your view of Thanksgiving (wife, person, member, holiday)
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I love Thanksgiving! Then again, I don’t have family to put up with. All my folks have either died out, don’t keep in touch or I have eliminated them from my life because they are toxic. It’s just me and my son. Mostly me this year because son is going to his gf’s house.
The original idea behind Thanksgiving when it was created in the 1600s made sense. The idea is that is was to be a feast expressing thankfulness to God and an expression of unity between Pilgrims and Native Americans.
A lot has changed since then. The culture has shifted. The shifts in the culture and the expression of celebration have outlived its useful purpose. Thanksgiving in its current form barely resembles the original intent of the holiday.
One of the greatest themes in the complaints about Thanksgiving has to do with family structure. Family structures have changed immensely over the centuries, but our expectations about togetherness have not changed, and that's a cause of friction. I don't think we should have the expectation of togetherness anymore. Divorces and multiple partnerships have led to some pretty uncomfortable familal arrangments. In addition to that, families are frequently more geographically scattered than they once were. The strain of travel, mostly by either car or airplane, at times when roads and airports are highly crowded does not lead to people being in a joyful mood.
Thanksgiving is only one day. It can be extended into a 4 day weekend. Going through the headaches of travel if longer distances are involved to eat one meal with family members who may/may not be sources of joy in one's life isn't really worth it.
The dual emphasis on food and on consumer consumption are additional aspects of the holiday that need change. In the 1600s, our lifestyles were less sedentary. In a time of great obesity, there should be a cultural de-emphasis of food, and a greater emphasis on activity. Overeating is bad, especially when the culture as a whole needs to lose weight. Spectator sports are also a contributing factor to this, as spectator sports do not encourage us to be healthy but rather encourage us to be sedentary, and engage in more consumption. We're consuming food either at a stadium or in front of the TV set. At either a stadium or in front of TV set, advertisers are paying good $$$ to get their brand messages in front of us, encouraging consumption patterns that might not be good for our overall well being.
Ultimately, it comes down to our own personal choices, the way we express ourselves, and the updating of how we perceive the holiday. As a collective culture, we need to adjust our familal expectations. We should not expect family members to drop everything and spend time with us eating a meal on the 4th Thursday in November. We don't have that expectation for the 2nd Wednesday in August, so why randomly in November? We also need to realize that numerous notions regarding the holiday and its role in culture are outdated. Families don't live close to each other anymore, large scale travel in a compact time frame is difficult, and family blending due to the outmoded notion lifelong monogamy isn't serving any of us well anymore. We need to de-emphasize food and emphasize our own personal well being. Doing all of this will help us relieve the negative energy surrounding the day.
Pros: A very good meal with so many yummy leftovers, which means I don't have to cook as much for the next ten days; and the start of the Christmas season.
Cons: A lot of cooking and house cleaning and a "ton" of dirty dishes; and I feel sad that we don't have a "Hallmark" kind of family get-together with lots of kids and relatives around. (We're retired and live at least a thousand miles away from our extended families.)
It's always been a time for my entire family to get together and have some catching-up conversations. Unlike some, my extended family gets along pretty well especially when considering the huge growth in numbers. We've also lost some people in the last decade but more babies are filling in those gaps.
This year we won't be having the big group get together at my sisters as we are all getting up there in age and driving long distances at night in the winter makes little sense. My wife and I will go to my daughter's house and share a meal with her and her kids, I'm lucky to have these people in my life and Thanksgiving day I'll celebrate that..
Thanks, RJ312, for the long effort, appreciate it.
Personally, growing up in the 1970s and 1980s I felt all the positives of Thanksgiving and thought it was the one holiday that wasn't completely ruined by commercialism.
I lived outside the US for almost all of of the 1990s and into the early 2000s, and now I too see it the way you describe - opening stores on the day itself was the last straw for me -, I don't bother visiting extended family - no joy -, and even among my immediate family we don't bother with the traditional Thanksgiving food, it's tiresome, and make instead what we all feel more comfortable with, so no negative energy.
All the best!
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
The original idea behind Thanksgiving when it was created in the 1600s made sense. The idea is that is was to be a feast expressing thankfulness to God and an expression of unity between Pilgrims and Native Americans.
A lot has changed since then. The culture has shifted. The shifts in the culture and the expression of celebration have outlived its useful purpose. Thanksgiving in its current form barely resembles the original intent of the holiday.
One of the greatest themes in the complaints about Thanksgiving has to do with family structure. Family structures have changed immensely over the centuries, but our expectations about togetherness have not changed, and that's a cause of friction. I don't think we should have the expectation of togetherness anymore. Divorces and multiple partnerships have led to some pretty uncomfortable familial arrangements. In addition to that, families are frequently more geographically scattered than they once were. The strain of travel, mostly by either car or airplane, at times when roads and airports are highly crowded does not lead to people being in a joyful mood.
Thanksgiving is only one day. It can be extended into a 4 day weekend. Going through the headaches of travel if longer distances are involved to eat one meal with family members who may/may not be sources of joy in one's life isn't really worth it.
The dual emphasis on food and on consumer consumption are additional aspects of the holiday that need change. In the 1600s, our lifestyles were less sedentary. In a time of great obesity, there should be a cultural de-emphasis of food, and a greater emphasis on activity. Overeating is bad, especially when the culture as a whole needs to lose weight. Spectator sports are also a contributing factor to this, as spectator sports do not encourage us to be healthy but rather encourage us to be sedentary, and engage in more consumption. We're consuming food either at a stadium or in front of the TV set. At either a stadium or in front of TV set, advertisers are paying good $$$ to get their brand messages in front of us, encouraging consumption patterns that might not be good for our overall well being.
Ultimately, it comes down to our own personal choices, the way we express ourselves, and the updating of how we perceive the holiday. As a collective culture, we need to adjust our familal expectations. We should not expect family members to drop everything and spend time with us eating a meal on the 4th Thursday in November. We don't have that expectation for the 2nd Wednesday in August, so why randomly in November? We also need to realize that numerous notions regarding the holiday and its role in culture are outdated. Families don't live close to each other anymore, large scale travel in a compact time frame is difficult, and family blending due to the outmoded notion lifelong monogamy isn't serving any of us well anymore. We need to de-emphasize food and emphasize our own personal well being. Doing all of this will help us relieve the negative energy surrounding the day.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Clean the house, spend a fortune buying a bunch of foods, spend a day and a half or more cooking, and try to eat while hopping up and down making sure everyone gets enough of everything. Then at least two loads in the dishwasher, leftovers to pack up and squeeze into the fridge, and then time to serve desserts. What's not to like? Yes, it's a lot of work for those of us that host (13 people this year) but I still look forward to it every year. We don't really have any annoying, objectionable or oddball relatives, but many of our extended family are in another state and not coming.
I think that all of the various expectations about what it should be create a lot of disappointment and depending on who you’re going to spend it with, can be the game changer that takes it great, meh or awful.
Personally, I’d love a pot luck where people are asked to bring a side or a dessert or an appetizer of their choice so no one has to do too much cooking and cleaning and just a relaxed time where everyone sits down to enjoy a meal together.
My current situation involves a very micromanaged pot luck where we have to bring exactly what we’re told with no variation which I find annoying because I actually like to cook and bake and would rather not be a assigned something so specific that I have no interest in making. It also is a gathering where people grab a plate and don’t sit together to eat and I think that‘s weird. For me, it’s currently a big old “meh”. Not great but not awful.
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