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This past year, in the summer, Fridays are Findagrave days, where I attempt to find and photograph graves by request. I’ve learned that if it’s an old grave, it’s not findable. It’s fun, because heading to graveyards is a weird way to explore the area I’m in. I also eat at someplace new when I do this.
Oh, awesome! I love Findagrave--the past spring/summer have been to several cemeteries and contributed quite a few photos. One is right by my house and for a while I was finding a grave like nearly every time I'd go for a walk there. On vacations I'll also like to visit a cemetery or two.
Yes, the old ones are just about not there. I did have minimal luck at a couple of cemeteries (the two I most often frequent--one is kind of notable, Evergreen Cemetery in Gettysburg; I actually have a plot there for my husband and I). But generally, if the person died earlier than like the 1920s or so, I mentally check it off my list of "oh, I'm definitely going to have to get out there and look for that one!".
I've found that lots of times you've got to really wander up and down the rows of graves to find the requests because like, the grave not infrequently would be in a plot with a different last name. For instance, like you'd think Molly Jones's grave would be over in the Jones plot; but, it's often not and I'll find her grave over by the Smith's family plot. I feel kind of odd walking up and down the rows of graves, but a lot of times that's the only way I can find any. This summer I even became a well-known visitor at the cemetery by my house, Green Hill: one of the caretakers drove up to me on his lawncare thingy whatever's it's called and warned me about hornet's nests. He mentioned he'd seen me frequently walking around there and "looking at the old grave stones". I told him about Findagrave; it seems he'd never heard of it.
I haven't been to the cemetery by my house in a little while and there's quite a few "newer" graves for me to look for. I'm really looking forward to that.
I'll be by myself for Christmas, by choice. I had invites but I just prefer to be alone. It's a difficult time for me with my husband's death and I'm just an odd duck: a very extreme introvert, just about antisocial. There's only one person I would like to spend the holidays with and since I can't I really prefer to be alone. Usually I'll drive home to visit my family but I couldn't get the time off of work this year. Next year I have the time so I'm planning to--hopefully nothing changes. So this year I'm planning to go for a hike, work on my house, jigsaw puzzle and maybe I'll take a walk in that cemetery to see if I can find a few graves.
Last edited by Basiliximab; 12-24-2023 at 04:24 AM..
Oh, awesome! I love Findagrave--the past spring/summer have been to several cemeteries and contributed quite a few photos. One is right by my house and for a while I was finding a grave like nearly every time I'd go for a walk there. On vacations I'll also like to visit a cemetery or two.
Yes, the old ones are just about not there. I did have minimal luck at a couple of cemeteries (the two I most often frequent--one is kind of notable, Evergreen Cemetery in Gettysburg; I actually have a plot there for my husband and I). But generally, if the person died earlier than like the 1920s or so, I mentally check it off my list of "oh, I'm definitely going to have to get out there and look for that one!".
I've found that lots of times you've got to really wander up and down the rows of graves to find the requests because like, the grave not infrequently would be in a plot with a different last name. For instance, like you'd think Molly Jones's grave would be over in the Jones plot; but, it's often not and I'll find her grave over by the Smith's family plot. I feel kind of odd walking up and down the rows of graves, but a lot of times that's the only way I can find any. This summer I even became a well-known visitor at the cemetery by my house, Green Hill: one of the caretakers drove up to me on his lawncare thingy whatever's it's called and warned me about hornet's nests. He mentioned he'd seen me frequently walking around there and "looking at the old grave stones". I told him about Findagrave; it seems he'd never heard of it.
I haven't been to the cemetery by my house in a little while and there's quite a few "newer" graves for me to look for. I'm really looking forward to that.
I'll be by myself for Christmas, by choice. I had invites but I just prefer to be alone. It's a difficult time for me with my husband's death and I'm just an odd duck: a very extreme introvert, just about antisocial. There's only one person I would like to spend the holidays with and since I can't I really prefer to be alone. Usually I'll drive home to visit my family but I couldn't get the time off of work this year. Next year I have the time so I'm planning to--hopefully nothing changes. So this year I'm planning to go for a hike, work on my house, jigsaw puzzle and maybe I'll take a walk in that cemetery to see if I can find a few graves.
I carry a cane in my car. I have bad knees that will be replaced this year. I find the cane quite handy when wandering around an old graveyard. A couple of the places I’ve gone were not maintained. so snakes. Definitely used the cane to poke around things.
My favorite one was a very old graveyard that contained the pioneers of the area. It was at a very small crossroad at the top of a little hill. I took a lot of water because it was very hot that day, and when I walked into the center of the stand of pine trees where all these graves were, it was so cool and refreshing and peaceful. The graveyard itself was not in good condition. Not because of vandalism, because of time. Most of the graves were well over 100 years old. And it was divided into families. Very small place, but divided into quarters — each corner was a family.
One whole family used shale rock as tombstones. None survived. There was one laying on the ground so you could see it what it had looked like but it was not readable, and it was like those old-fashioned ones in New England that are so beautiful and so clear even today…
Which makes sense they didn’t survive. I don’t know if there is a difference between slate and shale, but shale is a very layered stone. And it splits beautifully in ways you don’t want it to split when it’s a tombstone. And it’s clear that this is a lot of freeze/thaw winters in action. Because throughout that part of the cemetery it was shards of tombstone with nothing left to the original tombstones, just piles of rock. I know, because we used to look for fossils in shale all the time and you could split it with your fingers, and we found fossils every time we looked for them.
As sad as that is, I think I spent two hours there just sort of being there. You could pull up to an end to the cemetery. Because as I said it was circular but the center of it was empty and it had a little pushed in gravel driveway. So I pulled up into that, opened the back of the car and just sat in the back of my car (little SUV type) and drank that beautiful peaceful atmosphere. Totally see why those people wanted to be buried there.
Here it is Christmas Eve and I'm laying here spending the day and tomorrow alone. Though I had plans to travel this Christmas, Nature had other plans for me. I've been progressively more ill all last week and today it's accelerating with new symptoms, fever and intense body aches. Took Covid and Flu tests at the Docs last week and both were negative. They can't say what it is, but gave me RXs to treat symptoms, which is really all they can do while it plays itself out.
Even though I'm sick as a dog with no one in the house but me and the animals, I am in good cheer because I am loving the peace and solace of being alone with great movies, candles burning, wrapped in a down duvet with kitties to cuddle and hot cocoa to sip. I think I'd rather be here, in the now on my own for Christmas this year.
Sometimes you gotta Zag when you planned to Zig, and the Zag turns out for the best afterall.
Last edited by BijouBaby; 12-24-2023 at 06:30 PM..
Here it is Christmas Eve and I'm laying here spending the day and tomorrow alone. Though I had plans to travel this Christmas, Nature had other plans for me. I've been progressively more ill all last week and today it's accelerating with new symptoms, fever and intense body aches. Took Covid and Flu tests at the Docs last week and both were negative. They can't say what it is, but gave me RXs to treat symptoms, which is really all they can do while it plays itself out.
Even though I'm sick as a dog with no one in the house but me and the animals, I am in good cheer because I am loving the peace and solace of being alone with great movies, candles burning, wrapped in a down duvet with kitties to cuddle and hot cocoa to sip. I think I'd rather be here, in the now on my own for Christmas this year.
Sometimes you gotta Zag when you planned to Zig, and the Zag turns out for the best afterall.
Sending good vibes your way. I hope some relief comes for you soon and the medical professionals can find out what is going on.
It doesn't matter what day it is I'd rather not spend it alone. But it is what it is...
Spent most of my life this way and I am not happy about that. I tried to fix but it looks hopeless. Apparently I'm too old to make anymore real life friends. Multiple efforts were made and I have pretty much given up. Rejection stings. Those that say "age is just a number" is lying to you. Things have been much harder as I have aged. I haven't made a real life friend in 32+ years. Out of my friends that are left no one lives close to me and they are all coupled up anyway. I have no friends who are single.
I won't settle. My former marriage (together for 8 years) was a bust and the ending was even worse. Still indirectly paying for that today, biggest mistake I made in my life. I didn't deserve what I got out of that.
I have trust issues and do not like hassles at all. I'd rather be lonely than sorry. I'm sure there are a few people reading this that would like to trade situations with me so maybe I shouldn't complain...
.
Last edited by John13; 12-25-2023 at 03:35 AM..
Reason: typo / added something
Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BijouBaby
Here it is Christmas Eve and I'm laying here spending the day and tomorrow alone. Though I had plans to travel this Christmas, Nature had other plans for me. I've been progressively more ill all last week and today it's accelerating with new symptoms, fever and intense body aches. Took Covid and Flu tests at the Docs last week and both were negative. They can't say what it is, but gave me RXs to treat symptoms, which is really all they can do while it plays itself out.
Even though I'm sick as a dog with no one in the house but me and the animals, I am in good cheer because I am loving the peace and solace of being alone with great movies, candles burning, wrapped in a down duvet with kitties to cuddle and hot cocoa to sip. I think I'd rather be here, in the now on my own for Christmas this year.
Sometimes you gotta Zag when you planned to Zig, and the Zag turns out for the best afterall.
Best Christmas Wishes. I hope you feel better soon. Sick is no fun no matter what day it is.
It doesn't matter what day it is I'd rather not spend it alone. But it is what it is...
Spent most of my life this way and I am not happy about that. I tried to fix but it looks hopeless. Apparently I'm too old to make anymore real life friends. Multiple efforts were made and I have pretty much given up. Rejection stings. Those that say "age is just a number" is lying to you. Things have been much harder as I have aged. I haven't made a real life friend in 32+ years. Out of my friends that are left no one lives close to me and they are all coupled up anyway. I have no friends who are single.
I won't settle. My former marriage (together for 8 years) was a bust and the ending was even worse. Still indirectly paying for that today, biggest mistake I made in my life. I didn't deserve what I got out of that.
I have trust issues and do not like hassles at all. I'd rather be lonely than sorry. I'm sure there are a few people reading this that would like to trade situations with me so maybe I shouldn't complain...
.
Best Christmas wishes.
Im sorry you feel so lonely. You can chat with us. We know all the best gossip. You know. As long as you have internet youre never truly alone. Theres always somebody somewhere.
And yes. It is what it is. But what is it. Its another day. Im warm. I have food. Im with mostly good company. Me and CD. Do I wish things were different. Yes. But they're not. If wishes were horses.... Hey. Maybe they're cats and that's where cat ladies come from.
I'm new to this part of the forum but definitely belong I guess. I'm a 63 year old orphan (only child) with no family alive/remaining. A run of serious bad luck since the pandemic left me work disabled, battling a couple health conditions, minus a car, nearly homeless, relocated to a different city in order to survive, with just a few long-distance friends, and being almost penniless living on a fixed income (retirement social security) that barely covers my frugal lifestyle. This has been my first holiday season this alone and financially lacking....finding it impossible to feel grateful or blessed. I'm just seeking ways to cope and open to suggestions.
It doesn't matter what day it is I'd rather not spend it alone. But it is what it is...
Spent most of my life this way and I am not happy about that. I tried to fix but it looks hopeless. Apparently I'm too old to make anymore real life friends. Multiple efforts were made and I have pretty much given up. Rejection stings. Those that say "age is just a number" is lying to you. Things have been much harder as I have aged. I haven't made a real life friend in 32+ years. Out of my friends that are left no one lives close to me and they are all coupled up anyway. I have no friends who are single.....
.
I'm 78 and made my first new friend in decades this year. We are having dinner together today, my first Christmas not spent alone in the years since my parents died. Broaden your search, be open to anyone, look for a friend not a life partner (which may even be better in old age)
I'm 78 and made my first new friend in decades this year. We are having dinner together today, my first Christmas not spent alone in the years since my parents died. Broaden your search, be open to anyone, look for a friend not a life partner (which may even be better in old age)
Having a new friend is a wonderful Christmas gift. But as an almost 70 yo widow, I have gotten burnt by being open to anyone. Especially when I try to befriend men platonically and they want more, even at this age.
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Solly says — Be nice!
