Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadia5226
I just moved here and everything seemed fine but now I noticed every time I stop at the park with my toddler people leave. I ask someone if they have change for a dollar in the mall for a riding toy and she looked at me in disgust and kept walking. I clearly saw she heard me and it was clear to see why I was asking for change. In another incident at the park a little girl that she was afraid of my daughter and her and her brother ran away from her and would not play with her thankfully she's not old enough to understand. The little girl told her no one wants to play with you and she told her brother not to let her touch him. My oldest is visiting her father for the summer but I'm thinking I may let her stay and I will be moving next year.
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I don't live in ND nor do I know why what you say is happening (if it is indeed occurring) might be so but perhaps one's perceptions (since they are influenced by personal bias and experience) are not always valid - though it may seem real to you if you 'expect' certain things to happen. I am however very sorry if they did indeed happen for the reasons I suspect you believe they did.
I hate to say it but I think that unfortunately the BLM movement has done more harm than good for those (of any colour) who just want to live their lives and be a regular part of society - not be viewed as different. I am guessing .. since you didn't state it, that you feel 'different' perhaps because your skin colour is not the norm where you are? If I am wrong, I apologize of course.
White people may indeed be very cautious now about black people even if they never were before - because who knows what is in someone's heart and mind unless one knows them well already? As an older white woman myself, I can tell you that I sense there is a real change in race relations recently - and that makes me cautious and while I still smile at everyone and try to help them out, I am also aware of possible problems if I just act as I would like to normally and not even 'see' colour (which personally I don't give a rat's behind about - we cannot help what colour we are .. we can help 'who' we are otherwise however). When I travel for instance, long distances and long hours in my car and have to stop late at night for gas in some areas that may look a bit dicey to me because the people hanging around the door are all very large young black men, instinct tells me that I better be cautious. How can I know if they have a 'chip on their shoulder' and I will look like an easy target - with so much in the news about beatdowns, etc. Yes, a white person 'could' do that too - they do do it, I know .. but, lately it feels as though the hatred in the air is tangible - and yes, of course, that is scary to someone alone in the dark.
However, back to your plight (which doesn't seem to currently involve the threat of violence at all) ... if you were white and those same things you talked about happened to you, you might just brush them off as people being a bit unfriendly or perhaps even decide that you could approach things a different way yourself since you are new and don't know the local etiquette, etc. and .. the children .. well, kids can be mean or stupid or silly or what have you .. and still be just kids doing what kids do with no prejudice whatsoever. You get to choose how you see things - because often those things are not what you may perceive them to be at first glance. Be cautious and 'prepared' if you need to but don't write things off .. just in case they really aren't as you are seeing/supposing they are.
No matter where you run, you probably can't hide unless you hide in the midst of a crowd that is just like you. You can choose to adapt and prove your own worth where you are .. give it some more time and try to understand that it may not be about 'you' per se .. or your child .. or you can move away again. Just leaving ND won't really help in my opinion. In fact, you could do a lot of good (even if your perceptions were right) by staying and showing people they have nothing to fear. Be who you want them to be.
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Moving to ND
