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I never understood the whole "hugging and kissing on the cheek" thing when you just seen that person the previous day (unless it is a cultural thing). Like when female friends see each other in the club or at an event and scream and hug like they haven't seen each other in years when in reality they just hung out yesterday. I kinda chalk it up to they want people around them to see "hey..look at us...I am popular...I have friends that love me..look at me...look at me!!"
OP - I suggest you go for a long walk by yourself, and spend the time thinking about your friend. Might she be a good life partner for you? Might you have feelings for her? Would you like the relationship to go beyond BFF? Yes, you've already previously established you two are BFFs, but that was then. What about now?
My most serious relationships (including my marriage) have always started out this way and I imagine if I were to have any more they would form the same way too..
Being friends as deep as you are helps build an extra special level of trust and understanding. In a utilitarian/functional way it helped/s me create an ultra watertight baseline of the other person's personality because my threshold for BS is incredibly low (possibly related to an underlining anxiety and trust issue) and I need those extra layers of understanding and behavior prediction to even consider a more intimate relationship (Because who the hell wants to feel all that hurt again?).
I was setting up my "friend/roommate" with dates up until the month we eloped and I was genuinely disappointed when they didn't work out as I truly wanted to see him happy.
Putting limitations on your relationship is probably good right now because it gives you the freedom to explore the relationship without the added burden of intimate expectations. However, I do see how eventually it evolves into something deeper, and hopefully, even more intensely gratifying on various levels.
What a fun "issue" to have.. at least it was for me!
Stay compassionate about her jealousy and maybe don't laugh... she's feeling connected to you.. maybe it's time to entertain the idea that you feel the same?
What if some dude was checking her out and hugging her?
I mentioned it to her because my friend and I talk about EVERYTHING, we went into full detail about our lives. Telling her this about the trainer is not that big of a deal because you have no idea how personal we got. That's why I mentioned we have a brother and sister relationship. My female friend is not a regular friend, we got so close and personal that we become even closer. We know things about each other marriages that we didn't tell our regular friends. So I was not trying to get her jealous. So telling her about the trainer was not that big of a deal.
So maybe, as a sister, she's telling you this might be someone whose attention you don't want.
Or maybe she thinks people who hug everyone are silly.
sometimes women are flirtatious if they feel "safe"
how much easier it would be if they come into "heat" and let the males know that …
If child rearing was purely a maternal venture this could be the case, but in our species children are born less developed than other animals. Raising humans is very resource demanding and I believe this is why wam, bam, thank you ma'am is *not* socially acceptable in any major culture.
Last edited by flyingsaucermom; 12-28-2019 at 10:18 AM..
I'm single father, 40. My female friend is single mother, 35. We know each other for 7 months. We met at a job, where we worked. So I go to the gym with her, her sister, her brother and her uncle. So her brother's trainer, a female said hi to me the other day with a hug and a kiss on the cheek after seeing me 2 other times. So I tell my female friend, so she's like "she has a boyfriend and is a little slow." I start laughing and I wanted to scream, wow, you sound jealous.
We both established we are like BFF, and like brother and sister relationship but now I'm wondering if she is jealous, should I think something else.
Your female BFF friend likes things just the way they are. Any woman who starts a relationship with you would be a threat because there would eventually be the question who is this so called BFF of yours?
Thanks everyone so far for the opinions, maybe I shouldn't laugh but I did saying "lol, I'm not into her (meaning the trainer), lol" If a guy hugged her and gave her a kiss. I wouldn't be jealous because I'm Macedonian and we do that in our culture. I have hugged and kissed my female friends over 20 years when I hanged with them. So that's why I asked if my friend was jealous for saying "she has a boyfriend and is a little slow."
Thanks everyone so far for the opinions, maybe I shouldn't laugh but I did saying "lol, I'm not into her (meaning the trainer), lol" If a guy hugged her and gave her a kiss. I wouldn't be jealous because I'm Macedonian and we do that in our culture. I have hugged and kissed my female friends over 20 years when I hanged with them. So that's why I asked if my friend was jealous for saying "she has a boyfriend and is a little slow."
So your friend is American?
Yeah, I can see that... My ex and my husband are Mexican and from a kissy-face culture. As I recall it bothered me when I first was introduced to the culture, however I was also 19...
Your friend is 35 and should be able to deal with it. Maybe at some point just open a conversation about the cultural dynamics.
Good luck!
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