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Today I heard that a mother who recently moved into my NE Raleigh community may be leaving two small children at home alone sometimes. I don't know the mother or the children. There are at least two children and both may be under seven. This information originated with a community resident who lives very near the family and who believes the children may be alone at times, but is not sure. Monitoring things like this is difficult due to the design of our community which gives each household a lot of privacy even though there are several residences in each building.
My two major choices seem to be to inform Wake County Child Protective Services (CPS), turning over responsibility for investigating the situation to them, or to talk with the mother first to hear her side of the story. Are there others? The property manager for my home association is on vacation. I could contact one or more association board members, but I suspect they will face the same questions I'm facing.
Leaving young children alone can pose serious dangers for their safety and the safety of other residents in the building (if, for example, they start a fire). For me, this argues that this may be an urgent situation and that I should take urgent steps, although nothing harmful may happen. Agree?
This is the first time I've been confronted with this situation and will appreciate any recommendations and information.
All NC citizens are mandatory reporters, so, per law, you should report. I understand how uncomfortable it is. How reliable is the person reporting it to you?
I agree that the safety of the children is paramount. If talking to the mother first seems right, do that first. But I say do it soon.
Most childcare agency workers have a case load that is piled six inches high on their desk.
This is a situation where the Police should be called. Its called a welfare check, to ensure that the children are safe and under direct supervision by an adult. This is a much better option, compared to calling Child Protection who may not be able to respond for a number of days.
A visit by Police will do a number of things. It will establish the physical living conditions in the residence. The availability of food, the cleanliness of the unit, and the physical condition of the children. A interview with the Mother will do two things. Remind her that she has a legal and a moral requirement to protect and care for her kids. And secondly, that others are not afraid to report her to the authorities.
It may be a case of neglect.... or not. The facts need to be established.
All NC citizens are mandatory reporters, so, per law, you should report. I understand how uncomfortable it is. How reliable is the person reporting it to you?
I agree that the safety of the children is paramount. If talking to the mother first seems right, do that first. But I say do it soon.
Sue, I did not know all NC citizens are mandatory reporters. Thank you very much for telling me this. I’m especially uncomfortable about reporting this situation because I have so little information and yet, if it is true, the children are not safe when left alone. The person reporting this to me is very reliable but he is not sure the children are being left alone. That’s where the major uncertainty is. And, you’re right, I’m also uncomfortable about reporting the mother, especially without knowing for sure that the children are being left alone. But as mapleguy said “It may be a case of neglect.... or not. The facts need to be established.â€
Quote:
Originally Posted by mapleguy
Most childcare agency workers have a case load that is piled six inches high on their desk.
This is a situation where the Police should be called. Its called a welfare check, to ensure that the children are safe and under direct supervision by an adult. This is a much better option, compared to calling Child Protection who may not be able to respond for a number of days.
A visit by Police will do a number of things. It will establish the physical living conditions in the residence. The availability of food, the cleanliness of the unit, and the physical condition of the children. A interview with the Mother will do two things. Remind her that she has a legal and a moral requirement to protect and care for her kids. And secondly, that others are not afraid to report her to the authorities.
It may be a case of neglect.... or not. The facts need to be established.
XXX.
mapleguy, I had no idea that the police conduct welfare checks on children. This sounds like an excellent option. I especially like that it could be done quickly and that the police also would assess the living conditions of the children.
Sue at the Rock and mapleguy, with your responses I am now in a much better position to go back to the orginal information source about the children to discuss the information and options you have given me. It’s really nice when I have a problem to ask and get information that I was completely unaware of, but that is extremely helpful in solving the problem. Thanks so much to both of you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational
Rumor, innuendo and vague all in one sentence. Wow.
What are the ages of these "small children" ?
The CPS folks will want to know as well.
MrRational, I chose my words very carefully to deliberately convey the tenuousness of my knowledge about the situation. That’s the nature and extent of my knowledge at this time - tenuous. That’s the way the information came to me. It is all I have to determine how I will respond now. And I have no choice but to respond now - some of my response choices include attempting to gather more information from the original source, reporting the situation to Child Protective Services or the police, or doing nothing.
My question was (and remains): Given my limited information about this situation, do you have recommendations and information for me?
As for the children’s ages I stated: “There are at least two children and both may be under seven.†This means I do not even know how many children there are or their specific ages. I know they are “small,†meaning very young. I will try to get the children's ages, or at least a better approximation.
You would be required to report if you witnessed something yourself or had true cause to suspect it yourself... if someone tells you about it or you hear it "might" be happening, it's simple hearsay - nothing more. So if any "obligation" you may feel is completely based on the word of another person, I would tread lightly.
I jumped in here because I know of a similar situation where Mom 1 had a grudge with Mom 2, so she told nosey Mom 3 about some made-up CPS issues who then reported them. It set off a chain of events that made Mom 2's life a nightmare - just because Mom 1 was a $#@!.
More often than not it's better to mind your own business when it comes to things you "hear"... seeing it for yourself is another matter entirely.
As someone who has made several reports to CPS...... they won't do anything.
I agree that it sounds like a little too much hearsay; that alone would get it thrown out by CPS.
TarHeelNick, it's really terrible that CPS has not responded to your reports. It's really terrible that children who need protection aren't getting it. Do you think there is value in getting your reports on record with CPS even if they do nothing? For example, do you think these reports could play a role in future legal actions and court cases?
My case is hearsay at this point. And the original source is not even sure the children are being left alone, but he apparently has some reason for suspecting it. Thanks for telling me that hearsay alone will get it thrown out by CPS. I appreciate all knowledgeable input as I decide what to do.
I jumped in here because I know of a similar situation where Mom 1 had a grudge with Mom 2, so she told nosey Mom 3 about some made-up CPS issues who then reported them. It set off a chain of events that made Mom 2's life a nightmare - just because Mom 1 was a $#@!.
This.
Don't call unless YOU can verify for yourself that those kids are in danger. To do anything else is to throw a hand grenade into the mom's life and the kids' lives. A far kinder thing to do would be to offer to help if you're really concerned. If you don't want to babysit the kids yourself maybe you can help the mom find somewhere to take them or someone reliable who is willing to watch them. There is no rule or law in North Carolina about how old a child has to be before they can be left at home alone.
In North Carolina, there are no hard and fast rules. The Department of Health and Human Services follows the state fire code, which says children under the age of 8 must be supervised due to the risk of fire. After that, it’s up to the parent’s discretion.
You don't even know how old the kids are. I'd start there. Ask them yourself or ask the mom. Introduce yourself. Take them some holiday cookies or something and try to be a good neighbor.
If, after you get to know them, you are still concerned for the kids' welfare and are unable to help supervise them yourself or unable to put the mom in touch with a child-care program or someone who can supervise them then there are instructions on what to do here: https://www2.ncdhhs.gov/contacts/faqs.htm
You would be required to report if you witnessed something yourself or had true cause to suspect it yourself... if someone tells you about it or you hear it "might" be happening, it's simple hearsay - nothing more. So if any "obligation" you may feel is completely based on the word of another person, I would tread lightly.
....
More often than not it's better to mind your own business when it comes to things you "hear"... seeing it for yourself is another matter entirely.
I think there is a lot of wisdom in what you say. I'm thinking about going back to the original source of the info regarding the possibility of the children being left alone sometimes and giving him the information and options I've learned here. That way he would learn that NC holds all citizens responsible for reporting children in need of child protection as well as the options for and challenges in reporting. My concern would be that the children are being left alone, but that he will not report it, but that is getting ahead of myself. I'll wait and see how he responds.
Thanks very much for taking the time to give me your thoughts on this. They are very helpful.
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