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1. Co-workers: they want work from you, and income.
2. Significant others, children and sometimes parents: they want financial and other support from you.
3. People at church: they want donations and volunteer hours from you.
4. Others: typically they want something from you- career benefits, money, something.
Even our pets want rubs, walks, food, etc. from us.
How many people are you close to who don't want anything at all from you?
Can't recall any of my surviving relatives wanting anything from me for years. They don't fish around or ask for anything. Except maybe a note or silly stocking stuffer gift at Christmas. I appreciate the same sorts of things from them.
My few friends are not in the habit of wanting things from me other than a bit of time or attention once in a while. And don't forget, that's a two way street. What's wrong with it? I don't see it as a burden or something to be suspicious about. That leads to cynicism and paranoia. Nothin' too good there.
Sure, when I was working my coworkers usually needed/wanted something from me. What's the problem? Work is usually a cooperative effort toward some common goal.
I have a volunteer job now. Obviously they want something from me and I'm perfectly happy to give it. Sort of the definition of volunteering.
Sounds as if you are speculating about how to disconnect from everyone else because everyone has some ulterior motive. It seems to be a theme in your threads. How ill used you have been by others.
Enjoy that lonely mountaintop.
Last edited by Parnassia; 04-17-2020 at 03:38 PM..
100%. You have a pretty pessimistic view of people. Sure, my job expects me to work in exchange for my salary, but that makes sense to me, I expect as much from the people I hire to work around my house.
My mother would like to hear from me regularly, but that isn't a hardship.
I've never allowed myself to be used, and I don't feel I have been.
1. Co-workers: they want work from you, and income.
2. Significant others, children and sometimes parents: they want financial and other support from you.
3. People at church: they want donations and volunteer hours from you.
4. Others: typically they want something from you- career benefits, money, something.
Even our pets want rubs, walks, food, etc. from us.
How many people are you close to who don't want anything at all from you?
1. My employers and coworkers have the right to expect certain things from me and in exchange for a steady income and a healthy work environment, I gladly give up a portion of my available time and energy. I'm furloughed right now and am grateful that I seem to have retained my position.
2. Outside of one incident when I was young and was in the early stages of gaining wisdom have I ever been asked for financial support of any kind from a family member or significant other. Love, attention, other intangibles, and yes, money, I've glad given and received from the same as there's a symbiosis in a healthy interpersonal relationship.
3. People at church? See above. Might be time for you to choose another church if you've had such negative experiences with your own, assuming, of course, that you're speaking from personal experience(s).
4. Others? Meh. I like my friends,acquaintances, neighbors, and community as a rule. I don't tolerate "users," so what you speak of is a non-issue for me. I do kindnesses for others as I can. By my estimation, I've gotten more from others over the years than I've given if I count every small kindness that I've been granted by others as a whole. I do my best to "repay the universe" whenever I can't repay others who have been good time me in kind. Pay it forward is all I ask when I've done for others. It's a good way to try to live.
Pets? Well, by taking on the responsibility and pleasures of having a pet, one takes on their needs. Don't want to give those things to a creature? Choose to not take a pet into your home and life as they depend upon you.
Everyone, everything, wants, needs something. So do you, OP. There is nothing wrong with that.
1. My boss doesn't give me a paycheck. I earn it what I get paid. Give and take on all sides.
2. I have little to no contact with my biological family and that is a choice they make, too. My friends are more family to me than friends. My cats depend upon me. I adopted them and they have adopted me. What I get back is not tangible, but I get plenty in return for what I give. Give and take on all sides.
3. I don't go to church. People scare me. I know what people are capable of. I still worship God and I work as a nurse and volunteer at a shelter. Give and take on all sides, though I get the better end of the deal.
4. Yes, other people want what I have to give. They have whatever it is I need. Merchants and suppliers I deal with want my money in exchange for goods and services they provide me. In turn these people who deal in what I need use the profit earned from me to buy supplies and employ other people, provide profit to their stake holders. These relationships are give and take on all sides.
Life is give and take. There has to be balance though. OP, is there something that you want to change in your life?
OP, it seems like you approach every situation focusing on who 'done you wrong'. A serious suggestion here ... you may want to consider finding a counselor who can help you with some self-reflection to understand why you view yourself as the victim in so many situations.
Is there anyone who doesn't want something from you?
Everybody wants something from somebody else. NOBODY is exempt.
OP, even you want something from other people and you demonstrate that every time you start a new thread. Do you know what that something is?
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