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hi, bad idea to compromise. You will be sorry. You will be uncomfortable. You are already feeling uncomfortable on it.
Rollaway bed is not good for people with aches and pains. if you need a king size bed, you will hate having to give that up for a rollaway. i've slept on a rollaway, when i was LITTLE and skinny. even then it wasn't comfy.
Best to figure out what YOU want, and even let your friend get their own room.
hi, bad idea to compromise. You will be sorry. You will be uncomfortable. You are already feeling uncomfortable on it.
Rollaway bed is not good for people with aches and pains. if you need a king size bed, you will hate having to give that up for a rollaway. i've slept on a rollaway, when i was LITTLE and skinny. even then it wasn't comfy.
Best to figure out what YOU want, and even let your friend get their own room.
Best to read through the thread before replying, in which case you would have known they got double beds and there will be no rollaway.
So for those interested in an update, I got here yesterday and my friend arrives this afternoon.
Upon checking in I simply asked for two beds and they gave it to me at no extra charge. Thank you to those who suggested this. The room had a few minor issues, so when I called to ask for a different double room, they upgraded us to a double ocean view with balcony. I like it. And I’m so glad she’s getting her own bed. I had mentioned recently to another poster how much of a deal she is getting considering what the room is going for and then the fact that she might not even end up on the rollaway.
I can’t see our current room price on booking.com (maybe I’m overlooking it), but it does look like right now this room would go for idk..well over $1k nightly now. It was an upgrade though, so I understand I’ve gotten something free out of it too. Upgrades are always nice.
Side note..SoBe is the place my mom and I vacation to every year. So on an unrelated topic, I may have actually picked the wrong city to vacation to based on that alone. I had/have quite a bit of guilt leaving (which I guess I would have had going anywhere), however, traveling here, landing here and just going out walking the boardwalk that we would usually walk together yesterday was actually tear inducing. I guess my personality has a hard time unwinding anywhere but I just don’t know that I want to come back here again soon. I do have another week or two of vacay left so if it does end up involving travel again I will 1. Go alone and 2. Think through certain things before choosing the destination. It doesn’t help that she hasn’t been answering my calls since I left, however, my friend has gone in to check on her so I know she’s ok.
My friend and I waited too late to be able to comfortably arrange a spa visit together (we both bought a Groupon to the same spa), so we may have to go separately. I’m fine with it; my friend does seem to want to still coordinate things together. I’m just going with the flow the rest of this weekend. She did text me she was up the entire night last night and is now getting ready to head to the airport. Not sure why but I’m guessing she’ll be super tired when she gets in. All the more reason I’m grateful she’s got her own bed. The service here has been really good.
Please excuse any typos, etc..I’m on my phone.
I honestly did not read all of the replies after the first 40 posts which are on page one for me because I have CD set to show 40 posts per page. I did read all of your replies and the replies of people you quoted. When I originally started reading the thread, it wasn't that long, midway on page 3, so about 100 replies. Now it's on page 7 with 40 replies per page lol. With all that you have on your plate, I seriously don't know how you kept up here lol
Sorry about your mom. I'm disabled, it is very hard going from a healthy person to not being able to live life. For your mom, her life totally changed, she's pretty much bedridden, her life has stopped. Has she started the "I'm so worthless" train of thought yet? My dad who was very active at almost 69 was diagnosed with terminal cancer, admitted for 5 weeks, he was weak coming out. How worthless he was started right away when he realized he had no strength to even walk to the kitchen table.
You'll figure it out when you get home whether mom is receptive to talk about your trip or not. She's probably hurting that you had to go alone, that she can barely get out of bed. No doubt she could use a vacation away from her current life but she can't even do that. I believe you said the most she could do was a "day trip".
I'm glad the room worked out. Now you say your friend missed her flight. How did she manage that? Does she not travel much? I can't imagine her staying in the airport all that time when she was already complaining about her body pains. How far does she live from the airport? I'm an hour from Philly airport, I was traveling to meet my hub in Texas 20 years ago, flight was cancelled due to storms. I had to be back in 5 or 6 hours. I drove home in that storm because there was no way I was spending the time in the airport. I had back pain issues back then too. Just being able to be home for a few hours, take a pill, icing my back can make a difference.
I guess it remains to be seen if your friend gets there in the end or if she just says forget it, probably due to thinking she's going to be on a roll away bed. I know you were going to surprise her with the room change news, maybe consider telling her that you checked out the second bed, it's a great, comfy mattress that is the same as the other bed. Or you could just say nothing, letting the plans fall apart if that's what she is doing. Been there with my stepson when we got married. It was right after 911, his wife didn't want him flying. He told us he was going to the airport to fly out but some how that back fired, he ended up going home, not coming. We paid for his ticket and room, so he had nothing invested, it was easy for him to abort the trip.
I hope you're able to have a nice time. You surely deserve it after all you've been through since the Spring when your mom had the stroke. You packed up your life in order to be there for her. I'm sure your mom knows that you not only deserve this vacation, but you badly need it too. Maybe going to a place you vacationed with mom was what needed to be done so that you can prepare to say good bye to the life you used to live with her, pack it in a box and if you never go there again, then at least you're clear on why not.
You have to mourn the loss of your mom being able to function, just like she has to. Hopefully there comes a time when she is well enough to travel again but it also may not be in the cards for her like with me. I haven't traveled since 2006 when my FIL died, it takes too much out of me due to the security checks after COVID. Philly is generally a decent airport, much better then the one I grew up with in Newark, NJ; even so, it's just too much on my broken down back.
I'm sure that the members of CD who follow your threads will agree you deserve this vacation. Do as much laughing or crying as you need to. You have months of going non-stop to where you couldn't even think of your own needs. This trip is about and for you.
I do hope your friend shows up in a decent mood, especially after seeing the upgraded room. The last thing you need is for her mood to be rotten when you probably have so much emotionally to deal with for/from your own life.
Best suggestion I have is if she starts to whine, tell her that you're having a hard time being here without your mom and to please save it unless she will be supportive to you, then maybe you can be supportive to her back.
It went fine. I returned on Monday night. I go back to work tomorrow. Dealing with more ‘post vacation blues’ than usual for some reason.
I did learn my lesson in that I need my next vacay to be alone. Everything went fine, but for example I went to a touristy club type place with my friend Sat night because she really wanted to go. I don’t really do places like that anymore and I really just wanted to stay in. So going to bed around 2 am and smelling like smoke wasn’t really my thing. As a result I was really sleepy the next day.
Also she had invited a friend over to the hotel..it was on the day I was out for half a spa day so not a big deal. But when I got in that night she was hinting about bringing her friend up and going to dinner and I told her I was headed out to grab something to eat already and to have fun with her friend because I was looking forward to coming back after dinner and just going to bed early as I was just there to relax. She got the hint and came up while I was sleep to bring all her friends stuff that was left in the room back down to her (I guess it was her swim clothes from hanging at the pool but who knows..for all I know the friend had brought clothes for dinner/to hang out too). It became clear my friend wanted us to meet and possibly hang out but they ended up doing their own thing that particular night and I’m glad because I guess I didn’t make it clear that I wasn’t in a socializing mood.
I did have several mini crying episodes..leaving Atlanta, on the flight, in baggage claim in MIA, during my massage during the half day spa treatment I had (masseuse had to stop while I pulled myself together). As I’d mentioned I likely didn’t pick the best spot to go since it’s the spot my mom and I usually come to during holidays and such every year.
However, the hotel was very nice. I spent my last day there at an even more popular hotel, but ended up not liking it as much as it was really kinda pretentious. The time flew by, I got in some decent rest, I worked out a TON and got quite a few spa treatments while there..so overall I came back relaxed. And quite honestly, looking better. I’m glad I didn’t put this trip off.
Side note..I happened to mention to my friend that I needed to come here (or go somewhere else) likely soon b/c this trip went by too fast and I need regular breaks away at this point. She said she just might have to join me..I didn’t respond but in my head I thought back to this thread and chuckled a bit to myself considering what I was mentioning was ‘not’ an invite (and will not become one) lol
It went fine. I returned on Monday night. I go back to work tomorrow. Dealing with more ‘post vacation blues’ than usual for some reason.
I did learn my lesson in that I need my next vacay to be alone. Everything went fine, but for example I went to a touristy club type place with my friend Sat night because she really wanted to go. I don’t really do places like that anymore and I really just wanted to stay in. So going to bed around 2 am and smelling like smoke wasn’t really my thing. As a result I was really sleepy the next day.
Also she had invited a friend over to the hotel..it was on the day I was out for half a spa day so not a big deal. But when I got in that night she was hinting about bringing her friend up and going to dinner and I told her I was headed out to grab something to eat already and to have fun with her friend because I was looking forward to coming back after dinner and just going to bed early as I was just there to relax. She got the hint and came up while I was sleep to bring all her friends stuff that was left in the room back down to her (I guess it was her swim clothes from hanging at the pool but who knows..for all I know the friend had brought clothes for dinner/to hang out too). It became clear my friend wanted us to meet and possibly hang out but they ended up doing their own thing that particular night and I’m glad because I guess I didn’t make it clear that I wasn’t in a socializing mood.
I did have several mini crying episodes..leaving Atlanta, on the flight, in baggage claim in MIA, during my massage during the half day spa treatment I had (masseuse had to stop while I pulled myself together). As I’d mentioned I likely didn’t pick the best spot to go since it’s the spot my mom and I usually come to during holidays and such every year.
However, the hotel was very nice. I spent my last day there at an even more popular hotel, but ended up not liking it as much as it was really kinda pretentious. The time flew by, I got in some decent rest, I worked out a TON and got quite a few spa treatments while there..so overall I came back relaxed. And quite honestly, looking better. I’m glad I didn’t put this trip off.
Side note..I happened to mention to my friend that I needed to come here (or go somewhere else) likely soon b/c this trip went by too fast and I need regular breaks away at this point. She said she just might have to join me..I didn’t respond but in my head I thought back to this thread and chuckled a bit to myself considering what I was mentioning was ‘not’ an invite (and will not become one) lol
Don't blame you about the massage. For some reason, for me anyway, that just makes you feel that you can just let go and have all sorts of things come up and just overtake you. The lady that did mine said it happens all the time.
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