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One of my best friends was originally a coworker where I lived at the time in Indianapolis. At that point, we obviously saw each other every day. We worked together for about two years, then I found another job, and about six months after that, left that city to go back to my hometown. This was back between 2014-2016. He seemed a little ticked when I left the job and then left a town in a hurry, but I was likely to be fired and financially up against it. I didn't have much time or money. At that point, we were close enough to have keys to each other's house. He had me get a nearly $10,000 engagement ring from a jeweler before he proposed so his fiance wouldn't find it. Close stuff.
I went back to Indianapolis from Tennessee (420 miles) probably four to five times a year the first two years I was back here. I did a long weekend for his wedding back in 2017. I think I did my best coming up there to try and keep the friendship going. Nothing seemed "off" until back in 2019.
Keep in mind this is a guy that was on Facebook often and you could almost always hit him up on Messenger. His last Facebook post that he posted was a picture of him and his late father back in August. His wife and a few other people tagged him in a few things here or there.
I normally come up for a few Colts or Pacers games. No response on Messenger. The messages are delivered but never read. I've called - straight to VM. Texted - iMessages shows as delivered, but never a reply. Wife never responded.
A mutual friend and former colleague of ours was wanting to host a get-together at his farm south of Indy in a few weeks and tonight asked if I heard from Matt because he couldn't get a hold of him. That's what brought it back in my mind. I haven't and none of our mutual friends have.
I'm just befuddled. He's gone from daily Facebook posts a few years to tapering off to nothing. No kids that I know of. Wife has a big job, but no one ever responds.
It's the wife. I'll bet she has a problem with you and ordered him to cut you off. You just have to respect it and carry on with your life.
It's the wife. I'll bet she has a problem with you and ordered him to cut you off. You just have to respect it and carry on with your life.
If his wife has a problem with the OP, why would he stop posting on Facebook and stop contacting lots of other mutual friends? That makes no sense.
Clearly something else is going on. He either died, got into some legal trouble, is sick, or maybe something happened to his wife (or she had a miscarriage) and he is struggling with grief. It doesn’t sound like depression if no one can get in touch with his wife either... something bigger is probably going on.
If his wife has a problem with the OP, why would he stop posting on Facebook and stop contacting lots of other mutual friends? That makes no sense.
Clearly something else is going on. He either died, got into some legal trouble, is sick, or maybe something happened to his wife (or she had a miscarriage) and he is struggling with grief. It doesn’t sound like depression if no one can get in touch with his wife either... something bigger is probably going on.
I never got to know his wife much. We're cordial and I never noticed anything off, but I don't know her well.
I just find it very odd how he went from a fairly public, outgoing person to not answering calls, texts, and completely cutting Facebook out.
I don't think anybody really has an answer if he's cut off EVERYBODY.
Honestly though, it's very common. Friendships disintegrate really fast.
I had a group of friends in my 20s and early 30s that I thought I might have for life, and we just lost touch one by one. Either just by dissociation or them having kids and not being able to socialize anymore.
So I wouldn't take it too badly. There was a good chance it was going to happen regardless of his life situation.
I would say you're a good friend though. I think half or more people don't really give old friends a second thought.
One of my best friends was originally a coworker where I lived at the time in Indianapolis. At that point, we obviously saw each other every day. We worked together for about two years, then I found another job, and about six months after that, left that city to go back to my hometown. This was back between 2014-2016. He seemed a little ticked when I left the job and then left a town in a hurry, but I was likely to be fired and financially up against it. I didn't have much time or money. At that point, we were close enough to have keys to each other's house. He had me get a nearly $10,000 engagement ring from a jeweler before he proposed so his fiance wouldn't find it. Close stuff.
I went back to Indianapolis from Tennessee (420 miles) probably four to five times a year the first two years I was back here. I did a long weekend for his wedding back in 2017. I think I did my best coming up there to try and keep the friendship going. Nothing seemed "off" until back in 2019.
Keep in mind this is a guy that was on Facebook often and you could almost always hit him up on Messenger. His last Facebook post that he posted was a picture of him and his late father back in August. His wife and a few other people tagged him in a few things here or there.
I normally come up for a few Colts or Pacers games. No response on Messenger. The messages are delivered but never read. I've called - straight to VM. Texted - iMessages shows as delivered, but never a reply. Wife never responded.
A mutual friend and former colleague of ours was wanting to host a get-together at his farm south of Indy in a few weeks and tonight asked if I heard from Matt because he couldn't get a hold of him. That's what brought it back in my mind. I haven't and none of our mutual friends have.
I'm just befuddled. He's gone from daily Facebook posts a few years to tapering off to nothing. No kids that I know of. Wife has a big job, but no one ever responds.
Here is the reality of friendships. I have had numerous "close friends" over the years, we hung out, shared our lives, and saw each other almost daily. Over those years, one by one they moved on, and I never see any of them today...…..nor do I wish to. We are different people than we were 30 or 40 years ago.
Lives change, circumstances change, and people change. Sometimes it is the spouse of the friend who causes them to move away from your friendship, and sometimes they, or you, just realize the relationship has run it's course. Either way, don't try to overthink it, or let it bother you, things just sometimes change and people move on.
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