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Not to be rude but could it be bad hygiene/bad breath? Possibly just socially awkward? Is there something distinct about you, physically? Are you exceptionally good looking, bad looking, short, tall, fat, skinny? I think friends like to be challenged: show some interest in their lives but gon't give them too much. make them feel good about themselves and be sincere about it but don't act like you need them.
Not to be rude but could it be bad hygiene/bad breath? Possibly just socially awkward? Is there something distinct about you, physically? Are you exceptionally good looking, bad looking, short, tall, fat, skinny? I think friends like to be challenged: show some interest in their lives but gon't give them too much. make them feel good about themselves and be sincere about it but don't act like you need them.
I was thinking about the exceptionally good looking thing too. I wish I were... hee hee
Not to be rude but could it be bad hygiene/bad breath? Possibly just socially awkward? Is there something distinct about you, physically? Are you exceptionally good looking, bad looking, short, tall, fat, skinny? I think friends like to be challenged: show some interest in their lives but gon't give them too much. make them feel good about themselves and be sincere about it but don't act like you need them.
Thank you for all your responses. I'm going to go back and respond to more people's responses individually, but this one touched on something I wanted to address first. I was thinking about what the above poster discusses yesterday, and I think that part of the problem is that yes, there are some distinct things about me, but in a bad way. I have never felt like I fit in with women in general. I look different and I just feel different.
The first way I think I don't fit in with most women is that I am a bit underweight. I have always been thin and petite in body build, ever since I was a young girl. But now, in my early 30's, this stands out in a negative way because most women at this age are womanly looking with curves. I, on the other hand, look like a 10-year-old boy. I have no curves and am very straight up and down. I also have tiny breasts. I look like I weigh about 108 pounds, even though I weigh more.
I know this sounds odd, but I have tried everything I can to put on weight, and it just doesn't happen. I can eat a huge slice of cheesecake every day for a week, and I won't gain an ounce. I am the same weight/same build that I have been since I was 13 years old. I just can't gain weight no matter what. I have discussed this with my doctor but he didn't have any tips for me.
Anyhow, the point of this is that this is one way that I look different from most women in their early 30's. I don't look anorexic or anything--but I do have a very slim figure. A lot of times I get the feeling that larger women don't want to be my friend because of this. A few weeks ago my husband and I were at a social event (dinner) and I happened to be sitting next to a large woman, and she kept making comments about what I was eating.
People are always making comments like, "how can you pack all that food away and still be so thin" or "you must work out every day, right?" The truth is that yes, I have a large appetite and pretty much eat everything on my plate. I am not one of those women who orders a salad and water. I order a whole entree and dessert and eat all of it. And secondly, I don't work out. At all.
But I think it makes people uncomfortable to see a really thin woman eat like a man and not seem to gain any weight, judging by all the comments I get at social events. I think people might be more friendly if they saw me pick at a salad, drink a glass of water, and then excuse myself to the bathroom right after. My husband and I have actually discussed me trying this at the next social event dinner and seeing if women react to me more favorably. My husband thinks that this whole thing is the main problem right here. And he has always said this.
There are more things I'd like to add about feeling different from most women but I'll start with this. What are your thoughts? Could this be part of the problem as to why people don't like me? How can I create the illusion of curves with my clothing?
It's hard, because people tend not to comment to their face to people who are large--but they have no problem making negative comments to people who are too thin.
Sounds like a Chinese woman I worked with, who had to pad her bra to have *something* in her chest area. And that's after having a baby! She has a baby and shrinks right back into the same stick figure. She also ate, for lunch, a half-handful of rice and a shrimp, with two strands of seaweed. She was preoccupied with putting on weight, and I told her, eat something more American, - but in general I wished she didn't. Thinness is something women strive for.
I remember that desire of making and having friends, when I was single... The larger the city, the more alone one feels... I was an oddity though because of my immigration, no cultural relation, no acquired cues in a female company... It all got not as important after I had kids... You don't have time to be thinking of that, or you relate much easier to moms.
People are always making comments like, "how can you pack all that food away and still be so thin" or "you must work out every day, right?" The truth is that yes, I have a large appetite and pretty much eat everything on my plate. I am not one of those women who orders a salad and water. I order a whole entree and dessert and eat all of it. And secondly, I don't work out. At all.
I hate you already. Kidding.
There are a lot of insecure women out there, but that doesn't explain all of it.
Someone else already said it; if they are so quick to drop you, they're not worth it. As far as the family wanting nothing to do with you, you barely know each other so there is no real family bond. And they may be family but it doesn't mean they will honor you.
I don't agree with excluding your husband from your friendships, but he may be the reason in the two instances you mentioned since things seemed to go well before you brought him around. It could also be that you are trying too hard. Whatever it is, something seems to be off.
There are life coaches that may be able to help you in this area. I think a therapist would do just as well.
Thank you for all your responses. I'm going to go back and respond to more people's responses individually, but this one touched on something I wanted to address first. I was thinking about what the above poster discusses yesterday, and I think that part of the problem is that yes, there are some distinct things about me, but in a bad way. I have never felt like I fit in with women in general. I look different and I just feel different.
The first way I think I don't fit in with most women is that I am a bit underweight. I have always been thin and petite in body build, ever since I was a young girl. But now, in my early 30's, this stands out in a negative way because most women at this age are womanly looking with curves. I, on the other hand, look like a 10-year-old boy. I have no curves and am very straight up and down. I also have tiny breasts. I look like I weigh about 108 pounds, even though I weigh more.
I know this sounds odd, but I have tried everything I can to put on weight, and it just doesn't happen. I can eat a huge slice of cheesecake every day for a week, and I won't gain an ounce. I am the same weight/same build that I have been since I was 13 years old. I just can't gain weight no matter what. I have discussed this with my doctor but he didn't have any tips for me.
Anyhow, the point of this is that this is one way that I look different from most women in their early 30's. I don't look anorexic or anything--but I do have a very slim figure. A lot of times I get the feeling that larger women don't want to be my friend because of this. A few weeks ago my husband and I were at a social event (dinner) and I happened to be sitting next to a large woman, and she kept making comments about what I was eating.
People are always making comments like, "how can you pack all that food away and still be so thin" or "you must work out every day, right?" The truth is that yes, I have a large appetite and pretty much eat everything on my plate. I am not one of those women who orders a salad and water. I order a whole entree and dessert and eat all of it. And secondly, I don't work out. At all.
But I think it makes people uncomfortable to see a really thin woman eat like a man and not seem to gain any weight, judging by all the comments I get at social events. I think people might be more friendly if they saw me pick at a salad, drink a glass of water, and then excuse myself to the bathroom right after. My husband and I have actually discussed me trying this at the next social event dinner and seeing if women react to me more favorably. My husband thinks that this whole thing is the main problem right here. And he has always said this.
There are more things I'd like to add about feeling different from most women but I'll start with this. What are your thoughts? Could this be part of the problem as to why people don't like me? How can I create the illusion of curves with my clothing?
It's hard, because people tend not to comment to their face to people who are large--but they have no problem making negative comments to people who are too thin.
I personally like thin women but wow the only thing I can suggest is to find people who accept you for who you are. Your dad might be right, they could just be jealous. Try to find some thin women to be friends with, as they might be able to relate to you better. As others have stated, however, we wouldn't really know until we actually see you in person--which is not going to happen. Best of luck though!
Thank you for all your responses. I'm going to go back and respond to more people's responses individually, but this one touched on something I wanted to address first. I was thinking about what the above poster discusses yesterday, and I think that part of the problem is that yes, there are some distinct things about me, but in a bad way. I have never felt like I fit in with women in general. I look different and I just feel different.
The first way I think I don't fit in with most women is that I am a bit underweight. I have always been thin and petite in body build, ever since I was a young girl. But now, in my early 30's, this stands out in a negative way because most women at this age are womanly looking with curves. I, on the other hand, look like a 10-year-old boy. I have no curves and am very straight up and down. I also have tiny breasts. I look like I weigh about 108 pounds, even though I weigh more.
I know this sounds odd, but I have tried everything I can to put on weight, and it just doesn't happen. I can eat a huge slice of cheesecake every day for a week, and I won't gain an ounce. I am the same weight/same build that I have been since I was 13 years old. I just can't gain weight no matter what. I have discussed this with my doctor but he didn't have any tips for me.
Anyhow, the point of this is that this is one way that I look different from most women in their early 30's. I don't look anorexic or anything--but I do have a very slim figure. A lot of times I get the feeling that larger women don't want to be my friend because of this. A few weeks ago my husband and I were at a social event (dinner) and I happened to be sitting next to a large woman, and she kept making comments about what I was eating.
People are always making comments like, "how can you pack all that food away and still be so thin" or "you must work out every day, right?" The truth is that yes, I have a large appetite and pretty much eat everything on my plate. I am not one of those women who orders a salad and water. I order a whole entree and dessert and eat all of it. And secondly, I don't work out. At all.
But I think it makes people uncomfortable to see a really thin woman eat like a man and not seem to gain any weight, judging by all the comments I get at social events. I think people might be more friendly if they saw me pick at a salad, drink a glass of water, and then excuse myself to the bathroom right after. My husband and I have actually discussed me trying this at the next social event dinner and seeing if women react to me more favorably. My husband thinks that this whole thing is the main problem right here. And he has always said this.
There are more things I'd like to add about feeling different from most women but I'll start with this. What are your thoughts? Could this be part of the problem as to why people don't like me? How can I create the illusion of curves with my clothing?
It's hard, because people tend not to comment to their face to people who are large--but they have no problem making negative comments to people who are too thin.
I dont think so. I can not imagine not being friends with someone because they are thin. I have thin friends, fat friends, crazy friends... you get the idea. Plus if someone does not want to be your friend for that reason, that would be their issue.
It IS partially something you or something/one involving you (ex: your husband) is doing. Sorry to be blunt but I think saying "Oh, everyone around you is just jealous/has a problem/is too busy" is a complete cop out. It may be partially the truth but it takes two to tango.
Now, what you need to do is figure out exactly what you're doing that is off putting to others and nip it in the bud.
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but wow the only thing I can suggest is to find people who accept you for who you are. Your dad might be right, they could just be jealous. Try to find some thin women to be friends with, as they might be able to relate to you better. As others have stated, however, we wouldn't really know until we actually see you in person--which is not going to happen. Best of luck though!
