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"I'm sorry I suggested Miriam has asperger's, as I've gotten to know her I realize nothing could be further from the truth".
OR
"I'm sorry I brought up Miriam's Asperger's symptoms to you. Surely you realized she has those characteristics and I didn't need to bring it up, particularly on a first meeting with you".
I don’t think you have to be that detailed. OP can just say “I apologize if I offended you in our conversation last week. I realized I overstepped my bounds and it was not my intention. I hope you can forgive me and we can move past this.”
Two years ago, I met a girl at math class in college--I'll refer to her as Miriam (not her real name). We became friends. I noticed that she acted just like my friends with Asperger's. After a few months, I decided to introduce myself to her mom. I said that I had several friends with Asperger's, and Miriam reminds me of them. I asked if Miriam had Asperger's. After a long awkward silence, and Miriam seeming rather embarrassed, her mom said, "oh, I think she's doing fine," declining to comment any further.
Why is Miriam still friends with you? Had you said something like this about me to my mom in front of me, I'd've shown you the door.
I don’t think you have to be that detailed. OP can just say “I apologize if I offended you in our conversation last week. I realized I overstepped my bounds and it was not my intention. I hope you can forgive me and we can move past this.”
Except it wasn't last week. It was two years ago. She may not even remember what conversation the OP is referring to.
Two years ago, I met a girl at math class in college--I'll refer to her as Miriam (not her real name). We became friends. I noticed that she acted just like my friends with Asperger's. After a few months, I decided to introduce myself to her mom. I said that I had several friends with Asperger's, and Miriam reminds me of them. I asked if Miriam had Asperger's. After a long awkward silence, and Miriam seeming rather embarrassed, her mom said, "oh, I think she's doing fine," declining to comment any further. I also invited Miriam to visit my church (I'm an Evangelical Protestant), after which her mom said they go to Catholic Mass every Sunday, and would have to "discuss this with Miriam." I then asked what her name was. She seemed a bit annoyed, and simply said "Mrs. Smith" (not her real last name).
Thankfully, Miriam quickly forgave me for my faux pas, although she said her mom thought that my questions were rude. She explained that her mom thought my invitation to my church was rude as they believed Catholicism and Evangelical Christianity were basically the same thing. Also, she explained that people our age called her mom Mrs. Smith.
Miriam and I are friends on Facebook. But other than that one encounter with her mom, I haven't met any of her family. Occasionally Miriam's mom posts on Miriam's Facebook.
Should I apologize to her mom in a Facebook message? A facebook message would only be seen by her mom and I. Her mom is not friends with me on Facebook, though. Do you think she would be annoyed with me sending a Facebook message to her as an apology? Or would she not care and have no reaction to it? Or would she be glad that I apologized to her?
Do not put personal issues on Facebook. Catholics do not go to Protestant churches. My children call the older generation Mr or Mrs also. What are you after? Do you want to date a catholic autistic girl? If you have a friend, that’s great, but why are you pushing your church on her?
Do not reach out. This happened two years ago. She’’ll definitely think you’re weird to bring it up now. Let it go.
That train has left the station.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot
Who says things like that? Why would you decide to introduce yourself to the mom, Miriam would have done that if she wanted you to meet her. Why would you ask her name? She would be Mrs. Smith unless she told you differently! That is basic manners. Asking people to visit your church when they already have a faith is rude and no one thinks Catholics and Evangelicals are the same thing.
I can't believe you thought any of this should have been brought up in conversation with a person you don't know.
Two years ago, I met a girl at math class in college--I'll refer to her as Miriam (not her real name). We became friends. I noticed that she acted just like my friends with Asperger's. After a few months, I decided to introduce myself to her mom. I said that I had several friends with Asperger's, and Miriam reminds me of them. I asked if Miriam had Asperger's. After a long awkward silence, and Miriam seeming rather embarrassed, her mom said, "oh, I think she's doing fine," declining to comment any further. I also invited Miriam to visit my church (I'm an Evangelical Protestant), after which her mom said they go to Catholic Mass every Sunday, and would have to "discuss this with Miriam." I then asked what her name was. She seemed a bit annoyed, and simply said "Mrs. Smith" (not her real last name).
Thankfully, Miriam quickly forgave me for my faux pas, although she said her mom thought that my questions were rude. She explained that her mom thought my invitation to my church was rude as they believed Catholicism and Evangelical Christianity were basically the same thing. Also, she explained that people our age called her mom Mrs. Smith.
Miriam and I are friends on Facebook. But other than that one encounter with her mom, I haven't met any of her family. Occasionally Miriam's mom posts on Miriam's Facebook.
Should I apologize to her mom in a Facebook message? A facebook message would only be seen by her mom and I. Her mom is not friends with me on Facebook, though. Do you think she would be annoyed with me sending a Facebook message to her as an apology? Or would she not care and have no reaction to it? Or would she be glad that I apologized to her?
I just think such followup is unnecessary. You shouldn't need to come crawling to this girl's mother, groveling over perfectly innocuous conversation to which she chose to take offense. IMHO she doesn't deserve it. It is not warranted (and neither was her reaction nor were her ensuing ruffled feathers).
You may be a little OCD about tying up loose ends. But I believe in certain cases, such as this, forgetting is better than forgiving - something which may never truly come at all from this lady.
Do not put personal issues on Facebook. Catholics do not go to Protestant churches. My children call the older generation Mr or Mrs also. What are you after? Do you want to date a catholic autistic girl? If you have a friend, that’s great, but why are you pushing your church on her?
A few answers to your questions:
1. While interning, my supervisors and coworkers (all who were much older than me) would introduce themselves to me by their first name. I thought I was old enough to where I don't have to call someone Mr. or Mrs. except in formal speech/writing.
2. "Catholics do not go to Protestant churches." But if Miriam invited me to come to Catholic mass, I would go, but as an observer, not a worshipper. I wouldn't take part in Catholic communion, for example, because I believe the Lord's supper is purely symbolic.
Miriam's older sister became a Protestant (Presbyterian) and took Miriam to visit her church. So I think the real issue is not resistance to going to a Protestant church but rather Mrs. Smith not knowing me, and therefore not being comfortable with me taking her daughter to church.
3. I'm not interested in dating at all at this moment.
This thread reminds me of the guy who cut the girl’s hair in high school 10 years ago and is still obsessing about it.
Well, you've got to have some good memories, right? Like that one time you shook Kobe Bryant's hand
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