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She sounds like a real PITA. I'd tell her to pick a table 'because we're not moving again.' A whole group of people and only one complains? It's her.
As for her rudeness, just let her know it embarrasses all of you when she can't be nice about simple mistakes the wait staff makes and rudeness isn't necessary.
Let her pick the place next time. Does this only happen in places you suggest?
If she is being rude to the wait staff for your whole table, *I* would then have my own concerns about the waiters spitting in MY food. Just sayin'...
Some people are just like this, and it sounds like she is not going to change her ways. If it bothers you too much, think of other things to do besides dinner that she shouldn't have a problem with.
For example. I can think of at least 7 times we have gone to dinner and had to move tables because she didn’t like where we were seated. To close to the kitchen, a draft, to hot, doesn’t like a high top table etc. sometimes there are several people and her husband will ask if we can move and then we all have to pick up our drinks (if we had gotten there first and then she got and didn’t like the table) and move. Then many times she will complain about the wait staff. Will be rude to them if they don’t bring something right away. If her check has someone else’s appetizer on it she will get angry instead of just asking them nicely to fix it. I don’t understand how she doesn’t realize how she is.
There's no question here. I can see how you might not understand someone else's perspective of how they are, though.
Let her pick the place next time. Does this only happen in places you suggest?
If she is being rude to the wait staff for your whole table, *I* would then have my own concerns about the waiters spitting in MY food. Just sayin'...
Some people are just like this, and it sounds like she is not going to change her ways. If it bothers you too much, think of other things to do besides dinner that she shouldn't have a problem with.
I concur. I'm glad I don't know any people who behave that way in public. Entitlement, lol.
We have friends we stopped going out to eat with because he always not only had an issue with the menu, the food, the service, etc. Him complaining about it was bad enough, but the whole meal became his platform for the rant about it and then move to other things. To make matters worse, his wife would get all distressed that he was unhappy and then she'd add to the drama.
On the other hand, sometimes I think the hostess/hosts size up the customers as they come in and I've read an article or two that confirmed my belief that they'll put people in the less desirable seats if they think they look like the "type" who won't object. How else do you explain that in a nearly empty restaurant, you're always next to the waiter station, the kitchen door or a huge group of very noisy people? We try to be pleasant customers, but sometimes we'll ask for a different table as they've guided us to a badly positioned table when there are many others open - BUT - that's difficult for us and we more frequently just suck it up and sit down and make the most of it. So sometimes we're quite happy if we're out with friends who are more comfortable doing this and they ask for a different table, as they're usually right.
We do have friends that used to be overly demanding - asking for the impossible and getting in a snit or even close to rude to the wait staff when they merely said they'd check but weren't sure if it could be accommodated and we stopped going out with them for a while. We only continued after we took a break because they lost a close friend and we felt bad for them. Very happily, they ended that behavior or we may have stopped going out for meals with them.
So I guess it all depends on whether you think the friend has justified complaints or issues. If you don't feel comfortable discussing it with her, then I think I'd just stop accepting invitations. Going out to eat should be a pleasant experience. Bon Appetit
It’s very possible to be on Facebook with no drama, but that’s off-topic.
OP, I don’t see anything wrong with asking for a different table, etc. (especially when given a high top. I have short legs, and sitting at those can become painful if there’s no place to put my feet). But I don’t believe in treating waitstaff rudely, especially if they haven’t been given an opportunity to correct a problem. I wouldn’t be eating out with this woman.
We have friends we stopped going out to eat with because he always not only had an issue with the menu, the food, the service, etc. Him complaining about it was bad enough, but the whole meal became his platform for the rant about it and then move to other things. To make matters worse, his wife would get all distressed that he was unhappy and then she'd add to the drama.
On the other hand, sometimes I think the hostess/hosts size up the customers as they come in and I've read an article or two that confirmed my belief that they'll put people in the less desirable seats if they think they look like the "type" who won't object. How else do you explain that in a nearly empty restaurant, you're always next to the waiter station, the kitchen door or a huge group of very noisy people? We try to be pleasant customers, but sometimes we'll ask for a different table as they've guided us to a badly positioned table when there are many others open - BUT - that's difficult for us and we more frequently just suck it up and sit down and make the most of it. So sometimes we're quite happy if we're out with friends who are more comfortable doing this and they ask for a different table, as they're usually right.
We do have friends that used to be overly demanding - asking for the impossible and getting in a snit or even close to rude to the wait staff when they merely said they'd check but weren't sure if it could be accommodated and we stopped going out with them for a while. We only continued after we took a break because they lost a close friend and we felt bad for them. Very happily, they ended that behavior or we may have stopped going out for meals with them.
So I guess it all depends on whether you think the friend has justified complaints or issues. If you don't feel comfortable discussing it with her, then I think I'd just stop accepting invitations. Going out to eat should be a pleasant experience. Bon Appetit
I agree with this. We dine out regularly and expect the best seating available. Since the menu prices are the same why should we accept seating that is unsatisfactory. However, I do try to make the reservations and put in a preferred seating request beforehand. When it is ignored, I remind them of the request and they generally find a table more suitable. There is a way of doing things to avoid any unpleasantness. If your friend makes your experience unpleasant, you are not compatible dining campanions. I doubt that she will simply tolerate a situation to make the experience more enjoyable for you.
OP, I know you're venting to us on this board, so that's fine just to tell us, BUT you can't complain about her, yet still keep hanging out w/ her. Then, you're just another pawn in her game too. YOU need to make a change by stopping going out w/ her because apparently, you're there w/ her all those times to know that she does this.
Yeah, there are a LOT of anal, entitled narcissists out there who think the world owes them something & revolves around them. In childhood, they were spoiled by parents & then just had this attitude & everyone else in their life probably just fell in line & catered to them too.
Her ENTIRE circle of friends needs to stop socializing w/ her & not just say, "Oh well that's just how so & so is..." Stopping is THE ONLY way for her to get the message because just 1 or 2 of you stopping won't make a dent. It's like how everyone has to band together to finally make a change. I can't imagine anyone like that being any fun to be around anyway....everyone should be fed up w/ it.
Last edited by Forever Blue; 12-23-2019 at 02:46 PM..
I am picky about tables as well. Close proximity to a wait station, the bathroom, the line for a table, loud neighbors, etc. If I am to spend an hour-plus somewhere, spending money and trying to enjoy the dining experience, I insist on a veto. I almost always do this before sitting down and it's almost never a problem or debate.
No reason to be rude or get on a power trip, though ...
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