Luzerne County Ranks 3rd for Domestic-related Homicides (Kingston, North East: insurance, colleges)

[bloominscranton]

I graduated HS in 1984, we were taught the superwoman MYTH! Yes, ladies it is a myth. We are not superheros, we can not be all things to all people and be happy and content at the same time. I am blessed that I was able to stay home (mostly) for the first 4 years of my eldest two children's lives. I worked intermittently and attended college. After that, working full time, attending college full time, does not make a happy household, happy children or happy marriage. The only saving grace, due to my husbands Persian Gulf War illness, he was home with them and my mother was also a primary care provider for them so, I had peace of mind; but THAT was it!

The demands of our 24 hour rat race life, no parent at home, alcohol, access to mature adult content at younger and younger ages, is it really a wonder that teen violence and out of "relationship" pregnancy is at an all time high? The thing that has me stumped about THIS AREA IN PARTICULAR is that SINCE IT HAS SUCH A LARGE ROMAN CATHLOIC POPULATION what is the deal with all the alcoholism, violence and teen pregnancy? Are so many truly only Sunday Catholics? That is the way it seems to me. It truly is a sad state of affairs here in NEPA. My belief in my God does not allow for any of those things. Abstinence does not seem to be working here, I think something needs to change...just my 2 cents.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by loveinbloom

Yes, you got it. With out high quality child care and highly motivated parents with tremendous support (village raising a child), the children and the larger society have and are suffering.

The woman's movement IMHO, has taken our CHOICES away and pitted us women against each other in a way never before seen in our history. SAHM vs. Working, Yuppie vs. CLBC, conservative feminist vs. radical etc etc. and we are still making less than men are per hour! Women still do the majority of house work, child care, paternal care, etc etc.! What choice did we gain, we ALL have to generate some sort of income, that usually means outside of the home employment. So where is the gain, to the men"? Maybe, because most of us silly women (my age at least) bought into the 1980's mindset we could have it ALL!

Since moving back here, I have had the displeasure of watching the man I married back a long long long time ago start to regress! I moved from Long Island NY in 6/2007 and stepped right back into 1955, but with 21st century demands! My husband seems to like 1955, I would too, if I did not have any of the other things that were typically a "mans" job to do as well as all the duties of a 1955 housewife!

Balderdash. The reason there are women wars is because *some* women think their life path choices are the only ones that are valid. Career women denigrate SAHM's and SAHM's decry the lost time of career women. It's not because of the women's movement which made many advancements for the equality and rights of women.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by loveinbloom

I graduated HS in 1984, we were taught the superwoman MYTH! Yes, ladies it is a myth. We are not superheros, we can not be all things to all people and be happy and content at the same time. I am blessed that I was able to stay home (mostly) for the first 4 years of my eldest two children's lives. I worked intermittently and attended college. After that, working full time, attending college full time, does not make a happy household, happy children or happy marriage. The only saving grace, due to my husbands Persian Gulf War illness, he was home with them and my mother was also a primary care provider for them so, I had peace of mind; but THAT was it!

The demands of our 24 hour rat race life, no parent at home, alcohol, access to mature adult content at younger and younger ages, is it really a wonder that teen violence and out of "relationship" pregnancy is at an all time high? The thing that has me stumped about THIS AREA IN PARTICULAR is that SINCE IT HAS SUCH A LARGE ROMAN CATHLOIC POPULATION what is the deal with all the alcoholism, violence and teen pregnancy? Are so many truly only Sunday Catholics? That is the way it seems to me. It truly is a sad state of affairs here in NEPA. My belief in my God does not allow for any of those things. Abstinence does not seem to be working here, I think something needs to change...just my 2 cents.

I think it's a combination of everything discussed in this thread - money issues, out dated views on gender roles, the tacit acceptance of domestic abuse, etc.

[Mr Yuk]

Originally Posted by loveinbloom

The thing that has me stumped about THIS AREA IN PARTICULAR is that SINCE IT HAS SUCH A LARGE ROMAN CATHLOIC POPULATION what is the deal with all the alcoholism, violence and teen pregnancy? Are so many truly only Sunday Catholics?

The answer to your question is yes.....most people here seem to be Catholic more out of their upbringing and because its the church they were raised in, more of a cultural thing than being overly religious. Also, the alcoholism may actually be somewhat helped along by the area's Catholic roots, as the Catholic church is probably the church that is most tolerant of alcohol. Look at the church picnics all over the area in the summer.....one of the biggest attractions are the beer tents, along with gambling. There are people around here getting loaded on church grounds!

[Magritte25]

BTW, a *true* feminist would believe that a woman has the right to choose whatever life path she desires - whether it's being a traditional wife and mother, a WOHM, having no children etc.

[toobusytoday]

BTW, people that don't want this thread closed should try to keep this NEPA related.....

[Magritte25]

I fail to see how it is not related to the OP since the OP specifically talked about gender roles being an issue correlated with domestic violence.

[Jungle George]

Let's all have a "refresher course" in case we forgot....

https://www.city-data.com/forumtos.html

[auntieannie68]

op--one of the 2 major reasons here why domestic violence is so prevelant is due to lack of AFFORDABLE social services such as counselors,group programs and the reluctance of those involved to admit there is a problem due to "not wanting people to know"--still there is a stigma here towards those needing and wanting outside help with their problems(unless the help brings financial gain

[sheena12]

Good point, Annie. But there ARE services available. Look in Kingston alone! My though - people are reluctant to use them! The Roman Catholic Church, and the presence of so many people who come from ethnic groups that are known for what are called "strong family systems" - families where people rely on one another through out the life span.Get together more than on holidays, speak every day by phone etc.

The flip side of these "strong family systems" come with the ethos that says "we keep things in the FAMILY" - so what does one do when the FAMILY IS the PROBLEM? (there is a lot more wrong with "strong family systems" but I am not going to give a lecture here)

I am NOT categorically against the Roman Catholic Church - they are after all providing my kids with a fine education - but their doctrine is very traditional - i.e. gender ridged. And I am not Catholic.
The Catholic Church IS one of the most tolerant when it comes to drinking and gambling - but NOT when it comes to divorce, which is sometimes the only way out of an abusive relationship.