Am I Being Inconsiderate? (business, guilty, person, member)
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I have a friend who asked me to buy a $100 pair of shoes in September. It's November now and he still has not paid me or picked up the shoes.
I knew this friend back in college (in the early 2000s) We are FB friends but never chatted or spoke all those years. Some time August I posted an old 90s photo (I rarely post) and he suddenly messaged me. We started chatting and I told him I am in the US (I was born and raised in another country). Out of politeness, I told him if he needs anything from the US, just tell me. Usually my friends would just say chocolates, supplements or shirt (small items considering the limited luggage space and weight) I wasn't expecting him to send me Amazon links to 2 basketball shoes and computer parts, all of which probably costs $500 I discouraged him from buying the computer parts because honestly, it's too much money for me to pay in the meantime. I have another friend who asked me to buy stuff for him and he gave me the money beforehand. I had to leave some of the gifts that family and friends gave me because my luggage was overweight. I was planning to tell him that I can't bring the shoes anymore but then his Mom passed away and I felt guilty for not doing him this favor so I told him I can only bring 1 pair home because I had to leave a lot of stuff already.
I knew him as a polite and considerate person and I was not expecting him to give me a hard time. I am not comfortable having to ask people to pay me. I told the story to another friend and he said I should be more understanding because he lost his Mom. Am I wrong for feeling pissed?
Learn from this going forward. You offered and he accepted.
No one is comfortable having to ask for their money back, that's why you have to be selective about whether or not to do it.
Thanks everyone. Unfortunately, the return window closed 2 weeks ago, and even if the return window was still open, I won't be able to return it because I am still outside the US.
I did not expect this kind of behaviour from him My problem is it will be hard to sell size 12 shoes because it's not a common shoe size where I am now (Asia).
So you bought the shoes and then brought them to Asia with you to give to him and he would give you their cost.
And now he has become dishonorable.
Approach him again. Remind him you cannot easily unload them in the land of the smaller foot.
If he is still not living up to his request that you buy him these shoes, bring them back to the states on your next trip and try to sell them in the states.
And cross him off your list of those for whom you stick things in your empty suitcase space.
I have a friend who asked me to buy a $100 pair of shoes in September. It's November now and he still has not paid me or picked up the shoes.
I knew this friend back in college (in the early 2000s) We are FB friends but never chatted or spoke all those years. Some time August I posted an old 90s photo (I rarely post) and he suddenly messaged me. We started chatting and I told him I am in the US (I was born and raised in another country). Out of politeness, I told him if he needs anything from the US, just tell me. Usually my friends would just say chocolates, supplements or shirt (small items considering the limited luggage space and weight) I wasn't expecting him to send me Amazon links to 2 basketball shoes and computer parts, all of which probably costs $500 I discouraged him from buying the computer parts because honestly, it's too much money for me to pay in the meantime. I have another friend who asked me to buy stuff for him and he gave me the money beforehand. I had to leave some of the gifts that family and friends gave me because my luggage was overweight. I was planning to tell him that I can't bring the shoes anymore but then his Mom passed away and I felt guilty for not doing him this favor so I told him I can only bring 1 pair home because I had to leave a lot of stuff already.
I knew him as a polite and considerate person and I was not expecting him to give me a hard time. I am not comfortable having to ask people to pay me. I told the story to another friend and he said I should be more understanding because he lost his Mom. Am I wrong for feeling pissed?
You're too nice. Shoes? Computer parts? Nope! Can you return them?!? Do it! Next time don't do it again.
Honestly, I think you are justified in telling him to pick up and pay for the shoes or you who sell them locally before you return to US. And in future remember he has told you volumes about his character. In future, do not trust him to keep his word.
Who knew that you can fly to a country but can't ship to them. Weird.
Yes you can ship them back and get a refund or store credit .
Otherwise donate them to an orphanage.
It depends on the store and length of time. Shipping internationally can be unreasonably expensive and could turn out to be almost the price of the shoes.
If the shoes are a unique commodity that people might like, then you could try selling as long as the ad is for free or minimal cost to you and you have the time and energy to put all that together.
Depending on which site(s) you use to sell, you can put/guess the cost of the international shipping of the shoes.
I sell online myself and have done international a number of times before, so I know how complicated it can get. It's not as straight forward at all as it should be sometimes.
Don't ask people again. Only buy anything if they are really close friends and pay in advance and ask you - don't offer. Lesson learned.
I usually only get asked by people I barely know while my friends are modest. I have no issues telling them that my luggage is already too heavy, sorry ….
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I discouraged him from buying the computer parts because honestly, it's too much money for me to pay in the meantime. I have another friend who asked me to buy stuff for him and he gave me the money beforehand. I had to leave some of the gifts that family and friends gave me because my luggage was overweight. I was planning to tell him that I can't bring the shoes anymore but then his Mom passed away and I felt guilty for not doing him this favor so I told him I can only bring 1 pair home because I had to leave a lot of stuff already.
My problem is it will be hard to sell size 12 shoes because it's not a common shoe size where I am now (Asia).
