debts long paid and they will still try to collect. Manytimes businesses will be long closed, and someone is still trying to collect a debt - for themselves. One reason this happens is when businesses or collectors don't update their files, and then sell the information on your alleged debt to another collector when you don't owe anything.
Don't assume someone is guilty, and don't assume its not a scam. Its good you didn't give them any personal info, but don't claim to be someone you are not, it only encourages them to keep after you because they assume you are the person they want, and are just lying.
Find out who they are, get their mailing address - then send them a request to stop harassing you. You can lie too, "I want to mail you a check." Send your request to stop Certified/Return Receipt so you can prove you notified them.
If these businesses and collectors were using a good moral compass, the Federal Trade Commission would have never needed to draft and pass the FDCPA.
Especially with student loans... where there are lawsuits and hearings ongoing right now due to the various abuses with respect to collection practices. These have been ongoing for years. I don’t think I know a single person paying back student loans who hasn’t had a collections call here or there, even though I don’t know a single person in default or making late payments. That is literally how they roll.
Why should she tell the brother when she's already told the brother's wife? That would mean she is also telling him that his wife is concealing important info from him, which is a pretty insulting and baseless accusation.
.
That is an incredibly over-the-top interpretation. It means no such thing. It is the simple reporting of a fact that a debt collector called the OP looking for information on her SIL.
Based on the original post, the OP does not have any indication that her brother is either aware or not aware of what is going on.
However, what any reasonable person will glean from this is that the debt collector is resorting to calling family members (And possibly neighbors) in order to enlist support. This means that things have reached an advanced state in the collections process. When I was called about my neighbor's debt, the tow truck showed up a few nights later and towed away their Mercedes.
In turn, this means that we're getting beyond a case of mild embarrassment. This could mean really dire things beginning to happen such as repo men towing away cars or foreclosure proceedings. At that point, if the brother is truly unaware, then he will have been caught flat-footed by his wife's hiding matters.
There are two scenarios that are most likely here:
1) Sister reports the collection call to the brother. The brother, made aware of the collection efforts by his wife, shrugs and either talks about it or doesn't. In which case, he isn't going to be mad at the sister for mentioning the call with a vow to keep it under wraps.
2) Sister reports the collection call to the brother. The brother, completely in the dark about what has been going on, realizes that some serious stuff has been hidden from him.
If the brother had no idea this was going on and later learns that the sister knew something about it and didn't mention the call to him, the damage is far, far greater. If I were the brother in that kind of scenario, I would be almost as ticked at the sister as I would be at my wife.
In either situation, the time for saving face is long past. And in those situations, blood is thicker than water.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 11-04-2019 at 04:04 PM..
Again, WHY tell the brother if she has already told the brother's wife about the debt collector call?
WHY assume this debt is some big secret? Do you really think this husband doesn't KNOW about his wife's 20-year old student loan?
Why assume she has? This wouldn't be the first time this has happened in the history of debt collection.
I have a family friend on my wife's side whose spouse took out huge loans without telling her husband. Victoria literally threw away every collection letter and blocked all phone calls. Completely stuck her head in the sand hoping it would go away. He literally had no idea until he went home to discover that his wife hung herself in the closet. She was a hot shot attorney with serious depression issues who made lots of money and spent a lot more than she made. The only silver lining in the entire sorry episode is that Grant was not a co-signer on anything.
If they are both aware of the financial trouble, then there is no real further embarrassment. After all, if debt collectors are calling the sister-in-law of the woman who owes, then they are calling other people, too. Their financial situation is already out in the open.
If, on the other hand, the brother is clueless about either the extent of the debt or how bad the collection attempts have become, he may be walking on the edge of a cliff and not even know it. I completely side with making sure the brother is aware.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 11-04-2019 at 04:05 PM..
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yeah, that's the part that confused me too. I once got on a debt collection agencies call list because they had the wrong phone number and unfortunately the person that didn't pay her debt had the same first name as me. So, every time they called and asked for me, I'd say yes, this is she.. and then they'd get nasty. Every time they called, I told them not to contact me anymore but they didn't listen. I got so annoyed with their harassing phone calls that I tried to get them to give me info so I could contact the store or organization that person owed the debt to hopefully get off that collection list, but the collection agency wouldn't tell me anything. They were perfectly willing to confirm any info that I would voluntarily give them though.. but I wasn't about to do that. 