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I have a friend who I've not met in person, lives in a nearby region and has talked to me often for about a year. As much as I hate to do this, I'm considering suggesting to him and mom about meeting in person, as I have only two other proper friends who aren't constantly busy (one a mutual one).
Also, I've started talking to another guy I may/may not be romantically interested in and seems to have things in common with me either way (apparently my other proper friend is a mutual one of us), but I don't know how long before I should suggest meeting up with him.
Lastly, I'll probably have to start online dating if my luck finding a boyfriend doesn't miraculously improve soon. Although this wouldn't be non-romantic on its own, I'm including it because the same principle would probably apply.
What do you mean by suggesting to "mom" about meeting in person? How old are you?
Through online dating, I've met people as early as the same day as we messaged. I've been with my boyfriend for close to 4 years that way.
With longer term online friendships, I also think earlier is better. You build up an idea of who a person is based on your digital interactions that often isn't the full picture. The longer you have to build up that persona, the harder the fall if it doesn't match.
What do you mean by suggesting to "mom" about meeting in person? How old are you?
I'll be 17 in mid March.
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Through online dating, I've met people as early as the same day as we messaged. I've been with my boyfriend for close to 4 years that way.
With longer term online friendships, I also think earlier is better. You build up an idea of who a person is based on your digital interactions that often isn't the full picture. The longer you have to build up that persona, the harder the fall if it doesn't match.
I fear I may not be able to do that. I greatly fear making her and/or the other person uncomfortable. She can be overprotective, and I feel terrible every time I realize I've accidentally made someone uncomfortable.
The time frame isn’t as important in this situation as your age and emotional maturity. Since you are only 16, I would not recommend meeting someone who is long distance.
I know it’s not ideal, but I think your time to shine will be in college. Your posts indicate some enmeshment issues with your mom, and you need counseling for that.
People also need to know for context that you’re a gay male in a small town.
I have a friend who I've not met in person, lives in a nearby region and has talked to me often for about a year. As much as I hate to do this, I'm considering suggesting to him and mom about meeting in person, as I have only two other proper friends who aren't constantly busy (one a mutual one).
Also, I've started talking to another guy I may/may not be romantically interested in and seems to have things in common with me either way (apparently my other proper friend is a mutual one of us), but I don't know how long before I should suggest meeting up with him.
Lastly, I'll probably have to start online dating if my luck finding a boyfriend doesn't miraculously improve soon. Although this wouldn't be non-romantic on its own, I'm including it because the same principle would probably apply.
When I was doing OLD, I met the person as soon after starting to talk as possible. This was one reason I only dated local people. I would never talk to anyone for a whole year. It doesn't tell you anything about them really, look at how many get catfished.
My longest OLD relationship (3+ years) he lived about 15 minutes away from me. He wrote the first time asking if I wanted to meet for coffee if I liked his profile. I said "sure, whats your phone number?" I called, we spoke for 10 minutes, then made plans to meet the following Sunday at a local restaurant/bar to watch the Eagles game.
As long as you're meeting in public, IMO being face to face with someone will tell you more about them in 10 minutes than 5 years online. How far is this person from you, and why haven't you met yet?
Oh goodness...I just saw that you're 16. Disregard, don't meet strangers.
When I was doing online dating I had the rule of 3’s.
*No one who lives more than 30 miles away
*No more than 3 emails (in the app) before we set up a meeting
*No more than 30 min. For the first meeting and it had to be for coffee or ice cream — no real date
There are lots of reasons:
* No more than 30 miles away eliminates all the many,many problems with long distance dating. The farther away they live, the easier for deception
*More than 3 emails/messages in the dating app keeps someone from knowing your private email or text. Max 3 emails keeps someone from engaging your emotions before actually meeting. There are many “catfishes” out there and/or people who you won’t be interested in once you meet even if you like them via media/texts/emails.
*Max 30 min first meeting and only a coffee/ice cream because a whole meal would be terribly awkward if you didn’t like eachother and also then there’s also awkwardness over how a meal is paid for between 2 people who don’t hit it off. More often than not you will not be attracted to the other person, so save yourself the torture of a meal.
I've tried everything else I know to try. Even making proper friends is way too difficult for me, let alone a boyfriend.
Give yourself time. I know it feels like everyone else your age in the world is dating, but I promise, they aren't. You're only 16. Still young.
I've been on and off online dating for years, and I don't think it's a healthy environment for teenagers. Hell, I don't think it's a healthy environment for most adults, to be honest. But at least there's a level of maturity that teens don't yet possess.
I've long been past the point that I can just give up. I'm mentally incapable of it, and I probably have been for almost three years now.
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I know it feels like everyone else your age in the world is dating, but I promise, they aren't. You're only 16. Still young.
For one, I also meant this to be about friends I wasn't romantically interested in too. It seems that last point has drifted the topic.
Anyways, I don't pursue something just because it's what others have. Nor do I pursue it just to stand out for my age. I genuinely feel the need for the romance in itself, and I can't help feeling incomplete without it.
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