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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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This is just a thread for those who have decided or have had decided to not spend Thanksgiving with their family of origin but with others who are not blood related, but are like a family. Thanksgiving can be a difficult holiday if like me you can’t really spend it with your blood family for selected reasons. But breaking bread with friends is one of the best ways to enjoy the holiday.
One thing I’m grateful for is that my mother is very understanding that due to my job status the last few years visiting her for Thanksgiving has not been possible but other holidays have been good substitutes, especially Veterans Day since it is right before Thanksgiving. Last year, especially was a great Thanksgiving with two of my closest friends. Had a great meal, celebrated one of their birthdays, and had a great time at a casino. This year, we are having a Thanksgiving weekend out on the Eastern Shore.
Friendsgiving has been a gift especially for my friends who have been rejected by family for their lifestyles. From being not straight, for their religious views (in my case not having any), political views, Thanksgiving is not a day of dread any longer thanks to loving friends who are willing to share together.
One place I worked that hired a lot of seasonal field biologists had "the Orphans Club". Those seasonal hires were usually single, recently out of college, dirt poor from college debt, hundreds of miles from family, renting dry cabins or basements while trying to break in to the profession. The Orphans Club holiday potlucks were legendary, but you learned not to question the cooks too closely. You might be eating muskrat or roadkill rabbit stew.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-23-2019 at 03:52 PM..
Friendsgiving can be great but difficult to achieve. One year, I had a pseudo-Friendsgiving with me (unattached at the time), 2 other guys who were unattached, and the parents and a sibling of one of the other unattached guys. It was one of the best Thanksgivings I ever had.
I've had a Thanksgiving where I was unattached and went to a married but childless friend's home. That was less comfortable. Even though that couple was childless, the wife in that couple had a sister with children and it was all the wife's family and I am friends with the husband. In a situation like that, it is better to stay home alone.
The best Thanksgiving is the one not celebrated. My overall favorite Thanksgiving was one with a girlfriend where we just had sex for a good portion of the day.
This is just a thread for those who have decided or have had decided to not spend Thanksgiving with their family of origin but with others who are not blood related, but are like a family. Thanksgiving can be a difficult holiday if like me you can’t really spend it with your blood family for selected reasons. But breaking bread with friends is one of the best ways to enjoy the holiday.
One thing I’m grateful for is that my mother is very understanding that due to my job status the last few years visiting her for Thanksgiving has not been possible but other holidays have been good substitutes, especially Veterans Day since it is right before Thanksgiving. Last year, especially was a great Thanksgiving with two of my closest friends. Had a great meal, celebrated one of their birthdays, and had a great time at a casino. This year, we are having a Thanksgiving weekend out on the Eastern Shore.
Friendsgiving has been a gift especially for my friends who have been rejected by family for their lifestyles. From being not straight, for their religious views (in my case not having any), political views, Thanksgiving is not a day of dread any longer thanks to loving friends who are willing to share together.
I hope you have a great time.'
A friend of mine goes to an "orphan's Thanksgiving" at the home of friends. They are all basically older adults who have no family to spend the holiday with or family that they don't want to spend the holiday with.
My friend has a sister, but they don't get along, and after their mother died, they gave up the pretense.
My only relative doesn't do holidays. I don't mind being alone (I'm a widow) but this year I will be at a friend's house with her and her mom. She is NOT doing the turkey thing, but she's a good cook. OK with me. Hope the weather holds up!!
I am currently in France, and we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here. I am however spending time with my French ( non blood) family. Looks like I’ll do the same for Christmas.
I tried to do Friendsgivings with people who were friends I had not yet met----i.e. strangers in a Meetup group. Did it for both Thanksgiving and Christmas numerous times. In theory it was a wonderful thing---getting together 10 to 60 people at a restaurant or someone's home, people who would have been all alone. But in reality we didn't have much in common other than the fact that we would have been alone...and even though they were niche Meetup groups---vegan on Thanksgiving for people who didn't want to consume animal products and Baby Boomers on Christmas day. The truly weird thing was that so many people seemed unhappy during these dinners----not grateful and happy to have the opportunity to be with others and potentially make new friends, but definitely not into making the most of it. It was obvious that these dinners were "second best"---better at being home on a holiday but with not much other value beyond that.
I do think a true Friendsgiving could be wonderful if people are actually friends or have the right attitude...
This is just a thread for those who have decided or have had decided to not spend Thanksgiving with their family of origin but with others who are not blood related, but are like a family. Thanksgiving can be a difficult holiday if like me you can’t really spend it with your blood family for selected reasons. But breaking bread with friends is one of the best ways to enjoy the holiday.
One thing I’m grateful for is that my mother is very understanding that due to my job status the last few years visiting her for Thanksgiving has not been possible but other holidays have been good substitutes, especially Veterans Day since it is right before Thanksgiving. Last year, especially was a great Thanksgiving with two of my closest friends. Had a great meal, celebrated one of their birthdays, and had a great time at a casino. This year, we are having a Thanksgiving weekend out on the Eastern Shore.
Friendsgiving has been a gift especially for my friends who have been rejected by family for their lifestyles. From being not straight, for their religious views (in my case not having any), political views, Thanksgiving is not a day of dread any longer thanks to loving friends who are willing to share together.
Does my spending it with my wife at her late mother's and living stepfather's home, with his surviving family count?
Glad you have found a new tradition with friends that gives you joy. And it's nice that your mom understands. There are so many threads on here about dreading the holiday that it's good to see this one. Maybe someone needed to see this who had wondered if there's a better way.
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