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No one is comfortable having to ask for their money back, that's why you have to be selective about whether or not to do it.
Exactly. I thought he would pay up the first time I asked. I don't even know how to word my message when I have to ask him again.
When I sent him the message asking him to deposit the payment, his reply was "Ok. I'll try Monday". I said "Thank You" and he did not reply anymore. He did not even thank me for getting those shoes for him
He knows that I have no salary since June so I also need cash.
Quote:
Originally Posted by petsandgardens
And cross him off your list of those for whom you stick things in your empty suitcase space.
Definitely. He knows how important the luggage space was for me. He asked me to get him 2 shoes and I told him to choose which one I could return because I have no more space and can bring only one. I told him I have to leave gifts from family and friends because I don't have space anymore. I was hoping he would say to return both shoes but he didn't so I knew he really wanted it. But now I have to follow up for him to pay and get it.
It also looks like he expects me to pay for the shipping cost as well
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33
OP, unless he's extremely strapped for cash after funeral costs, no you're not being inconsiderate.
His Mom left for Europe in the 80s and had a new family there. They had mass and a get together here in Asia and he spent for that but I don't think it's a lot of money (compared to funeral cost)
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran
Honestly, I think you are justified in telling him to pick up and pay for the shoes or you who sell them locally before you return to US. And in future remember he has told you volumes about his character. In future, do not trust him to keep his word.
It looks like I will have to sell these shoes at a loss. I had to leave the box because it took so much space plus there aren't many size 12 Asians that will spend $100 on shoes. I am in a country where the minimum wage is equivalent to $10 per day.
I knew him in college as a nice guy and I did not expect him to do something like this. I should have returned the shoes since I have not seen him in almost 2 decades but I did not want to disappoint him since he lost his mother.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmic_girl
Exactly. I thought he would pay up the first time I asked. I don't even know how to word my message when I have to ask him again.
When I sent him the message asking him to deposit the payment, his reply was "Ok. I'll try Monday". I said "Thank You" and he did not reply anymore. He did not even thank me for getting those shoes for him
He knows that I have no salary since June so I also need cash.
Definitely. He knows how important the luggage space was for me. He asked me to get him 2 shoes and I told him to choose which one I could return because I have no more space and can bring only one. I told him I have to leave gifts from family and friends because I don't have space anymore. I was hoping he would say to return both shoes but he didn't so I knew he really wanted it. But now I have to follow up for him to pay and get it.
It also looks like he expects me to pay for the shipping cost as well
His Mom left for Europe in the 80s and had a new family there. They had mass and a get together here in Asia and he spent for that but I don't think it's a lot of money (compared to funeral cost)
It looks like I will have to sell these shoes at a loss. I had to leave the box because it took so much space plus there aren't many size 12 Asians that will spend $100 on shoes. I am in a country where the minimum wage is equivalent to $10 per day.
I knew him in college as a nice guy and I did not expect him to do something like this. I should have returned the shoes since I have not seen him in almost 2 decades but I did not want to disappoint him since he lost his mother.
I think you need to tell him you're about to sell the shoes you bought for him at a loss because you need the money. And if he still wants them please put the money in your account by tomorrow morning.
And then something like I really didn't expect this.
(The fact that he asked you to bring two huge pairs of shoes and computer parts totalling about $500, "that's your sign". He's a taker).
It depends on the store and length of time. Shipping internationally can be unreasonably expensive and could turn out to be almost the price of the shoes.
If the shoes are a unique commodity that people might like, then you could try selling as long as the ad is for free or minimal cost to you and you have the time and energy to put all that together.
Depending on which site(s) you use to sell, you can put/guess the cost of the international shipping of the shoes.
I sell online myself and have done international a number of times before, so I know how complicated it can get. It's not as straight forward at all as it should be sometimes.
Correct. Sometimes the shipping cost and tax is even higher than the cost of the shoes. He asked me to buy it for him in the US so he can save a lot of money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
Don't ask people again. Only buy anything if they are really close friends and pay in advance and ask you - don't offer. Lesson learned.
I usually only get asked by people I barely know while my friends are modest. I have no issues telling them that my luggage is already too heavy, sorry ….
Yes, lesson learned for me. I was so surprised when he asked me for 2 shoes and computer parts that totaled $500 considering we have not seen each other personally in almost 2 decades. I would be more disappointed now if I got him everything and not pay up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC
I think you need to tell him you're about to sell the shoes you bought for him at a loss because you need the money. And if he still wants them please put the money in your account by tomorrow morning.
And then something like I really didn't expect this.
(The fact that he asked you to bring two huge pairs of shoes and computer parts totalling about $500, "that's your sign". He's a taker).
I really did not want to buy the shoes anymore but I felt guilty to disappoint him because him Mom died But you are right on the "sign"
There's another sign, when I sent him a screenshot of the amount I paid in my card in Amazon where I used the local currency (It's a credit card issued in Asia) He told me why I didn't pay for it in US currency. He already saved money from shipping and taxes and he had to make that comment. I paid with local currency because he was paying me in local currency and not USD. It's simpler that way rather than having to compute exchange rates.
Last edited by cosmic_girl; 11-06-2019 at 03:48 PM..
Reason: add reply
cosmic_girl, I think you've been very patient with this person. I really don't know how you should proceed, but I have a feeling he is not going to pay for the shoes.
He's probably hoping you'll ship them to him before payment (that he'll never follow through with).
Thanks everyone. Unfortunately, the return window closed 2 weeks ago, and even if the return window was still open, I won't be able to return it because I am still outside the US.
I did not expect this kind of behaviour from him My problem is it will be hard to sell size 12 shoes because it's not a common shoe size where I am now (Asia).
Tried eBay? Amazon? Your "friend" is a slacker.
If he wants shoes, tell him about this wonderful thing known at "the internet." He can order stuff and stuff and he can spend his own credit card stuff on it.
I have a friend who asked me to buy a $100 pair of shoes in September. It's November now and he still has not paid me or picked up the shoes.
I knew this friend back in college (in the early 2000s) We are FB friends but never chatted or spoke all those years. Some time August I posted an old 90s photo (I rarely post) and he suddenly messaged me. We started chatting and I told him I am in the US (I was born and raised in another country). Out of politeness, I told him if he needs anything from the US, just tell me. Usually my friends would just say chocolates, supplements or shirt (small items considering the limited luggage space and weight) I wasn't expecting him to send me Amazon links to 2 basketball shoes and computer parts, all of which probably costs $500 I discouraged him from buying the computer parts because honestly, it's too much money for me to pay in the meantime. I have another friend who asked me to buy stuff for him and he gave me the money beforehand. I had to leave some of the gifts that family and friends gave me because my luggage was overweight. I was planning to tell him that I can't bring the shoes anymore but then his Mom passed away and I felt guilty for not doing him this favor so I told him I can only bring 1 pair home because I had to leave a lot of stuff already.
I knew him as a polite and considerate person and I was not expecting him to give me a hard time. I am not comfortable having to ask people to pay me. I told the story to another friend and he said I should be more understanding because he lost his Mom. Am I wrong for feeling pissed?
No way! Return those shoes ASAP and get your money back. This person went way over the line to even suggest you would purchase such expensive items. I can’t imagine what possessed you in the first place!
It depends on the store and length of time. Shipping internationally can be unreasonably expensive and could turn out to be almost the price of the shoes.
If the shoes are a unique commodity that people might like, then you could try selling as long as the ad is for free or minimal cost to you and you have the time and energy to put all that together.
Depending on which site(s) you use to sell, you can put/guess the cost of the international shipping of the shoes.
I sell online myself and have done international a number of times before, so I know how complicated it can get. It's not as straight forward at all as it should be sometimes.
Thank you for making this post. You are aware that these items were ordered thru Amazon. Which can ship directly and does accept returns.
And I have my "shipping" degree from the business that I worked for. I know the postal rules for what can and cannot be shipped. As does Amazon. Sneakers aren't banned . This poster simply got hoodwinked and is now regretting her gesture. I don't begrudge her that feeling. I do think it's a reflection on that moocher though.
Thank you for making this post. You are aware that these items were ordered thru Amazon. Which can ship directly and does accept returns.
And I have my "shipping" degree from the business that I worked for. I know the postal rules for what can and cannot be shipped. As does Amazon. Sneakers aren't banned . This poster simply got hoodwinked and is now regretting her gesture. I don't begrudge her that feeling. I do think it's a reflection on that moocher though.
While this is true, shipping back to (and from) Amazon when out of the states can a huge pain in the ass.
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I discouraged him from buying the computer parts because honestly, it's too much money for me to pay in the meantime. I have another friend who asked me to buy stuff for him and he gave me the money beforehand. I had to leave some of the gifts that family and friends gave me because my luggage was overweight. I was planning to tell him that I can't bring the shoes anymore but then his Mom passed away and I felt guilty for not doing him this favor so I told him I can only bring 1 pair home because I had to leave a lot of stuff already.
